Today in Comics History, December 27: Apparently this is the day Wolverine dies

from Incredible Hercules #128 (Marvel, June 2009), script by Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente, pencils by Dietrich O. Smith, inks by Terry Pallot, colors by Raúl Treviño, letters by Joe Caramagna

Today in Comics History, December 27: It has taken Barbara Gordon only four weeks to morph into Mary Jane Watson

from "Tall, Dark, Handsome — and Missing!" in Detective Comics #384 (DC, February 1969), script by Mike Friedrich, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Murphy Anderson

Alfred Pennyworth and Bruce Wayne Wish You a Merry Christmas

Panel from Detective Comics (2011 series) #37 (February 2015), script by Francis Manapul and Brian Buccellato, pencils and inks by Francis Manapul, colors by Brian Buccellato, letters by Jared K. Fletcher

Black Widow Wishes You a Merry Christmas

Panels from "...And To All a Good Night" in Amazing Adventures #5 (March 1971), script by Roy Thomas, pencils by Gene Colan, inks by Bill Everett, letters by Artie Simek

Judge Dredd Wishes You a Very Merry Christmas

Panels from the Judge Dredd story "I Hate Christmas" in 2000 AD Prog 867 (25 December 1993), script by Mark Millar, art by Carlos Ezquerra, letters by Tom Frame

Today in Comics History, December 24: Live from 200 Miles Northeast of Edmonton, it's the Wolverine Christmas Spectacular!

from Grindhouse: Drive In, Bleed Out #1 (Dark Horse, November 2014), script and letters by Alex De Campi, pencils and inks by R. M. Guéra, colors by Giulia Brusco

Today in Comics History, December 24: An extra is imported from the set of Mary Poppins

from "The Egg!" in Strange Tales #2 (Marvel/Atlas, August 1951), pencils by Morris Marcus (?), inks by Frank Sieminsky, letters by Artie Simek

Today in Comics History, December 24, 1776: George Washington invents the triple-decker cheeseburger

from "Unstuck in Time!" in Archie Giant Series Magazine #602 [The World of Jughead] (Archie, October 1989), script by Rich Margopoulos, pencils by Doug Crane, inks by Tom Moore, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

Today in Comics History, December 24: The Avengers would like to remind you that this is the last happy moment in their comic books through at least next year

from Avengers Annual (2014 series) #1 (Marvel, February 2014), script by Kathryn Immonen, pencils and inks by David Lafuente, colors by Rain Beredo and Lee Loughridge, letters by Cory Petit

Today in Comics History, December 24: Dorothy Gale files a restraining order on Santa Claus

from The Road to Oz #6 (Marvel, May 2013), script by Eric Shanower based on the novel by L. Frank Baum, pencils and inks by Skottie Young, colors by Jean-Francois Beaulieu, letters by Jeff Eckleberry

Today in Comics History, December 22, 199?: Batman is so angry about not knowing Fidel Finnegan III's exact year of birth that his nose disappears

from Detective Comics #636 (DC, Late September 1991), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by Jim Fern, inks by Steve Mitchell, colors by Adrienne Roy, letters by John Costanza

Today in Comics History, December 21, 1963: New hexagonal moon does not test well in English suburbia

from "Sympathy for the Devil" in 2000 AD Prog 873 (Fleetway, 4 February 1994), script by Alan McKenzie, art by Steve Parkhouse and Nick Abadzis and (Gina?) Hart, letters by Steve Parkhouse

Today in Comics History, December 21, 2049: Xiaolian does more by 9 AM on Winter Solstice than you do all day

from East of West #5 (Image, August 2013), script by Jonathan Hickman, pencils and inks by Nick Dragotta, colors by Frank Martin, letters by Rus Wooton

Today in Comics History, December 20: Bruce Campbell continues to ignore Barbara Gordon

from "Tall, Dark, Handsome — and Missing!" in Detective Comics #384 (DC, February 1969), script by Mike Friedrich, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Murphy Anderson

Today in Comics History, December 14, 1972: In Soviet Russia, robot is replaced by you

from Iron Man: Fatal Frontier digital comic #2 (Marvel, December 2013), story by Kieron Gillen and Al Ewing; script by Al Ewing; layouts by Carmine Di Giandomenico; pencils by Lan Medina; inks by David Meikis, Juan Vlasco, and Terry Pallot; colors by Matt Milla, Guy Major, and Andres Mossa; letters by Joe Sabino

Today in Comics History, December 14, 1799: George Washington's medical insurance runs out

from Action Presidents: Washington (Evil Twin, November 2013); script by Fred Van Lente; pencils, inks, and letters by Ryan Dunlavey

Another new character from the upcoming Star Wars movie

Don't worry, I'll be back soon!

Today in Comics History, December 13: Batgirl has a hunch

from "Tall, Dark, Handsome — and Missing!" in Detective Comics #384 (DC, February 1969), script by Mike Friedrich, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Murphy Anderson

Today in Comics History, December 12, 2012: Mayans smack that smart-ass smirk off Mr. Peabody's face

from Mr. Peabody and Sherman #1 (IDW, November 2013), script by Sholly Fisch; pencils, inks, and colors by Jorge Monlongo; letters by Tom B. Long
Hey, wasn't it supposed to be December 21?

Today in Comics History, December 7, 1941: Remember Pearl Harbor...in space!

from What If...? (1977 series) #14 (Marvel, April 1979), plot by Gary Friedrich, script by Don Glut, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Pablo Marcos, colors by "D. R. Martin" (a pen-name for various artists), letters by Tom Orzechowski
Welcome to Pearl Harbor...in SPACE! ACE ACE ace ace ace ace Wait, how did we get to this wacky alternative world, where we're outer space superpowers in the year 1941!?? Well, just remember that it's an issue of What If...?, that joint by the Watcher in which he tells you that a tiny change in action or attitude by a Marvel character during a known event in Marvel Universe history can change the future dramatically, fracturing reality and creating a spin-off from Earth-616...in this case, Earth-7918, where Nick Fury fought World War II in Outer Space!

So what famous Marvel moment was changed to come up with this wacky world? Did Spider-Man forget to pick up his lunch from Aunt May the day he got bitten by the radioactive spider? Did Bruce Banner develop the cobalt bomb instead of the gamma bomb? Did Mr. Fantastic actually name himself "Dr. Fantabulous?" Nope: t'was ever thus: Marvel superstar Leonardo DaVinci built some stuff, as seen in the turning point of Amazing Renaissance Adventures #18!


So yeah. That happened.

Today in Comics History, December 6: Batgirl's crazy for a sharp-dressed man

from "Tall, Dark, Handsome — and Missing!" in Detective Comics #384 (DC, February 1969), script by Mike Friedrich, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Murphy Anderson

Today in Comics History, December 2, 1968: I'm just talkin' 'bout Shaft

from Shaft #1 (Dynamite, December 2014), script and letters by David F. Walker, pencils and inks by Bilquis Evely, colors by Daniela Miwa

Today in Comics History, November 30: It is proven that courting couples are just rock-stupid insane

from "Wedding Forecast!" in Wonder Woman (1942 series) #182 (DC, May 1969), writer and artist uncredited and unknown

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 30: Not Actually Veronica Lodge

Hey, we're at the end of Archie's Generic Celebrities Month! What do you think about that, Reggie Mantle?


Panel from "Teen Paparazzi" in Archie & Friends #116 (April 2008), script by George Gladir, pencils by Fernando Ruiz, inks by Jon D'Agostino, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Jon D'Agostino
Actually, Reggie, no, because to qualify as a Generic Celebrity in Riverdale, you have to have a soundalike name to the original. For example, what happens to Veronica Lodge when her name is misspelled on her driver's license!:


Panels from "A Fishy License" in Betty and Veronica (1987 Series) #106 (December 1996), script by Hal Smith, pencils and inks by Dan DeCarlo, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida
So pretty much the rest of the story is taken up with the wacky hijinks of Betty chauffeuring Veronica around town and then Ronnie takes her driver's license test again and gets a new license and then here we go:


There you go, folks: Archie's Generic Celebrities Month. i hope you has as good a time as we did with Jangelina Olie, Wuce Brillis, and Cenedibt Bumbercatch. And what about you, Cheryl Blossom?

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 29: Not Actually Pussy Riot

Panels from the Josie and the Pussycats story "Music for the Masses, Part 2, Chapter 4" (whew!) in Betty and Veronica Comics Digest Magazine #177 (October 2007), no credits given, but here's my guesses: script by Dan Parent, pencils by Rex W. Lindsey, inks by Rich Koslowski, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 28: Not Actually the Smashing Pumpkins

Panel from "Faith, Hope, and Cheryl!" in Cheryl Blossom Special #2 (1995), script and pencils by Bill Golliher, inks by Rudy Lapick, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 27: Not Actually Martha Stewart

It's Thanksgiving! And what better obsessive-compulsive holiday could there be to roll out the Archie's Generic Version of übercraftsperson Martha Stewart! I bet this one's been to prison, too. Say, remember the last time a Martha expy appeared in this feature? Why, sure you do, all the way back on November 17!:


Panels from "Cheryl in the Morning" in Cheryl Blossom (1997 series) #5 (September 1997), script and pencils by Dan Parent, inks by Jon D'Agostino, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida
Well, she's back! Sorta.


Panels from the Cheryl Blossom story "How Crafty!" in B&V Friends Double Digest Magazine #223 (May 2012), script and pencils by Dan Parent, inks by Rudy Lapick, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida
I'm not certain who I'd vote for in a showdown between Martha Stewart and Cheryl Blossom OH WHO AM I KIDDING IT'S CHERYL ALL THE WAY


Hah! It's funny because we loathe her!

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 26: Not Actually the Real Sonic the Hedgehog, Even Though Archie Comics Could Totally Guest-Star Him If They Wanted To

Panels from "Pet Department" in Betty & Veronica Double Digest #216 (November 2013), script by George Gladir, pencils by Jeff Schultz, inks by Al Milgrom, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

HARRY HEDGEHOG

PLEDGES THAT

HE WILL KILL YOU

Credit where credit is due dept: That series of increasingly-zoomed panels at the bottom is inspired by and dedicated to American Favorite Comics Blogger Since 1969, Mike Sterling, who calls it the "freak out". Catch him talking about that very technique over at Progressive Ruin today!

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 25: Not Actually the Incredible Hulk

Dilton Doiley: student; scientist; nerd: searching for a way to tap into the acceptance of his teenage peers. Then: an accidental overdose of grape radiation alters his body chemistry! Now when Dilton Doiley grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs! The creature is driven by rage and wanted for a pantsing he didn't commit. Dilton Doiley is believed to be a nerd, and he must let the world think that he is a nerd, until he can find a way to control the Incredible Bulk that dwells within him!



Panels from "Return of the Bulk!" in Archie & Friends #63 (January 2003), script by Mike Pellowski (?), pencils and inks by Rex Lindsey (?)
Of course, by the time Hollywood got hold of the Incredible Bulk story, they just had to meddle with it and change a few things about the character, which just enraged the fanboy populace.


Panel from "Body Image" in Betty and Veronica Double Digest #204 (October 2012), script by George Gladir, pencils by Jeff Shultz, inks by Henry Scarpelli, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

Today in Comics History, November 25: Happy Be Bitchy to Your Mother Day

from "Wedding Forecast!" in Wonder Woman (1942 series) #182 (DC, May 1969), creators uncredited and unknown

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 24: Not Actually Archie

Panels from "The Big Mystery!" in Archie and Friends Double Digest #26 (May 2013), script by George Gladir, pencils by Henry Scarpelli, inks by Jon D'Agostino

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 23: Not Actually Any of These Companies Which Probably Have Pretty Good Copyright Lawyers

Panel from "Spellbound" in World of Archie Double Digest #36 (March 2014), script by George Gladir, pencils by Tim Kennedy, inks by Ken Selig, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida





Panel from "Mystery of the Ages" in B&V Friends Double Digest #229 (November 2012), script by Mike Pellowski, pencils by Jeff Shultz, inks by Al Milgrom, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida





Archie Sunday comic (original date unknown), reprinted in Betty and Veronica Double Digest #201 (July 2012), script by Craig Boldman, pencils and inks by Henry Scarpelli





Panel from "My Dad...the Supermodel!" in Betty & Veronica Double Digest #204 (October 2012), script and pencils by Dan Parent, inks by Jim Amash, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida





Panel from a Betty and Veronica story that I forgot to label my scans with the name





Panel from "Online & Out of Line" in Betty and Veronica Spectacular #45 (January 2001), script and pencils by Dan Parent, inks by Jon D'Agostino, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida





Panels from "Online & Out of Line" in Betty and Veronica Spectacular #45 (January 2001), script and pencils by Dan Parent, inks by Jon D'Agostino, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida





Panel from "The Great All-American Pembrooke-Riverdale Food Eating Contest! Munchie Mania! Part 1" in Archie at Riverdale High #97 (June 1984), script by Rich Margopoulos, pencils by Stan Goldberg





Panel from the Josie and the Pussycats story "A Singular Idea" in Tales from Riverdale Digest #26 (March 2008), script by Bill Golliher, pencils by Rex Lindsey, inks by Rich Koslowski, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

So remember, shop at all these famous generic Riverdale businesses! Don't forget to bring your MustardCard or your American Excess!