Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Am I the only one who hears the screams and the strangled cries of heroes in love?

Supes and Wondy! Sittin' in a tree the air! K-I-S-S-I-N...well, R, I guess then.


Cover of Justice League v.2 #12 (October 2012); pencils by Jim Lee; inks by Scott WIlliams; colors by Alex Sinclair

Let's trace the history of this super-couple (I call them Cliana), not as we usually do via TMZ and Screw Up Your Life People magazine, but by looking at their various romantic antics (I call them romantantics) going backwards in time from today to before the Crisis. Okay? Okay. Get your timesuits and and let's check in on...the New 52! (It's corny, but I call it maize.)



Panels from Justice League v.2 #12 (October 2012), script by Geoff Johns; pencils by Jim Lee; letters by Patrick Brosseau; inks by one or more of the following (inhale): Scott Williams, Sandra Hope, Jonathan Glapion, Mark Irwin, Matt Banning, Rob Hunter, Joe Weems, Alex Garner, and Trevor Scott; colors by some assortment of these people: Alex Sinclair, Gabe Eltaeb, Tony Avina, Sonia Oback and/or Alex Sinclair. Gosh, you don't think Jim Lee could have fallen behind on his pencils and in a rush to keep the book on schedule DC farmed it out to multiple inkers and colors? Nawwwwwwww.

Ewwwwwwww. This is too mushy for this little stuffed bull. Let's go back in time to the late eighties, when Kim Wilde ruled America with her iron fist, and immense, giant hairstyles stalked the land, and peek into Diana and Kal (I call them Di-al) playin' kissy-face in the Post-Crisis DC Universe!



Panels from Action Comics v.1 #600 (May 1988), script and breakdowns by John Byrne, finishes and inks by George Perez, colors by Tom Ziuko, letters by John Costanza

More mushy stuff! What, is this comic made of oatmeal? (Mmmmm...delicious, sugary oatmeal.) Luckily, by the end of the comic book Superman and Wonder Woman decide to just be good friends. Hooray! let's all cheer platonic superhero relationships!


And finally, here on good old Earth-1, we see Superman and Wonder Woman (I call them Superman and Wonder Woman) deciding to not have a love affair. And deciding it with a gosh darn it!


Panels from World's Finest Comics #204 (August 1971), Script: script by Denny O'Neil, pencils by Dick Dillin, inks by Joe Giella

So, you make up your own mind: which version of the Supes/Wondy-mance do you prefer? Me? I'm a li'l old-fashioned, sure, but I take my Clark the way I take my coffee: with a heaping tablespoon of Lois Lane. After all, as Carly Simon once said to me, that's the way I've always heard it should be. Isn't that right, Superman?


2 comments:

SallyP said...

Lois, Lois, Lois.

Jon Jermey said...

Wow, her new costume didn't last long, did it?

Hang on, let me rephrase that...