Saturday, October 17, 2015

Today in Comics History, October 17, 1986: The City of Townville is Under Attack!

from Deadface #3 (Harrier, October 1987); script, pencils, inks and letters by Eddie Campbell

365 Days of Star Wars Comics, Day 290: Be careful what you wish for, Leia

Panels from Princess Leia #4 (June 2015), script by Mark Waid, pencils by Terry Dodson, inks by Rachel Dodson, colors by Jordie Bellaire, letters by Joe Caramagna

Friday, October 16, 2015

365 Days of Star Wars Comics, Day 289: Noooooobody expects the Sith Inquisition

Page from Star Wars: Darth Vader and the Ghost Prison #1 (May 2012); script by Haden Blackman; pencils, inks, and colors by Agustin Alessio, letters by Michael Heisler

Thursday, October 15, 2015

365 Days of Star Wars Comics, Day 288: Chewbacca adopts a space urchin

Panels from Chewbacca #1 (December 2015), script by Gerry Duggan; pencils, inks, and colors by Phil Noto; letters by Joe Caramagna

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

365 Days of Star Wars Comics, Day 287: From the Fan Fiction Adventures of Luke Skywalker, Episode I

Panels from Star Wars (1977 series) #17 (November 1978), plot by Chris Claremont, script by Archie Goodwin, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Al Milgrom, colors by Marie Severin, letters by Rick Parker

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

365 Days of Star Wars Comics, Day 286: Zod visits the Star Wars Universe

Panel from Star Wars: Dark Empire II #4 (March 1995); script by Tom Veitch; pencils, inks, and colors by Cam Kennedy; letters by Todd Klein

Monday, October 12, 2015

Today in Comics History, October 12, 1963: Fin Fang Foom is forcibly ejected by bouncers from Appleby's

from "October Incident: 1966" in All-New Miracleman Annual #1 (Marvel, February 2015), script by Grant Morrison, pencils and inks by Joe Quesada, colors by Richard Isanove, letters by Chris Eliopoulos

Jack Kirby's Monsters, Night 12: I Fought the Colossus and the Colossus Won

Cover of Strange Tales #72 (December 1959), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Christopher Rule, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek

Yes, Jack Kirby predicted planetary warming, as seen in this absolutely true-to-life scenario that also happens to feature a world-wide computer that can predict the outcome of any global question, even what will be on NBC in the fall of 2015. (It predicts Blindspot will be cancelled by January!)

Splash page from "I Fought the Colossus!" in Strange Tales #72 (December 1959), plot by Stan Lee (?), script by Larry Lieber (?), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Steve Ditko, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek

In short, this is not much different than the also-Kirby Ruler of Earth. Still, guys, I'm pretty sure naming a big worldwide government-replacing computer "Colossus" is not all that great an idea.

...especially a computer that is secretly building a big ass robot. Or, as he was known in those days, Peter Rasputin.

Like Honeycomb, this robots big. (Yeah, yeah, yeah!) Also, dig that kuh-razy Kirby architecture! Frank Gehry, turn in your t-square — Jack's got you beat!

With those giant clodhoppers a-trampin' left 'n' right, how could the robot be anything other than an enemy? So, let's escalate the fight directly to atomic weapons. Really? And you guys got this far in civilization with that sorta attitude? I call shenanigans on that.

Luckily, the robot is rock stupid and is easily led over a cliff. Maybe they shouldn't have installed that special secret "Wile E. Coyote" protocol.

Then, humanity threatens the most powerful computer in the world by arriving to chop it up with axes and sledgehammers.

But what's this? (In my William Dozier voice) Turns out that the computer had built the robot to bring about an era of peace, harmony, prosperity and knowledge. Also: giant robots.

How does that make ya feel about humanity now? ... Dumb-asses.

Today in Comics History, October 12, 2014: Secret Agent Lex Luthor is equipped with picture-in-picture vision

from Grayson #9 (DC, August 2015); co-plot by Tim Seeley, co-plot and script by Tom King, pencils and inks by Mikel Janín, colors by Jeromy Cox, letters by Carlos M. Mangual
(Click picture to it's hard to draw a train without making the panel extra-wide-size)

365 Days of Star Wars Comics, Day 285: Elderly Hank McCoy becomes a chef for the Rebel Alliance, as far as I can tell

Panel from Star Wars: Dark Times: A Spark Remains #1 (July 2013), script by Randy Stradley, pencils and inks by Douglas Wheatley, colors by Dan Jackson, letters by Michael Heisler

Today in Comics History, October 12 (Let's Poke Fun at Columbus Day Special): Christopher Columbus and Napoleon Bonaparte get into an argument about which one of them is more popular so they time-travel to the 20th century to find out if…look, I don't write these comics, I just post about them

from "Across the Ages!" in Strange Adventures #60 (DC, September 1955), script by John Broome, pencils by Jerry Grandenetti, inks by Joe Giella

I included the indicia and the header in these scans so I could prove I'm not just makin' this stuff up.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Countdown to Halloween: Jack Kirby's Monsters! Night Eleven: God Loves, Monster Gor-Kills

Gor-Kill! You know he's a monster who's bad, bad news, because he has two terrible words — "gore" and "kill" — in his name. It's sort of like "Slaughter-Wrecker" or "Deathblood" or "Carnage-Trump."

Cover of Tales of Suspense #12 (November 1960), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by George Klein, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek

Ever notice how lots of the titles of Marvel Monster-era stories are direct claims to fame? "I Created the Colossus!" "I Am the Living Ghost!" "I Created...Sporr! The Thing That Could Not Die!" "Only I Know When the World Will End!!!" Yeah, yeah, yeah, Stan...just like modern times, even back in the Atlas Age it's all about you. I bet you're gonna tell us next that you alone know the dread secret of Gor-Kill, the living demon, huh?

Splash page from "I Alone Know the Dread Secret of Gor-Kill, the Living Demon!" in Tales of Suspense #12 (November 1960), plot by Stan Lee (?), script by Larry Lieber (?), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek

I'm probably not spoiling anything by telling you that "dread secret" is actually pretty darn obvious: Gor-Kill is made of water. And not that artisanal, three-bucks-a-bottle water: he's made out of good old-fashioned natural crystal-clear mountain stream water. Yes, long before the backlash against the ecological damage bottle water does to our world, Gor-Kill was kickin' it old school!

Frankly, I don't know why he wasn't just called "Hy-Dro," or "Ahh-Kwaa," or "Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens." What I do know is that he's terrifying this tiny Balkan village where the streets are paved with gold and people climb up on rooftops just for the heck of it. Awooooo, spooky water monster came from the sea or from the dam! But they don't realize he's made of water. Stupid peasants! Dr. Frankenstein was right, you all deserve to die!

How do you fight a water monster? Well, your attack plans have to be fluid arghhhh no I'm sorry for that one

The entire membership of The Guys with Unusual Ties bands up to battle Gor-Kill! Even Ramon, the guy who didn't have a tie but who had a cool green and yellow shirt, so they let him in anyway.

Only one man in the entire village realizes the deadly, moist truth of Gor-Kill! Ah ha, so that's why the story is titled "I Alone Know the Dread Secret of Gor-Kill, the Living Demon!" Y'know, I think more wacky crackpot conspiracy theory books oughta be titled like Marvel Monster stories. "I Alone Know the Dread Secret of the Kennedy Assassination!" "I Alone Have Seen That Jet Fuel Cannot Melt Steel!" "I Alone Know That Vaccinations Cause Autism!" Oh, if only it were just you, Jenny McCarthy.

The severed talking heads of the village elders are immediately sent to scoff at the obvious solution! Although, to his credit, Professor Xavier looks merely vaguely skeptical.

Two days of continuous water attacks by Gor-Kill have battered the once peaceful community into helplessness! I think we can all agree that this was perhaps not the best time for ruler Victor von Doom to declare "Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job!"

So 'round about now you're thinkin' what I am: science ways to destroy Gor-Kill. Let's see: we could deoxidize him to redeuce him to separate hydrogen and oxygen molecules! Or, we could shoot big flamethrowers at him until he turns into steam and floats away! Or, we could reduce the pressure in a big jar so that he flows into it against his will!

Eh, heck with up. Let's jus' blow him up with dynamite.. Boom! It's a sure-fire method of destruction, because as we all know, booms have never created anything.

Twist ending? Well, sorta. Our narrator may have alone known the dread secret of Gor-Kill, the living demon, but nobody believes him, and he gets locked up in the hoosegow for improperly using the town's cache of dynamite that they were saving for, I dunno, the beginning of World War I, I guess. Insert your own Law and Order thunk-thunk! here:

Haw haw! It's funny because he's incarcerated!

Ten of a Kind: In Norway, "Lillemor" means "You're gonna die, kids."

According to the internet (without which life itself would be improbable), the average life expectancy in Norway is 81.45 years.

Not, however, according to these here Norwegian comics.

Well, yes: I do know these are Norwegian reprints of British comics. But hey, if you can’t poke fun at the Norwegians, who can you? What’re they gonna do...not let us see their famous movies like Kon-Tiki, Gurin with the Foxtail, and Arne Skouen's Nine Lives, or withhold their net exports of 884 billion dollars of petroleum resources, or not let us ride on their public transport system, which consists of 4,114 kilometres (2,556 mi) of standard gauge lines, of which 242 kilometres (150 mi) is double track and 64 kilometres (40 mi) high-speed rail (210 km/h) while 62% is electrified at 15 kV 16 2⁄3 Hz AC? I think not.

Have fun livin' in Norway, kids! You’re gonna die.

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

365 Days of Star Wars Comics, Day 284: Where's Waldo in the Star Wars Universe?

Two-page spread from Star Wars: Rebellion #1 (April 2006); script by Rob Williams, pencils and inks by Brandon Badeaux, colors by Wil Glass, letters by Michael Heisler
(Click picture to minor skirmish-size)