Today in Comics History, April 30, 1945: Let's Kill Hitler

This is an expanded and updated version of a post originally published April 30, 2023.


Today in Comics History: it's Hitler's last day alive. And he's spending it with Baron Zemo? The guy who accidentally glued his mask to his head? Well, you do you, Hitler.


from Spider-Man: Fear Itself graphic novel (Marvel, February 1992), plot and co-script by Gerry Conway, co-script by Stan Lee, pencils by Ross Andru, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Rick Parker

Today in Comics History, Eorx 62, 9999: Time to buy a 10,000 Calendar at your local Krypt-Mart

Wait, today is Eorx 62? It feels like it's still Septober! Well, it really isn't, but where else am I gonna squeeze this "Today in Comics History" except at the very last day of the year?


from The Phantom Zone #1 (DC, January 1982), script by Steve Gerber, pencils by Gene Colan, inks by Tony DeZuniga, colors by Carl Gafford, letters by Milt Snapinn
But it probably isn't precise, so please mentally place Eorx 62 wherever you wish in the Gregorian Calendar! Superman would approve. Wouldn't you, Supes?


from Ambush Bug (1985 series) #3 (DC, August 1985), script by Robert Loren Fleming, plot and pencils by Keith Giffen, inks by Bob Oksner, colors by Anthony Tollin, letters by John Costanza

Am I the only one who hears the screams and the strangled cries of heroes in love?

Supes and Wondy! Sittin' in a tree the air! K-I-S-S-I-N...well, R, I guess then.


Cover of Justice League v.2 #12 (October 2012); pencils by Jim Lee; inks by Scott WIlliams; colors by Alex Sinclair
Let's trace the history of this super-couple (I call them Cliana), not as we usually do via TMZ and Screw Up Your Life People magazine, but by looking at their various romantic antics (I call them romantantics) going backwards in time from today to before the Crisis. Okay? Okay. Get your timesuits and and let's check in on...the New 52! (It's corny, but I call it maize.)



Panels from Justice League v.2 #12 (October 2012), script by Geoff Johns; pencils by Jim Lee; letters by Patrick Brosseau; inks by one or more of the following (inhale): Scott Williams, Sandra Hope, Jonathan Glapion, Mark Irwin, Matt Banning, Rob Hunter, Joe Weems, Alex Garner, and Trevor Scott; colors by some assortment of these people: Alex Sinclair, Gabe Eltaeb, Tony Avina, Sonia Oback and/or Alex Sinclair. Gosh, you don't think Jim Lee could have fallen behind on his pencils and in a rush to keep the book on schedule DC farmed it out to multiple inkers and colors? Nawwwwwwww.
Ewwwwwwww. This is too mushy for this little stuffed bull. Let's go back in time to the late eighties, when Kim Wilde ruled America with her iron fist, and immense, giant hairstyles stalked the land, and peek into Diana and Kal (I call them Di-al) playin' kissy-face in the Post-Crisis DC Universe!



Panels from Action Comics v.1 #600 (May 1988), script and breakdowns by John Byrne, finishes and inks by George Perez, colors by Tom Ziuko, letters by John Costanza
More mushy stuff! What, is this comic made of oatmeal? (Mmmmm...delicious, sugary oatmeal.) Luckily, by the end of the comic book Superman and Wonder Woman decide to just be good friends. Hooray! let's all cheer platonic superhero relationships!


And finally, here on good old Earth-1, we see Superman and Wonder Woman (I call them Superman and Wonder Woman) deciding to not have a love affair. And deciding it with a gosh darn it!


Panels from World's Finest Comics #204 (August 1971), Script: script by Denny O'Neil, pencils by Dick Dillin, inks by Joe Giella
So, you make up your own mind: which version of the Supes/Wondy-mance do you prefer? Me? I'm a li'l old-fashioned, sure, but I take my Clark the way I take my coffee: with a heaping tablespoon of Lois Lane. After all, as Carly Simon once said to me, that's the way I've always heard it should be. Isn't that right, Superman?

Now We Are Six

Excuse me while I toot my own horn here for a moment...

BLART BLOOT WAH WAH BLARRRRR

(looks in confusion into horn of trumpet a la Gonzo)

So, now that I've done that, how about a pop quiz: what cute 'n' fuzzy phenomenon debuted on the World Wide Web six years ago and has delighted billions through witty and clever banter and comedy ever since that day in 2005?

No, it's not YouTube. Sheesh. I have never been issued a cease and desist injunction by the owners of major movie, TV, and music studios! (Yet.)

In other words, it's time to wish myself a Happy Sixth Blogiversary! (You can too, if you wanna!) On this day in 2005, all those years ago, this little puppet-town cow-blog opened for business, and I've been delighted to invite you by for a cup of hot cocoa (with minimarshmallows) and a good giggle at a comic book or some other pop culture phenomenon. As we close our fiscal year and finish up the tax paperwork to send to the IRS (Internet Re-Blogging Service), shall we take our usual year-end survey of my favorite posts of May 26, 2010- May 25, 2011? Yes, let's!

• The 5,000 Hats of Jack Kirby: The Hats of Odin
• The Beautiful Covers of Bill Sienkiewicz
• Evil Bully shows you how all Archie comics could be porn
• Harley Quinn in 1967!
• If I Wrote Aquaman
• Commissioner Gordon is a Jerk!
• Business Cards of the Superheroes
• The Many Graves of Jean Gray
• Breaking Down the Population of Gotham City
• Your Guide to Empire State University
• Dial "H" for Hydra
• The Fads of Archie Comics
• Scott Pilgrim vs. the Hulk
• 15 Things You Never Knew About James Bond
• Thor walks across America...
• ...and does some surgery in the heartland.
• A History of the Image Inducer
• Gwen Stacy versus cupcakes
• Mary Jane Watson: Master of the Obvious
• Encyclopedia Bull, Bovine Detective
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About the Marvel Universe
• And perhaps my favorite post of the year, and maybe one you haven't seen (because it was on another blog: Bully and Shelly watch Gone with the Wind!

As always, thanks to each and every one of you for reading, commenting, linking and laffing at my posts. A extra-special salute of the hoof to my good pals The Bureau Chiefs who let me advise on and help out with the comedy publishing sensation of 2011, Write More Good, now available at all fine bookstores near you! (And a few nasty ones.) Buy one! Buy several! Buy one for the dog!

With even more thanks to Hank McCoy, the Warriors Three, and the Guy Freaking Out on the Cover of Action Comics #1, I'd like to wrap up this self-congratualatory post with a Special Blogiversary Six Ten of a Kind, celebrating Comics Oughta Be Fun's anniversary with a big celebration of the number six!























So, it's all over except for the eating of the ceremonial cupcakes. Enjoy yours, and be sure to come back next year when I'll maybe get a chance to feature this cover:



Until then, don't forget: Comics Oughta Be Fun! Isn't that right, Superman?

Batman Tells Another Joke

As we saw in a previous installment, Batman has no sense of comedy timing. Or...does he?


Panels from Detective Comics #780 (May 2003), script by Ed Brubaker, pencils by Tommy Castillo, inks by Wade Von Grawbadger, colors by Jason Wright, letters by Todd Klein

Ummmm...no, he doesn't.

On the other hand, every stand-up comic sometimes has a bad audience. What happens if Batman practices his stand-up routine on a guy who appreciates a good guffaw?


Panels from Detective Comics #781 (June 2003), script by Ed Brubaker, pencils by Tommy Castillo, inks by Wade Von Grawbadger, colors by Jason Wright, letters by Todd Klein

Ah, there you go! Batman was just playing to a tough audience. If you're ever attending Batman's comedy act in front of the brick wall down at the Chuckle Hut, make sure you laugh. You don't want to be that guy. Don't be...the Heckler!


Panel from The Heckler #2 (October 1992), co-plot and pencils by Keith Giffen; co-plot by Tom Bierbaum and Mary Bierbaum; inks by Malcolm Jones III, colors by Tom McCraw, letters by Bob Pinaha

So remember: Criminals are a cowardly, superstitious, and easily-amused lot.



Also, don't work blue. Isn't that right, Superman?

Johnny Storm is an insensitive boob!

Yes he is! After all, how else can you explain this:



...taking Spidey to the bridge where the love of his life died? Taaaac-ky, Mister Storm! You certainly deserve it when Spider-Man lets you have it with both barrels:


Zing! Right between the eyes! You got him there, Pete! Now, go in for the subtle but sophisticated bon mot that will leave Johnny squirming...


...wha...WHOA, SPIDEY! That's going a little bit too far! Ouch!

No wonder Spider-Man wound up like this:


And that's why, when you're trading insults with your friends...try to stay off the comments about infant death, okay? Isn't that right, Superman?


Spider-Man panels are from 1) Marvel Team-Up #1; 2 & 3) Marvel Team-Up #147; 4) Amazing Spider-Man #261

Tuesday Nighty Tighty-Whities: Tony Stark in His Underwear, Part 2

As you may remember from last week, Tuesday nights are Underwear Nights here at Comics Oughta Be Fun!, and once again let's peek in through the blinds at the Marky Mark of the Marvel Universe, Tony Stark!:


Panels from What If? v.2 #8 (Mid-December 1989), script by Danny Fingeroth, pencils by Greg Capullo, inks by Ian Akin and Brian Garvey, colors by Tom Vincent, letters by Richard Starkings

In this week's look at Tony's monogrammed Fruit-of-the-Looms, he's been kidnapped by his evil nemesis Justin Hammer, heir to the worldwide baking soda fortune. Hammer wants to "take a closer look" at Tony. I'll say he does! Tony's forced to remove his Iron Man armor and shove it down the laundry chute. Bet it clatters and makes a heck of a noise all the way down! Hope those pesky Li'l Rascals aren't climbing up from the other direction, huh?

Tony is so upset to be sitting around in his Y-fronts, sweat socks and brainwashing electronic collar (sold in a set at Target), that he tips over his eggs, bacon, beans and chip breakfast. Watch out, Tony, that's the good china...oh, we can't have nice things.



Of course, you know the rest: eventually Tony escapes, probably by wooing one of Hammer's female assistants (seriously, James Bond has got nuthin' on Mister S.) and flies away to safety and refuge in...um, a dirty city alley. Where he instantly strips back down to his undies once again:



What th--?? Y'know, I'm beginnin' to think...could this mean...well, it's almost as if Tony likes running around in his underwear...?

There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight

Hey, kids, it's time for another exciting

Please pick up your pencils, protractors, and lead bibs and prepare for the quiz. You have a total time period of a half-life lasting 4.5 billion years to complete the questions.

QUESTION: Willowy, worried Tony Stark is testing a nuclear bomb in the parking lot of the Long Island branch of Stark Industries, but...a superfluous and stray superhero soars southerly, flying overhead mere moments before the detonation.

Assuming a rocketing velocity of 210 mph from ground to the level of the stray superhero, and taking into account an easterly wind of 15 knots, and also that Tony Stark has had two shots of bourbon with his Wheaties this morning, how long will it take Iron Man to reach and warn away The Angel (appearing by kind permission of "X-Men Magazine")?


Whoops. Well, that'll happen.

Let's try another question. Upon being exposed to point blank high-atomic radiation and severe intense fallout, a human being will:

A: Gain the ability to climb up walls and shoot silken strands out of his posterior?

B: Achieve fantastic dexterity and gymnastic abilities, heightened senses beyond those of normal men, and oh yeah, go blind?



C: gain thousands of pounds of muscle mass in minutes, turning yourself grey, green, grey again, green yet again, then maybe red for some weird reason?



No, no, I'm afraid the answer is D: Become evil.

Wha...wait just a doggone minute! Become evil?!?




So, remember: That's D: Become evil:


Never fear, mutant-maniacs, by the end of the story Warren Worthington's all cured and his lovable, feathery self, going right back to hitting on the girlfriend of his best pal and flaunting his inherited money in front of his classmates.

Well, there you go, science fans. Radiation: it does a body good. Well, more to the point, it doesn't really do a body any harm. So, be like famous science guy Reed Richards: immerse yourself in radiation every day!



And above all, always remember:
RADIOACTIVITY: IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S ROCKET SCIENCE OR ANYTHING.