Bully Says: Comics Oughta Be Fun!

Saturday, December 24, 2022

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Just where does Krampus get all those wonderful toys

'Is it evil bubble wrap, Doctor?' 'What? No, don't be glib. That would be silly.'

from Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor Holiday Special #2 (Titan, January 2020), script by Jody Houser, pencils and inks by Roberta Ingranata, colors by Enrica Angiolini, flats by Shari Chankhamma, letters by Sarah Hedrick and Richard Starkings

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: All I Want for Christmas Is a Dye Job Like Movie Rogue's

'Peter, was that another one of your friends from that weird mutant sex island?'

from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #420 (Marvel, February 1997), script by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Steve Skroce, inks by Bud LaRosa, colors by Bob Sharen, color separations by Graphic Color Works, letters by Richard Starkings

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Sherwood Schwartz hurriedly phones his lawyer

What'sa matter, Michelinie, was the satire getting too *broad* or something?

from Amazing Spider-Man #314 (April 1989), script by David Michelinie, pencils and inks by Todd McFarlane, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Rick Parker

Today in Comics History, December 24, 1968, Christmas Eve: Best trash talk in any universe

'You got your Doctor Doom on my Galactus!' 'Well, you got your Galactus on my Doctor Doom!' '...' '...' 'AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!'

from "Moon Squirrel and Tippysaur" in Infinity Wars: Infinity Warps #1 (Marvel, January 2019), script by Ryan North, pencils and inks by Natacha Bustos, colors by Tamra Bonvillain, letters by Cory Petit

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Elf with a Gun? Izzat you, you crazy nut? What're you doin' over here at DC, ya big goofball?

Boy, I sure hope Santa's bringing me a better scanner.

from Freedom Fighters (1976 series) #7 (DC, May 1977), script by Bob Rozakis, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Jack Abel, letters by Ben Oda

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Your Friendly Neighborhoodless Spider-Man

'Anyway, we can't go to Aunt May's now; it's her Tupperware party night.'

from Amazing Spider-Man #314 (Marvel, April 1989), script by David Michelinie, pencils and inks by Todd McFarlane, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Rick Parker

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: I'll be home (multiple times) for Christmas

Frankly I would have picked Gambit to be the sort to give framed photos of himself as gifts, but no, that schtick's already been taken in the X-Mansion.

from "The Gift of the Madri" in Merry X-Men Holiday Special #1 one-shot (Marvel, February 2019), script by Matthew Rosenberg, pencils and inks by Andy MacDonald, colors by Tamra Bonvillain, letters by Travis Lanham
Whoa, how's Madrox gonna get out of this one?

Today in Comic History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Oh no, you're not going out undressed like that on Christmas Eve, young lady

Hey look! She joined the X-Men! Got the official belt buckle and everything.

from "The Cat Who Stole Christmas" in Spider-Man Holiday Special 1995 one-shot (Marvel, 1995), script by Karl Bollers, pencils by Chris Gardner, inks by Steve Montano, colors by Joe Andreani, letters by Dave Sharpe

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Deck the Halls with Boughs and Harley

'I don't. Too many fonts, poor choice of colors...I'll have Alfred send her the 'Design is my passion' gif.'

What, she rented out an ICE RINK or something?

'Be sure ta watch me on my HBO/MAX animated series an'...OH FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD.'

from Batman: The Adventures Continue #8 (DC, March 2021), script by Alan Burnett and Paul Dini, pencils and inks by Ty Templeton, colors by Monica Kubina, letters by AndWorld Design
SWEATER

Lookin' FINE, King!

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Catwoman wastes her time

Hey, she's GOOD: between panel 1 and 2, Selina stole that persian carpet!

from Batman: Dark Victory #3 (DC, February 2000), script by Jeph Loeb, pencils and inks by Tim Sale, colors by Gregory Wright, color separations by Heroic Age, letters by Richard Starkings

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Hah! I bet that bench he's sitting on is totally Plastic MaHOLY COW I WAS RIGHT FOR ONCE

Are Plastic Man's whiskers just little rubber band nubs? Can you stretch them and they snap back onto his face? Inquiring minds want to know.

from "Christmas by Gaslight" in DC's Very Merry Multiverse #1 one-shot (DC, February 2021), script by John Layman, pencils and inks by Dani, colors by Mike Spicer, letters by Aditya Bidikar

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Jingle Belle! She's the Harley Quinn that Paul Dini can say he owns!

Oh c'mon, I find this whole story unbeleievable. Santa Claus once having SEX?!? I don't think so!

'No. You only get the broken toothless doll with the French-style green beans for hair.'

from Jingle Belle: The Homemades' Tale one-shot (IDW, November 2018); script by Paul Dini; pencils, inks, and colors by Nicoletta Baldari; letters by Shawn Lee

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: The gigantic ghost head of Bruce Wayne of Earth-2 watches out over his daughter and Bruce Wayne of Earth-1. Look, it's a Pre-Crisis story; I don't make these up.

'Earth-1 Dad, what are our ropes attached to?' 'Surely that's obvious, Earth-2 Helena: they're attached to the gigantic ghost head of your dad from Earth-2.'

from The Brave and the Bold (1955 series) #184 (DC, March 1982); script by Mike W. Barr; pencils, inks, and letters by Jim Aparo, colors by Adrienne Roy

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Deathstroke the Marinater

He killed that turkey himself after stalking it for two weeks and then assassinating it in the French Presidnet's motorcade.

from Deathstroke (2016 series) #50 (February 2020); script by Christopher Priest; pencils by Carlo Pagulayan and Fernando Pasarin; inks by Jason Paz, Oclair Albert, Norm Rapmund, and Danny Miki; colors by Jeromy Cox; letters by Willie Schubert

Today in Comics History, December 24, 1925, Christmas Eve: The John Logie Baird Christmas Special is brought to you by Rheostats! Rheostats! Have you spent your last two shillings on them yet?

'Eureka! I've invented the Electric Orphan Machine!'

from "The Twist of a Dial" in Real Fact Comics #12 (DC, January 1948), script by Jack Schiff, Mort Weisinger, and/or Bernard Breslauer; pencils and inks by Win Mortimer

Today in Comics History, December 24, 1940 and 1941, Christmas Eve: Exactly what it says on the tin

'Ho ho ho! This year I'm giving everyone gas masks!'

from Santa Claus vs. the Nazis (Markosia Publishing, November 2016), script by Benjamin Dickson, pencils and inks by Gavin Mitchell, colors by Miroslav Mrva and Owen Watts, letters by Benjamin Dickson
So that was Christmas Eve, 1940. But I know what you really want to see, right?:

It was a bad idea to imprison Santa in a circle of magic, but good thing his captor's son accidentally ran his wheelchair over the line.

It was a bad idea to imprison Santa in a circle of magic, but good thing his captor's son accidentally ran his wheelchair over the line.

'I mean, the worst. Really, absolutely terrible. Veruca Salt is a saint, comparatively.'

So, this Christmas, peace on Earth, and good well to all men.

EXCEPT FOR NAZIS. KILL NAZIS. It's Santa Claus-approved!

'Oh, you just missed the man with the fez. Gave us some robot tanks.'

'Oh, you just missed the man with the fez. Gave us some robot tanks.'

Merry Christmas!

Today in Comics History, December 24, 1947, Christmas Eve: Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free

'Are there no psychiatric wards?' asked Mayor Adams. 'Plenty of them,' said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.

'And Ryker's Island?' demanded Adams. 'Is it still in operation?' 'It is. Still,' returned the gentleman, 'I wish I could say it were not.'

'Many can't go there; and many would rather die.'

'If they would rather die,' said Adams, 'they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.'

from "The Christmas Spirit of 1947: Joy" in The Spirit Section (Register and Tribune Syndicate, December 21, 1947); script, pencils, and inks by Will Eisner; additional inks by Jerry Grandenetti; letters by Abe Kanegson; reprinted in black-and-white in The Spirit #25 (Kitchen Sink, November 1986)

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: World's Greatest Detective tears off two calendar pages at once

'Maybe I shouldn't have handed out all those millions of dollars in 'Batman Fun Bucks'.'

from Batman #285 (DC, March 1977), script by David Vern, pencils by Romeo Tanghal, inks by Frank Springer

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: World's Greatest Detective finally finds Toyman's secret hideout

from Batman: Gotham Nights (2020 digital series) #22 (DC, December 2020), script by Mark Russell, pencils and inks by Scott Koblish, colors by Nick Filardi, letters by Troy Peteri

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: The best Batman celebrates the holidays appropriately

from Batman: The Brave and the Bold #12 (DC, February 2010), script by Landry Q. Walker, pencils and inks by Eric Jones, colors by Heroic Age, letters by Rob Clark

Today in Comics History, December 24, 1963: Christmas Eve: The Christmas Santa Brought Everyone the Same Face

from Quantum Leap #3 (Innovation, March 1992), script by John Holland, art by Andy Price, colors by Scott Rockwell, color assist by Chris Ballard, letters by Vickie Williams

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: "Her?"

'What you do in your own time, Alfred, is none of my concern.'

from Batman #285 (DC, March 1977), script by David Vern, pencils by Romeo Tanghal, inks by Frank Springer

Today in Comics History, December 24, 1941, Christmas Eve: FDR promises America one thing: Hawkeye ain't gettin' anywhere near this tree

'Walkin' down the street! Gettin' the funniest looks from everybody they meet!'

Once again, that title was a whole lot funnier when everyone had just seen and hadn't completely forgotten the HAWKEYE Disney+ show.

from All-Star Squadron #7 (DC, March 1982), script by Roy Thomas, pencils by Adrian Gonzales, inks by Jerry Ordway, colors by Carl Gafford, letters by John Costanza

The Eight Nights of Comic Book Hanukkah, Night Seven: In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night

Say, here's a question for the holidays: is Hal Jordan/Green Lantern Jewish?

'And Happy Kwanzaa to you, Batman!'

from "[An Old-Fashioned Christmas]" in Christmas with the Super-Heroes #2 (DC, December 1989), script by William Francis Messner-Loebs, pencils by Colleen Doran, inks by Ty Templeton, colors by Glenn Whitmore, letters by Albert De Guzman
Well, at least (recently and canonically), yes! Hal Jordan's mother was Jewish, which makes him Jewish, although he was raised Catholic.

'That will be ten Hail Marys and five Hava Nagilas, my son.'

'That will be ten Hail Marys and five Hava Nagilas, my son.'

from Justice League: The Darkseid War: Green Lantern #1 one-shot (DC, January 2016), script by Tom King, pencils and inks by Doc Shaner, colors by Chris Sotomayor, letters by Tom Napolitano
Yes, I know, I'm as surprised as you are that the hero I thought was a Super-W.A.S.P. is one of God's Chosen People. But it goes a long way towards explaining this cool Hanukkah story starring the Emerald Embessador, in which GL, not for nisht, says "hei!" and kicks an enemy on an alien kanga in the shin and then mutters "nun evil shall escape my sight." Yes, folks, it's all dreidel puns all the way down, all by a non-kosher little stuffed bull.

That's a case of GELTing the lily.

from Green Lantern: The Animated Series #8 (DC, January 2013), script by Ivan Cohen, pencils and inks by Luciano Vecchio, colors by Franco Riesco, letters by Saida Temofonte

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: You're a mean one, Mr. Fisk

In Hell's Kitchen, all the office buildings are exploding.

'But first I have to buy this kid a better winter hat than a collender.'

It's the Wilson Fisk All-Nude Christmas Holiday Spectacular!

'I shall return to Sontar as the avenging hero. My name shall be purged of the shame of defeat. It will echo through the Halls of the Fallen and the Brave. Sontar-ha!'

from Daredevil (1964 series) #253 (Marvel, April 1988), script by Ann Nocenti, pencils by John Romita, Jr., inks by Al Williamson, colors by Christie Scheele, letters by Joe Rosen
Still, I bet Christmas Day makes even him happy and cheerf...oh.

Still, where you even gonna BUY a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole?

Still, where you even gonna BUY a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole?

cover of Daredevil #253; pencils by John Romita Jr., inks by Al Williamson