Consternation, uproar! The New DC is barely half a crisis into its new life, and already startling and controversial changes are being made that the fans are up in arms over! And
aside from Rob Liefeld's return, many of these dubious changes involve the
physical appearances of the DC Comics characters we've all come to know and love
except Lobo. Unless you've had your head under an Earth-2 over the past couple days, you know that that
Amanda "The Wall" Waller...

...is now played by
Beyonce!

Green Arrow no longer sports his luxurious blonde mustache and goatee!

Violating years of continuity, our beloved
Batgirl is no longer Asian
nor blonde!

And
Superman no longer has a yellow belt! (Why
did Superman wear a yellow belt, anyway?*)

But wouldja
believe...
there's more? (There
is!) Here now, for the very first time:
the most startling physical changes to classic characters in the new DC Universe!
Alfred the Butler: fat again

Aquaman: now has webbed toes

Jimmy Olsen: round as a Weeble

Starfire: now even bustier

Black Lightning: now Caucasian

Despero: now has only two eyes, plus monocle

Batman: real ears are now tall and pointy to match mask

Lois Lane: vestigial tail

Deathstroke: blind in different eye

Mr. Mind: now a beautiful butterfly

Dex-Starr: neutered

Guy Gardner: neutered

Black Canary: luxurious blonde mustache and goatee

Darkseid: combover

*To keep his blue pants up.