Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Can of Cream of Mushroom Soup.

We'll Bull Right Back!

Off to Seattle for a few days to help out John sell fabulous Norton books to the good folks at Hello Mister Mulliner! Here we come!

I'll be back by Saturday but the combination of a red-eye flight and an unnatural terrifying fear of the Javits Center means I won't be at New York Comic-Con this weekend. My only regrets is that i shan't be able to meet the many of you who may be there! (I will be at BookExpoAmerica in May and San Diego Comic-Con in July, so there's no escaping a little stuffed bull! Hope to see you at one of those!)

In my absence, how about some fun 'n' games and a good ol' fashioned fill in the blanks craft project? Pull out your crayons, get your parents' permission to use scissors, and fill out the following any way you want. Remember: neatness and references to the Haneyverse count!

World's Finest #167

Go wild; you needn't limit yourself to filling in the faces: Photoshop the heck outta it if you want. I'll print the best and I'll print the worst—heck; I'll print all of 'em that aren't obscene (assuming anyone actually does one) this weekend. Prizes will be awarded!

So, I'll be back on Saturday, Bully fans—be good to yourselves and each other.

EDIT on 2/28: Contest extended if you want to enter! (Welcome, folks from Superdickery!) It's just been so hectic that I haven't had a chance to put up the couple excellent entries I've gotten, so if you want to face the face of Supes and Bats, go right ahead! Prizes for all! I should have a chance to put up entries sometime during the week of 3/4 and apologize for the delay.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Unsettling Slang of Mister Clint Barton, Part 3

Avengers #105 panel
Panel segment from Avengers #109 (March 1973), written by Steve Englehart, art by Don Heck and Frank McLaughlin

Special bonus "sometimes it takes a handcapped man to say what we're all thinking but are too afraid to say" panel!::
Daredevil #99 panel
Panel segment from Daredevil #99 (May 1973), written by Steve Gerber, art by Sam Kweskin and Syd Shores

Monday, February 19, 2007

Milhouse of M

Happy President's Day!

Today is a day to celebrate and honor our past presidents, and not just the two we most often think of in conjunction with this day, the two that had their holidays smushed into the Amalgam Universe single day off that we now get instead of the delicious double-shot two days from years of yore. No, don't simply remember George Washington and Abe Lincoln, but also Thomas Jefferson, William Howard Franklin Pierce...Jimmy Stewart...John Wayne..uh...Sam the Eagle...and the rest. Like my pers'nal fav'rite, Theodore Teddy "Bear" Roosevelt, a man who knew a thing or two about saying "bully!"

But as you hoist a rich chocolate milkshake today to the likes of Presidents Zachary Taylor, Oliver Wendell Douglas and John Zoidberg, don't forget to toast comics' greatest Presidential guest star, a man who, like Son of Satan, couldn't hold down his own book but made more guest appearances in comic books through his reign of terror distinguished presidential term. Ladies and gentlemen, please stand up as "Hail to the Chief" plays and salute the many comic book roles of President Richard Nixon:

From Beyond the Unknown #17

Alien reality television star!

Fantastic Four #123

Fantastic Four supporting character!

(More important than Sue, slightly less important than Ben Grimm and Galactus)

Avengers Forever #12 panel

Suicidal criminal empire mastermind!

Panel from Avengers Forever #12 (October 1999), written by Kurt Busiek and Roger Stern, art by Carlos Pacheo, Jesus Merino and Steve Oliff

Watchmen #10 panel

President for Life!

Non-consecutive panels from Watchmen #10 (July 1987), written by Alan Moore, art by Dave Gibbons and John Higgins

Avengers Forever #5 panel


Panels from Avengers Forever #5 (April 1999), written by Kurt Busiek and Roger Stern, art by Carlos Pacheo, Jesus Merino and Steve Oliff

Yes, our Man Dick has led a colorful and diverse comics life, and in his many appearances, he's been written more in perfect character than any given page of any Civil War tie-in portrays Tony Stark. Mark Gruenwald had an unwritten rule that for a character to appear in The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, he had to have made three significant appearances in Marvel comic books. I spot references to three distinct Marvel Universe stories above, and I'm sure there were many more I've missed. (For instance: behind the scenes of the historical Doctor Doom/Doctor Kissinger partnership in Supervillain Team-Up #6.) Wouldn't you love to see a Richard M. Nixon page in the next Official Handbook? His stats, specs, origin story, significant appearances, allies (Halderman, Erlichman, Mitchell and Dean), powers, weaknesses (Congressional commitees)?

But I say a token half-page in the next edition of That Marvel Seventies Handbook is not enough. If the epitome of 1970s Marvel, Ghost Rider, can make such a roaring return to popularity, why not President Nixon? Email Joe Quesada today at and ask, nay, demand a two-fisted all-out-action Nixon monthly comic, all done in the Mighty Marvel fashion. Nuff said, True Believers...and Make Mine Nixon!

Sunday, February 18, 2007