The Eight Nights of Comic Book Hanukkah, Night Seven: In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night

Say, here's a question for the holidays: is Hal Jordan/Green Lantern Jewish?


from "[An Old-Fashioned Christmas]" in Christmas with the Super-Heroes #2 (DC, December 1989), script by William Francis Messner-Loebs, pencils by Colleen Doran, inks by Ty Templeton, colors by Glenn Whitmore, letters by Albert De Guzman
Well, at least (recently and canonically), yes! Hal Jordan's mother was Jewish, which makes him Jewish, although he was raised Catholic.


from Justice League: The Darkseid War: Green Lantern #1 one-shot (DC, January 2016), script by Tom King, pencils and inks by Doc Shaner, colors by Chris Sotomayor, letters by Tom Napolitano
Yes, I know, I'm as surprised as you are that the hero I thought was a Super-W.A.S.P. is one of God's Chosen People. But it goes a long way towards explaining this cool Hanukkah story starring the Emerald Embessador, in which GL, not for nisht, says "hei!" and kicks an enemy on an alien kanga in the shin and then mutters "nun evil shall escape my sight." Yes, folks, it's all dreidel puns all the way down, all by a non-kosher little stuffed bull.


from Green Lantern: The Animated Series #8 (DC, January 2013), script by Ivan Cohen, pencils and inks by Luciano Vecchio, colors by Franco Riesco, letters by Saida Temofonte

There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 21: Bruce wanted to be...a lumberjack

from Justice League (2018 series) #52 (November 2020), script by Jeff Loveness, pencils by Robson Rocha, inks by Daniel Henriques, colors by Rómulo Fajardo, Jr., letters by Tom Napolitano

Today in Comics History, March 10, 2010: Alpha Flight's Sasquatch visits the DC Universe

from Justice League: The Rise & Fall Special one-shot (DC, May 2010), script by J.T. Krul, pencils and inks by Mike Mayhew, colors by Andy Troy, designed by Steve Wands

365 Days of Defiance, Day 222: The Justice League versus Nazis

from "The Savage Time" on Justice League (November 9, 2002), script by Stan Berkowitz, directed by Butch Lukic and Dan Riba

Stuff Bully Got Wanted: Sweet dreams, suckers

A Month of... There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 7: I'll save you, Mom and Dad!...whoops.

Panels from Justice League: Darkseid War: Batman one-shot (December 2015); script by Peter J. Tomasi, pencils by Fernando Pasarin, inks by Matt Ryan, colors by Gabe Eltaeb, letters by Dave Sharpe

Today in Comics History, February 12, 1980: Exploding driver's license seriously injuresMister Miracle

from Justice League (2011 series) #41 (DC, August 2015), script by Geoff Johns, pencils and inks by Jason Fabok, colors by Brad Anderson, letters by Rob Leigh

There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 21

Panel from Justice League (2011 series) #11 (September 2012), script by Geoff Johns, pencils by Jim Lee, inks by Scott Williams and Jonathan Glapion, colors by Alex Sinclair and Gabe Eltaeb, letters by Pat Brosseau

Okay, this made me laugh.

A scene from this month's Red Lanterns Annual:


Panels from Red Lanterns Annual #1 (September 2014), script by Charles Soule, pencils and inks by Miguel Sepulveda, colors by Chris Sotomayor, letters by Dezi Sienty and Taylor Esposito
I will quibble with the fact that this annual continues a story from the regular Red Lanterns series, and is "To Be Continued" in the next issue. (Whatever happened to those done-in-one annuals we had before all the universes re-aligned? Ah well, at least it's not all-reprints.) But I LLOL'd (literally laughed out loud) at the final panel here, which plays on one of the most (in)famous sequences of the early "bwah-ha-ha" Justice League of the...good gravy, has it been that long?...late-eighties, as well as working in a gag that it could only happen in another universe.

If you missed it the first time, or, hey, if you're like me and just wanna see it again, here it is!



Panels from Justice League (1987 series) #5 (September 1987), script by Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis, pencils by Kevin Maguire, inks by Al Gordon, colors by Gene D'Angelo, letterers by Bob Lappan
It's always good to see Guy Gardner again, although I don't know who glued G'Nort to his face.

There Is No Hope in Crime Alley, Night 20

Pages from Justice League (2011 series) #25 (January 2014); script by Geoff Johns; pencils by Doug Mahnke; inks by Christian Alamy, Mark Irwin, Keith Champagne, and Doug Mahnke; colors by Gabe Eltaeb, Tony Avina, and Rod Reis; letters by Nick J. Napolitano

365 Days of DC House Ads, Day 360: The Human (and Kryptonian, and Martian, and Amazonian, and Atlantean, and Apokoliptan) League

House ad for The Brave and the Bold #28 [Justice League of America] (February-March 1960); printed in Batman #129 (February 1960); comic cover art: pencils by Mike Sekowsky, inks by Murphy Anderson, colors by Jack Adler (?), letters by Ira Schnapp; ad designed and lettered by Ira Schnapp


House ad for Justice League (1987 series) #1 (May 1987); printed in Batman #406 (April 1987); ad art from the cover of Justice League #1: pencils by Kevin Maguire, inks by Terry Austin


House ad for JLA (1997 series); printed in Superman Adventures #6 (April 1997); ad art: pencils by Howard Porter, inks by John Dell

Today in Comics History: Alpha Flight's Sasquatch gets to visit the DC Universe

Page from Justice League: The Rise & Fall Special (May 2010), script by J. T. Krul, pencils and inks by Mike Mayhew, colors by Andy Troy, designed by Steve Wands

Am I the only one who hears the screams and the strangled cries of heroes in love?

Supes and Wondy! Sittin' in a tree the air! K-I-S-S-I-N...well, R, I guess then.


Cover of Justice League v.2 #12 (October 2012); pencils by Jim Lee; inks by Scott WIlliams; colors by Alex Sinclair
Let's trace the history of this super-couple (I call them Cliana), not as we usually do via TMZ and Screw Up Your Life People magazine, but by looking at their various romantic antics (I call them romantantics) going backwards in time from today to before the Crisis. Okay? Okay. Get your timesuits and and let's check in on...the New 52! (It's corny, but I call it maize.)



Panels from Justice League v.2 #12 (October 2012), script by Geoff Johns; pencils by Jim Lee; letters by Patrick Brosseau; inks by one or more of the following (inhale): Scott Williams, Sandra Hope, Jonathan Glapion, Mark Irwin, Matt Banning, Rob Hunter, Joe Weems, Alex Garner, and Trevor Scott; colors by some assortment of these people: Alex Sinclair, Gabe Eltaeb, Tony Avina, Sonia Oback and/or Alex Sinclair. Gosh, you don't think Jim Lee could have fallen behind on his pencils and in a rush to keep the book on schedule DC farmed it out to multiple inkers and colors? Nawwwwwwww.
Ewwwwwwww. This is too mushy for this little stuffed bull. Let's go back in time to the late eighties, when Kim Wilde ruled America with her iron fist, and immense, giant hairstyles stalked the land, and peek into Diana and Kal (I call them Di-al) playin' kissy-face in the Post-Crisis DC Universe!



Panels from Action Comics v.1 #600 (May 1988), script and breakdowns by John Byrne, finishes and inks by George Perez, colors by Tom Ziuko, letters by John Costanza
More mushy stuff! What, is this comic made of oatmeal? (Mmmmm...delicious, sugary oatmeal.) Luckily, by the end of the comic book Superman and Wonder Woman decide to just be good friends. Hooray! let's all cheer platonic superhero relationships!


And finally, here on good old Earth-1, we see Superman and Wonder Woman (I call them Superman and Wonder Woman) deciding to not have a love affair. And deciding it with a gosh darn it!


Panels from World's Finest Comics #204 (August 1971), Script: script by Denny O'Neil, pencils by Dick Dillin, inks by Joe Giella
So, you make up your own mind: which version of the Supes/Wondy-mance do you prefer? Me? I'm a li'l old-fashioned, sure, but I take my Clark the way I take my coffee: with a heaping tablespoon of Lois Lane. After all, as Carly Simon once said to me, that's the way I've always heard it should be. Isn't that right, Superman?

Today in Comics History, September 14: Guy Gardner's health insurance runs out

from JLA: Classified #6 (DC, June 2005), script by Keith Giffen and J. M. DeMatteis, pencils by Kevin Maguire, inks by Joe Rubinstein, colors by David Baron, letters by Bob Lappan

Take a look at that poor little empty spot on my third finger

Now, as we all remember, Batman is very good about taking Green Lantern rings away from...well, Green Lanterns. He's got an entire display case of them in the Batcave, and he puts ten of them on when he wants to really get his point across with the Riddler or Clayface. We've seen the Dark knight take a power ring away from Hal Jordan:


Panels from Justice League v.2 #1 (November 2011), script by Geoff Johns, pencils by Jim Lee, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Alex Sinclair, letters by Patrick Brosseau

He's grabbed one off the tightly clenched yet silky soft knuckle of Kyle Rayner:


Panel from The Batman Chronicles #15 (Winter 1998), script by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Bill Sienkiewicz, colors by Rob Schwager, letters by Ken Lopez

He even stole my Green Lantern ring! Boo! Bad Batman! Sniffle!



So, I believe my point has been made: Batman is very very good at stealing Green Lantern rings. (And he probably even has a red one too, possibly with a severed finger inside it.) But the question we must ask...really, it must be asked...is "Can anybody and everybody just grab a Green Lantern ring whenever the heck they want?

And the answer is, yeah, probably yes they can.

Of course, Superman can do it...especially Comrade Russkie "What If Superman's Rocket Landed in the USSR?" Red Son Superman:


Panels from Superman: Red Son #3 (August 2003), script by Mark Millar, pencils by Kilian Plunkett, inks by Walden Wong, colors by Paul Mounts, letters by Ken Lopez

Sure, but he's Superman. He's the Man of Steel! (Oh wait, no, that was Josef Stalin.) But how about if somebody else tries to take a Green Lantern ring away from the greatest Green Lantern of them all (no, no, not G'nort!)? How about if it's Apokalyps's top press agent...Glorious Godfrey?


Panels from Adventures in the DC Universe #4 (July 1997), script by Steve Vance, pencils by John Delaney, inks by Ron Boyd, colors by Tim Harkins, letters by Bob Le Rose

Well, sure, he's Glorious Godfrey. He's a minion of Robert B. Darkseid. Now, does that mean that just around anybody can take a Green Lantern ring, even from the toughest of their warriors, Guy Gardner?



Panels from Justice League Quarterly #5 (Winter 1991), script by Mark Waid, pencils by Mike McKone, inks by Andrew Pepoy, colors by Gene D'Angelo, letters by Bob Pinaha

Yep! Yes, she can. So, the moral of the story? If you have a Green Lantern ring...it's probably best left in your safety deposit box.

366 Days with Alfred Pennyworth, Day 16

Via the miracle of email, pal "Mighty" Mike Sterling asked me

Would you like a screenshot from the Justice League cartoon featuring Alfred about to go mano-a-hawko with a Thanagarian?

HECK YES!


Screen shot from Justice League, "Starcrossed, Part 3," written by Rich Fogel & Dwayne McDuffie, directed by Butch Lukic), original air date May 29, 2004

Thanks, Mike! (Now I gotta find a panel of Swamp Thing and Alfred palling around together...)

With This Ring, I Thee PWN

Batman's great, but stealing the power ring off the finger of a Green Lantern without him even noticing it? I call shenanigans.


Panels from Justice League America v.2 #1 (October 2011), script by Geoff Johns, pencils by Jim Lee, inks by Scott Williams, colors by Alex Sinclair, letters by Patrick Brosseau

Uh huh. Yep. (He said, dismissively.) This out-of-character nonsense from the New 52niverse is a poor plot device that, let's face it, wouldn't have happened under the "old guard." Before the events of Infinite Crisis Final Crisis Flashpoint, you'd never catch a GL getting de-ringed by the Dark Knight! Not in a bajillion years.




Panels from The Batman Chronicles #15 (Winter 1998), script by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Bill Sienkiewicz, colors by Rob Schwager, letters by Ken Lopez

Oh. Um. Okay. Well...

Never mind.

The New DC: There's No Stopping Us Now (from taking your toys.)

The Unsettling Slang of Mister Clint Barton, Part 6

Panel segments from Avengers/JLA #4 (March 2004),
written by Kurt Busiek, art by George Perez and Tom Smith, letters by Comiccraft

Ol' Hawkeye's words are fading out not because of poor scanner skills, but rather because he's being pulled back to his own comfy universe following the defeat of Krona. Just in time, too...I think there was a spatula reference coming up.

It only goes to prove...in any universe, Hawkeye's gonna say something that'll make you feel uncomfortable.

Separated at Birth: Here we are now, entertain us

L: Star Spangled Comics #50 (November 1945), art by Fred Ray
R: Justice League #1 (May 1987), art by Kevin Magure and Terry Austin
(Click picture to Justi-size)

See also. And. Plus. Don't forget this one. Or this one. And. Not to mention. Another one. Hmmm, I coulda made this Ten of a Kind, couldn't I 've?