Saturday, March 29, 2014

Psylocke Psaturday #25: Then all this stuff happened

Yikes! We haven't pspent Psaturday night with Psylocke for a longgggg time. Maybe it's because I've been psrocratinating this era in our purple-haired heroine's life because it's all just hanging around in Australia waiting for the inevitable reboot. So why don't we take a rapid recap approach to Ms. Elisabeth Braddocks' life by quickly summing up all the stuff that happened in X-Men #240-251, inclusive! I may have left our your favorite part, and if so, let me know. Note: Jubilee's original costume does not count as anyone's favorite part.

Also, I sure hope you like Marc Silvestri's artwork if you're gonna study this period!

Let's recap! During this period Psylocke posed a la Rose Dewitt-Bukater for Colossus. I'm not quite certain why Peter is drawing while armored up and in his underwear, but hey! Put your legs together, Peter! we don't sit like that around here!

Panel from Uncanny X-Men #240 (January 1989), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Marc Silvestri, inks by Dan Green, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechowski

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 88: The Tesseract Box

So if there's one thing we learned from the Avengers movie, it's that everybody loves Loki (which is also the name of his popular Asgard-TV sitcom). Another thing we learned is that tesseract means cube. A...Cosmic cube, if I make take the liberty.

Which helps us identify this next piece of KirbyTech, the Tesseract Box. Since tesseract means cube and box means cube, what you have here is a cube cube.

Panels from Fantastic Four/Fantastic 4 [Annual] '98 (December 1998), script by Karl Kesel, pencils by Stuart Immonen, inks by Cam Smith, colors by Gloria Vasquez, letters by Jon Babcock

Not certain if Reed Richards created and built this (so he doesn't get credit for it in the post title!), but what it appears to do is keep food fresh, which means maybe Sue bought it at one of Janet van Dyne's frequent Tupperware™ parties. Actually, from the context it appears to not only keep the delicious, pungent scent of stinky cheese out of the kitchen, it may also be bigger on the inside and hold it within a time-space lock to keep it from aging.

So i'm guessing the tesseract box is a cross between...quite possibly the intelligent offspring of...the TARDIS...

...and a Thrint/Slaver Stasis Box.

And you can keep cheese in it. Now I know what I'm getting my pal John for his birthday!

Friday, March 28, 2014

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 87: Kanjar Ro's Crypto-Portal

Green Lantern archnemesis Kanjar Ro's Crypto-Portal can look into all the events of Earth's past! Big whoop. I've got one of those, too. It's called The History Channel.

Panels from "The Silver Age" in Silver Age Secret Files one-shot (July 2000), script by D. Curtis Johnson, pencils by Mike Collins, inks by Vince Russell, colors by Tom McCraw, color separations by Digital Chameleon, letters by Kurt Hathaway

In order to show world-conqueror wanna-be Agamemno of the resistance he'll face on Earth and also the reason Kanjar Ro has failed every time, he has the Crypto-Portal show Agamemno the big-name superheroes of Earth! And Aquaman.

Yep, all that plus Superman, Batman, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonder Dog. A pretty impressive line-up. But I can't help but think that the whole invasion plot of Agamemno could have been averted, and the whole Silver Age miniseries wouldn't have needed to be published, if only Kanjar Ro had shown off Earth's Mightiest Heroes:

Right, yeah? Well, if you don't agree, then you make one to scare off Agamemno!:


Thursday, March 27, 2014

I sure hope J. Jonah Jameson fired somebody over that typo

So, within the first two minutes of the new Marvel Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher direct-to-DVD animated movie, we see a newspaper website displayed on a computer monitor:

Oh, for Pete's sake, movie. If you're going to take time to show us exposition on a screen, at least ensure it makes grammatical sense, huh? Also...

I'm pretty sure he doesn't have that symbol trademarked. And if he does, he's got a better lawyer than Matt Murdock.

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 86: Annihilus' Gyro-Saw

The Gyro-Saw! The only free-wheelin' giant saw blade with the great taste of tzatziki sauce!

Panel from Fantastic Four Annual #6 (November 1968), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Joe Sinnott, letters by Sam Rosen

It's not KirbyTech, but I couldn't pass up showing you what appears in the very next panel: The All-Engulfing Sonic Sponge.

The Sonic Sponge, everyone.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Today in Comics History, March 26: Zatanna cancels her show because of the money

from Zatanna: Everyday Magic one-shot (DC/Vertigo, May 2003), script by Paul Dini, pencils and inks by Rick Mays, colors by Brian Miller, letters by Comicraft

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 85: Secret Government Facility Gamma Reactor

The Thunderbolts, that snazzy squadron that dresses in red and black, has infiltrated an abandoned secret government base. Why abandoned? Because it apparently doesn't have DSL.

Panel from Thunderbolts (2013 series) #20.NOW (March 2014), script by Charles Soule, pencils and inks by Carlo Barberi, colors by Israel Silva, letters by Joe Sabino

The Red Leader (no relation to this guy) must connect his psychotronic brain to the World Wide Web...I dunno, every hour? that he Cheezeburger Cat photos, I guess. If he doesn't hook up to the Internet, this bus will explode his big bulgy head will go all melty or burn out or maybe turn green again, I'm not certain. To get the web up and running, the Leader must repair a deactivated gamma reactor.

And that deactivated gamma reactor looks like this:

Today in Comics History, March 26, 1942: The Pacific Fleet sets sail under the cover of Lotte Reiniger

from "The Raid on Saint-Nazaire" Combat! #19 (Dell, March 1966), scripter and artist unknown

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 84: The Inhumans' Magnetic-Powered Ark

Back in the dawn of prehistory, when primitive cavemen lived in crude dwellings merely approximating modern civilization...

...but while these tribes were the hunters, the biogentically engineered advanced Inhumans were the gatherers, scooping up examples of weird and interesting wild, wild life to study with their Magnetic Space Arc [sic].

Panel from "The Origin of...the Incomparable Inhumans!" in Thor (1966 series) #146 (November 1967), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Joe Sinnott, letters by Artie Simek

What kind of fauna did the early Inhumans cart away, you may ask? Well, that's simple: here we can see they're collecting a tapir.

Their scientific experiments upon the humble tapir accelerated its own evolution billions of years beyond the knowledge of men, which is why this summer you've got a Marvel space adventure movie coming out this summer that stars Rocket Tapir. Unless I've gotten that wrong.

Monday, March 24, 2014

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 83: Reed Richards' Fire Extinguisher

Reed Richards doesn't buy his fire extinguishers down at the Ace Hardware, uh uh, no way. He makes quantum fire extinguishers.

Panels from Fantastic Four #256 (July 1983); script, pencils, and inks by John Byrne; colors by Glynis Wein; letters by Jim Novak

Of course, Johnny Storm, quick-thinking dumbass that he is, flames on to fight the fire.

Smooth move, Johnny.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 82: Doctor Doom's Gas Grenade

Doctor Doom stinks! And here's proof!:

Panel from Fantastic Four (1961 series) #84 (March 1969), co-plot and script by Stan Lee, co-plot and pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Joe Sinnott, letters by Artie Simek

Today in Comics History Future, March 23, 2025: Jokes about the French finally cease

from Fantomex Max #2 (Marvel, January 2014), script by Andrew Hope, pencils and inks by Shawn Crystal, colors by Lee Loughride, letters by Joe Sabino