366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 289: Exit, Stage Left!

Panels from Amazing Spider-Man Annual (1964 series) #10 (1976), co-plot by Len Wein, co-plot and script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Gil Kane, inks: by Frank Giacoia and Mike Esposito, colors by Petra Goldberg, letters by John Costanza

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 288: I'm snapping off the lamppost at the corner of the street / In case a certain little lady comes by

Panels from "J. Jonah Jameson" in Civil War II: Choosing Sides #3 (September 2016), script by Derek Landy, pencils and inks by Filipe Andrade, colors by Miroslav Mrva, letters by Clayton Cowles
Never any reason to snap a lamppost? Aw, man, is Ben Grimm gonna be disappointed.


Panels from "J. Jonah Jameson" in Fantastic Four (1961 series) #18 (November 1962), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers, letters by Artie Simek

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 287: Water revoltin' development this is

The thrilling saga of how the Kingpin locked Spider-Man and Jonah Jameson in his leaky basement!


Cover of Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #52 (September 1967), pencils and inks by John Romita, Sr., colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Sam Rosen
Yes, the Kingpin (of all Crime) had indeed captured Spidey and JJJ and put them in a death trap (if not a suicide rap), but if you've read any Spider-Man comics (and I'm pretty sure guessing that by this point you have), then you know that to Spider-Man, Watery Graves is simply the name of Lex Luthor's bodyguard's sister.


Panels from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #52 (September 1967), script by Stan Lee, pencils by John Romita, Sr., inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Sam Rosen
Spider-Man! Spider-Man! He's the guy with a spider-plan! Sling some webs, through the water! This way he / avoids slaughter! Look out! He's the waterproof Spider-Man!


Jonah has apparently never learned how to swim, so Spidey makes one of those big inflatable sumo wrestler bubbles for them to ride out the waves safely. Man, Romita draws good water, doesn't he? That's either making me thirsty or have to pee. Hold on, I'll be back in a couple minutes.


The Moist Marauders Marvel Team-Up keads them into the underground passages of the Kingpin's elaborate office complex, which also contains a T.G.I.Friday's and one of those "Phantom of Broadway" cheap-ass souvenir gift shops. Laos, there is a Starbucks in the lobby, on the eighteenth floor, and inside the Kingpin's office. Also, there is another Starbuck's inside that one.


At last, Jameson escapes while SPidey holds off the hordes of bad hombres! Run, Jonah, run!...oh geez, he just pulled a Scotty in Star Trek V move. That's gonna leave a mark.


Jameson wakes up later in a shower where Bobby Ewing is still alive in the dank cellarway, at last safe from the stampeding Kingpin and his henchmen the Kingtwins, although it's clear he can't tell the sensation of water on his head. Thus we conclude, J. Jonah Jameson has never washed his hair.

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 286: Not plane nor bird nor even frog

Panels from Top Dog #10 (October 1986); script by George Caragonne; pencils by Warren Kremer; Peter Parker and J. Jonah Jameson figure pencils by John Romita, Sr.; inks by Jon d'Agostino; colors by George Roussos; letters by Grace Kremer

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 285: J. Jonah Jameson fires more employees before nine AM than you do all day

Panels from Tangled Web: The Thousand #1 (June 2001), script by Garth Ennis, pencils by John McCrea, inks by James Hodgkins, colors by Steve Buccellato, letters by Richard Starkings

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 284: My baloney has a first name / It's J-O-N-A-H

Panels from Marvels: Eye of the Camera #2 (February 2009), script by Kurt Busiek, pencils by Jay Anacleto, colors by Brian Haberlin, letters by Richard Starkings

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 283: C'mon Get Happy

Panels from Spider-Man: Chapter One #12 (October 1999); script, pencils, and letters by John Byrne; inks by Al Milgrom; colors by Joe Rosas