Today in Comics History, May 5, Cinco de Mayo: Happy Batto de Mayo!

Here's possibly the greatest English-language Cinco de Mayo comic book story – perhaps one of the very few? It's a time for celebration...



from "Cinco De Madness" in Batman: Li'l Gotham #5 (DC, May 2013); co-script, pencils, art, and colors by Dustin Nguyen, co-script by Derek Fridolfs; letters by Saida Temofonte
...for ♥ romance ♥...



...for puns...


...and for tacos!



Happy Cinco de Mayo, everybody!

Today in Comics History, March 26: Zatanna cancels her show because of the money

from Zatanna: Everyday Magic one-shot (DC/Vertigo, May 2003), script by Paul Dini, pencils and inks by Rick Mays, colors by Brian Miller, letters by Comicraft

365 Days of DC House Ads, Day 335: I llits t'nevah dnuof tahw m'i gnikool rof

And so we begin the countdown of the last 31 DC House Ads of 2013. Hope you've been enjoying it so far, and if I've missed any of your favorites, let me know in the comments and I'll try to fit them in somewhere (no promises, but it would help if you can provide the comic and issue number). Also: look for plenty of Christmas ads in the upcoming month!

I'll be sad to close the door on our House Ads, but I've got something fantastic and bombastic planned for 365 Days in 2014. In the words of Rocket J. Squirrel, now here's something we hope you'll really like! You can put your guesses and suggestions in the comments for that as well, although remember, this is not the Legion of Super-Heroes Election and I am not prone to bribery on behalf of Ultra Lad. This is a not a voting procedure, so please, no wagering.


House ad for Justice League of America (1960 series) #110 (March-April 1974); printed in Batman #255 (March-April 1974)
Ad designed and lettered by Gaspar Saladino (?)

365 Days of DC House Ads, Day 258: A is for Aquaman, who...wait, that was last week.

House ad for Adventure Comics #460 (November 1978) and Justice League of America (1960 series) #161 (December 1978)
printed in Detective Comics #480 (November-December 1978)
Comic cover art: Adventure #460: pencils by Ross Andru, inks by Dick Giordano, colors by Tatjana Wood, letters by Todd Klein
JLA #161: pencils by Rich Buckler, inks by Frank McLaughlin
Ad designed and lettered by Gaspar Saladino

It might just be me, but I think it would have been funnier if they'd spelled it "PEELB."

Panel from the Channel 52 back-up story in DC Comics shipped June 12, 2013, creators unknown

Kick in the Crotch Month, Day 4: Zatanna's greatest sleight-of-hand

Panel from Justice League Dark #0 (November 2012); script by Jeff Lemire; pencils by Lee Garbett; inks by Cam Smith, Jack Purcell, Scott Hanna, and Walden Wong; colors by Pete Pantazis; letters by Rob Leigh

You may find that blood is not enough

I didn't appreciate them at the time (not surprising, considering I'm only six years old), but the early 1980s Pre-Crisis DC Universe comics are a lot of fun. They have a friendly, earnest goofiness which, when it's done well, shows us the distinct difference between Marvel and DC of the time. Very soon after this period, worlds would live, and worlds would die, and the DC Universe was never the same again. But this is a period of outrageous team-ups (Batman and the Legion of Super-Heroes!), weird continuity (Pete Ross's son is kidnapped away from Earth to become a cosmic warrior!) and those big, overstuffed Dollar Comics: 80 to 100 pages of comics, frequently all-new, like this issue of Superman Family #214 (January 1982). Your standard ish of Supes Fam allowed the writers to focus on supporting cast members in the Super-Squad...a running Supergirl serial (from the period when she was a soap opera star!), and features on Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen (highlighting their smarts and go-get-'em capabilities to let them solve the mystery without Big Blue. There's even a regular "Mr. & Mrs. Superman" feature spotlighting the married Clark and Lois from Earth-2: amusing and often clever stories featuring the couple teaming up. Clearly this feature had to go...as everybody knows today, you can't tell a good story about a married superhero, right? Right? Um, never mind.

One of my fave features in Superman Family is "The Private Life of Clark Kent," which features Clark having adventures. Clark babysits a disappearing infant! Clark looks for a mynah bird that knows he's Superman! Well, maybe all of them aren't absolute winners. But I'm quite fond of the CK story in Superman Family #214, in which Clark is encouraged by Lana, to, in the words of Pete Townshend, "Give Blood!"


Panel from "Clark Gives Blood...Superman Saves Lives..." in Superman Family #214 (January 1982), script by Bob Rozakis, research by Laurie Rozakis, pencils by John Calnan, inks by Joe Giella, colors by Jerry Serpe, letters by Milt Snapinn

By the way: do you know the reason why Clark Kent always seems to be wearing a blue suit, white shirt, and red tie? Don't know? Didn't care? There's actually a canon reason for it: when changing to Superman, Clark would compress his civilian clothing into small cubes that would fit, along with his glasses, into a pouch underneath his cape! It's canon, kids! (Don't ask me where he put his belt or shoes.) The material that could be compressed so completely was developed by Superman in his Fortress of Solitude, but it would only take either red or blue dye! (Other colors wouldn't stick.) Supposedly this means Clark coulda worn a red suit and white tie, but even old square pre-Crisis Clark isn't that out of it!

Anyway, my point...and there's one around here someplace...is that if you know your DC Universe, you know that nothing short of an atomic bombshell can penetrate Clark's invulnerable skin. So how is he gonna be able to give blood? Needles won't pierce his skin! I suppose we could have Doomsday over in the blood clinic to beat Supes up until he bled, but that wouldn't happen for another ten years. (Consider this: it's been twice as long since Superman died until now than it was from that story to the death of Superman. My, how time flies!)

Of course Clark is going to try to weasel get out of the blood drive...once that needle snaps on his skin, it'll prove everything Lois Lane has suspected for years! (Say, how come she never just jabbed him with a pin?) He's got plenty of excuses...



Yes, folks, it's true: Clark Kent whimpers like a dog. Lana is thinking "Yeah, and that's why I didn't marry you."



Pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths means one of DC's favorite tropes...characters whose names are anagrams of something else. It's not quite the same as naming the Rainbow Raider "Roy G. Bivolo." It is similar to giving Lex Luthor's sister the false last name of "Thorul." I imagien she got a lot of questioning looks when she had to spell her name. "Thorul? Is that Polish?" It's names like that which make me look carefully at real names like Nel Yomtov in suspicion that it's a non de plume for Steve Ditko. (Which it isn't.)



What's this? Clark Kent being jabbed with a needle right through the skin?!? Inconceivable! I like that smirk in the lower right panel...Clarkie knows something but we don't yet. Me, I'm guessing it will be answered with a Flash Fact (Example: "Turtles traveling at more than the speed of sound will turn into soup. It's a Flash Fact, Wally!").



And again...a second needle in Clark's arm! It's only moderately less painful than having the self-rightous Jimmy "Mr. Action" lying on the cot next to him. I think Jimmy actually accidentally wandered into the clinic in search of his trademark green checked jacket.



Well, that solves the Mystery of Superman's Punctured Skin. Wait, no, it doesn't? So how did Clark give blood? Match wits with Ellery Queen Clark Kent and see if you can find out...howdunnit?



Let's get the obvious guesses out of the way first: that actually is Kal-El/Superman/Clark Kent lying there getting pierced with a surgical needle, not Batman with a rubber mask or a Superman Robot hastily topped full of blood or Mr. Mxyzptlk's blood-giving cousin Mr. Bldgyhm. Get it yet? All the clues you need are in the comic...and for that matter, in the panels I've posted above.

Later, Superman stops by the blood clinic, but the usual and expected reaction to poking Supes with a pointy stick occurs.



Knowing the answer depends on how well you know your DC Universe: Superman enlisted an accomplice to help him give blood...and she did it right in our full view...it's the nurse!



But who was that nurse? Why, none other than DC's favorite mistress of magic...the zelightful Zatanna! During her "I've got a bug on my head" years. Ah, that makes sense: as Superman, Clark is vulnerable to magic! But how did Zatanna disguised as a nurse slip that past everyone, including us...right in front of our eyes?

Well, remember what Zee the Nurse told Clark at the clinic?



Buried in the middle of all that...and remember that Zatanna's magic works when she speaks words backwards...is this command to Kal-El:



Magic! In plain sight! Now that's the charm of the Pre-Crisis era. What do you have to say to that, Earth-2 Superman?



Play us off, Pete Townshend! But please: don't smash our guitars.

I get by with a little help from my friends

I have myself the bestest pals. Mind you, I like bein' pals with everybody. (Except those senators on the take on Capital Hill with whom I have made myself powerful enemies). But if you really think you wanna be a really good pal with a little stuffed bull, well, I'm not bribeable, but I am impressed by free gifts of hot waffles, twinberry syrup, creamery butter, and original art.

That's only one of my favorite friends Boston's favorite son of fun, Kevin Church, Mister BeaucoupKevin, Lord of The Rack*, Ground Control for The Loneliest Astronauts**, and...um...the guy who writes She Died in Terrebonne***. (There! Did I get in all my up-to-date plugs in, Mister C.?) It's not even my birthday, and Kevin sent me a dandy present: a commissioned color sketch of Ben Grimm as Blackbeard drawn by my favoritest artist, Colleen Coover! It's an overload of delightful-osity!


Arrrr, click me to blow me up, ye scurvy dog!

Man oh man, that some kind of wonderful. Thank you Kevin, thank you Colleen! You guys, much like Ben Grimm, totally rock.

Looks like I've got quite a good start on my "Wall o' Colleen Coover" with this and some of my other Colleen art, like the wonderful portrait of yours little stuffed truly she sent me for my birthday:


Click image to bubble-size

And there's the Colleen Coover Zatanna sketch I won on eBay from Comix4Sight, auctioning of lovely collectible things to raise funds to help John Ostrander in his fight against glaucoma.



It's a wonderful piece of art and a fantastic cause, and you can help too: Comix4Sight has more great items up for bidding on eBay that'll contribute to the fundraising.

So, I have the bestest pals, and the niftiest original art. I've got just about everything I need in the world!

Almost everything. (Hint, hint:)


*Co-created with Benjamin Birdie.
**Co-created with Ming Doyle.
***Co-created with T. J. Kirsch.
****And don't forget (even tho' I momentarily did!) Lydia, co-created with Max Riffner.

Arroooo from You: Phaustus presents Zatanna Special #1

Arroooo! It's that time again, in the dead of the night, where we dip into the spooky, scary, and spicy world of arroooo, the universal sound effect. To paraphrase Elton John, "Arroooo says so much"!

And just like Mister John, what arroooo also says is...sweet, sweet, love. Love of a man for a woman, and for her excellent bunny-pulling-out-of-a-hat talents. (Well, that's what I look for in a gilrfriend!) It's the kind of skill that just makes a mustached, fluffy-haired man of the 1980s go arroooo, or its closest DC Universe equivalent. What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about tonight's "Arroooo From You," submitted by fearless and frantic philosopher Phaustus aka Philippe, overloard of Tragical History, "The World's Most Obscure Comics Blog!" Well, I dunno know about that...Philippe's font choice for his header is flawless. Not only that, but he's contributed tonight's awesomely abracadrabric arroooo and you can find it by clickety-click-clicking right here to see his post on Zatanna Special #1, and by reading the scary, scary tale of a man who's so close to a werewolf, his hair is perfect.

The DC Wikia, which comes in twenty-three volumes you can buy at your local Piggly-Wiggly, tells us that the Zatanna Special was originally created as a four-issue miniseries, but edited into one single annual-size special, deleting many pages of Grey Morrow's beautiful artwork in the process. Well, we can at least be glad they didn't omit arroooo! Thanks, Philippe, for alerting us all to the joy and beauty that is arroooo in the world of stage magicians, their fishnet stockings, and their 1980s boyfriends. You're hereby awarded the extremely rare Bull-Prize known as the Ezirp-Llub!

Do you wanna arroooo? It's easy as pie! Just email me a panel or panels featuring the sound effect arroooo (or a similar sound effect) scanned from any comic book we haven't covered here yet. Make sure you tell me what comic book it comes from, and email your scans to this address:

Or, like Philippe, you can post it on your own blog and send me a link so I can link back and properly credit you for your arroooo!

So, in conclusion, folks, remember the words of Elton John: "She's got electric boots, a mohair suit/You know I read it in a magazine arroooo..."

A lethargic, lazy, turkey-and-gravy-stuffed comics review

Boy, am I full.

I am lying on the couch stuffed with turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie and about all I can do it read this week's comics and tell you whether or not they are fun. I am too full for running around in Prospect Park playing touch football. I am too full to go early Christmas shopping on Black Friday and get all the bargains by heading out to the stores that are opening at 2:30 AM to allow you to save 1.5% on a liquid plasma television set. I am even too full to get up and change the channel so I am stuck watching the Thanksgiving weekend The Apprentice marathon.

How full am I? Well, when I say I'm a little stuffed bull, I really am a little stuffed bull! Tee hee!

Ow. My stomach hurts from giggling. Will someone please bring me an Alka-Seltzer? In the meantime, let's look at some comics.

SHE-HULK #2: This comic is fun. Look, I just like time-paradox stories, okay? So the fact that I didn't understand a lot of what was really going on in this issue but still enjoyed the heck out of it is a plus. One of my favorite bits was Hawkeye not understanding that everyone knows he died in AVENGERS #502 (not a fun comic). Plus, Awesome Andy is on a secret mission? Could this possibly lead into next month's thrilling SHE-HULK #100 comic? (Answer: I dunno, but I betcha!) Anyway, good fun, both silly and serious in this book. Points off for the dopey looking Greg Horn painted cover...it just doesn't tell you what a wild fun ride the comic is, and gee, I should never have to think about Hawkeye's lips, but holy cow, there they are! Aieeeeeeeee! Hawkeye’s scary lips!


FUTURAMA #22: This comic is fun. Top of my list of "Comics I Like That Are Based on Cancelled TV Shows I Used to Like" (at least until they produce a Magnum, P.I. comic. Huh, Marvel? Huh? Huh?) Anyway, you know how you can sum up most episodes of some TV shows with a single generic TV Guide listing? (Like this: COLUMBO: Columbo investigates the perfect murder. Or SMALLVILLE: A Kryptonite-powered teen villain threatens Clark's secret. Or GILMORE GIRLS: Lorelai has an argument with Emily and then everyone talks really really fast about pop culture references.) Well, then there's this one: FUTURAMA: Bender's latest money-making scheme goes awry and nearly kills Fry. But even if it's predictable, how can you not love a comic that includes Bender dressing up as Amy, President Nixon losing his jowl fat, and the Caption-Bot? It's all tied into a story with Bender becoming New New York's fitness czar and Fry greasing the transportations tubes of the city with delicious, delicious bacon fat. The creative comic at Bongo have the most important aspect of a successful TV-to-comics adaptation: the characters sound absolutely authentic; you can actually hear John DiMaggio as Bender when he declares on page 19: "Sure thing, right after I do my nightly roll in the money I've made today!'" All this, and a Superman crossover...really! If this doesn't sound fun to you...well...boo on you!


ZATANNA #4: This comic is fun. I'm not allowed to read every issue of Seven Soldiers (John, why can't I look at BULLETEER #1? Huh? Huh? Huh?) but those I have seen I've like a lot, even if I don't quite understand them...at least until I read all of 'em in one big Seven Soliders marathon festival. In this issue, Zee's quest for the Seven Unknown Men takes her into a magical battle that, like everything Mister Grant Morrison does, builds on traditional comic book cliché but takes them spinning off into his own hyper-nano-po-mo direction, so you can see touches of Steve Ditko and Gene Colan and Carmine Infantino and Mike Sekowsky in Ryan Sook's art, but it's orig'nal and fresh and keeps you (well, me, at least) guessing through the whole story. And ZATANNA #4 gets extra points for The Best Line of the Week (maybe even the year!): "It's a magnificent beard and I know you want one! Hahahaha!" There’re a very sweet few panels where Zatanna's father explains to her that his legacy to the world was not his spells or his magic books: it was his daughter. (sniff) Also, it is extra fun reading her backwards dialogue. And um...fishnets. They make me feel funny. But nice. That's why ZATANNA #4 is the most fun comic of the week!


Okay! Now I'm ready for leftover stuffing and pie! Just mash 'em up in a big bowl and bring me a spoon. Yay for leftovers!