Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 15: Not Actually Bobby Darin

"Betty and Veronica's Coloring Page," reprinted in Betty and Veronica Double Digest #204 (October 2012)

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 14: Not Actually Tony Robbins

Panels from "Motivate Yourself" in Betty and Veronica Comics Digest Magazine #177 (2007), writer and artist uncredited
Wait, why do so many Archie Generic Celebrity stories involve the celebrity wearing a toupee?

Today in Comics History, November 14, 1933: Mike Sterling opens new business; forgets to make it a comic book shop

from Savage Wolverine #17 (April 2014); script, pencils, inks, and colors by Richard Isanove; letters by Cory Petit
But lo, I tell a lie, exaggerate for comic purposes, and I kids the Mike Sterling, because he actually did open his own comic book shop, and you can read about it here on Mike's blog Progressive Ruin and visit the official website for Sterling Silver Comics* right here!

*Confession: I didn't get the pun in the store's name until many, many days after Mike announced it. I AM TERRIBLE.

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month: Not Actually Paris Hilton (Thank Goodness)

Guess who's coming to dinner at the Lodge lodge!:




Panels from "Hotshot Friend" in Betty and Veronica Comics Digest Magazine #177 (2007), script by Mike Pellowski, pencils by Bill Galvan, inks by Bob (?) Smith
At last, someone shallower than Cheryl Blossom! Why, "Venice Bilton" makes Cheryl look like Mother Teresa! Oh, wait, it's Archie's Generic Celebrity Month...I mean Mother Shereesha.

Happy Birthdaze to My Sweetisk Gal

Cover of Popeye (Dell 1948 series) #47 (January-March 1959), pencils and inks by Bud Sagendorf
Happy birthday to The Queen o' my Heart, the ever-delightful Randi! (Yay!)

Today in Comics History, November 13, 1933: TARDIS is stuck in motor lodge mode

from Savage Wolverine #15 (Marvel, April 2014); script, pencils, inks, and colors by Richard Isanove; letters by Cory Petit
Context: The Interstate Highway System and the red-and-blue interstate highway sign shield first appeared in 1956.

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 12: Not Actually the Cast of Friends

So, yesterday we saw Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman Tom Crude and Nicole Kingfish — that's some MAD Magazine heights of parody names right there, huh? — having a spat over Tom's wandering eye for a member of the cast of the Earth-Archie's version of Friends:


Panel from Cheryl Blossom (1997 series) #1 (April 1997), script by Dan Parent, pencils by Don DeCarlo, inks by Jon D'Agostino, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida
Jennifer Applegate: the Amalgam Universe synthesis of Jennifer Aniston* and Christina Applegate. And she stars on that popular TV sitcom Buddies!


Well, I can recognize the Matt LeBlanc expy, but who are the rest? Despite the Bizarro World haircoloring, I'm just guessing, from left to right: Matthew Berry, Jennifer Applegate, Courteney Chickenz, and Lisa Kudzu. Yes, in any universe, nobody likes David Schwimmer. And here's Brad LeBlanc!


So there ya go. Now you know all about Riverdale's Thursday Night Must-See Expy.

Incidentally, how terrible a person is Cheryl Blossom? Why, this terrible:



So now you see why there is no need for "real" celebrities in Riverdale. Because in Archie's world: IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CHERYL.

*This passed by my spellcheck without hesitation. Why is the word "Aniston" in Microsoft Word's dictionary?!?

Today in Comics History, November 11, 1933: The Joad Family continue to have the best road trip ever

from Savage Wolverine #17 (April 2014); script, pencils, inks, and colors by Richard Isanove; letters by Cory Petit

Veterans Day: Honor to the soldier and sailor everywhere

Today we salute all veterans of the military forces, from wartime and peacetime. Here's some cartoons by the great Bill Maudlin, vividly portraying World War II Army life.





"Willie and Joe" cartoons, reprinted in Willie and Joe: The WWII Years (Fantagraphics, 2008)
"Honor to the soldier and sailor everywhere, who bravely bears his country’s cause. Honor, also, to the citizen who cares for his brother in the field and serves, as he best can, the same cause." — Abraham Lincoln

Well, that's my night accounted for

(Back tomorrow!)

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 11: Not Actually Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman

Panels from Cheryl Blossom (1997 series) #1 (April 1997), script by Dan Parent, pencils by Don DeCarlo, inks by Jon D'Agostino, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida
Whoa, whoa, what's with this Jennifer Applegate generic celebrity name-dropping?!? Need we say...to be continued tomorrow!

Today in Comics History, November 10, 1935: William Conrad makes his stage debut

from "Journey into Space" in Eagle Comics #1 (Rural Home, February 1945), creators uncredited and unknown

Today in Comics History, November 10, 19XX: Wonder Woman fails to proofread the invites

from "Interlude 2" in Wonder Woman #300 (DC, February 1983), script by Roy Thomas and Danette Thomas, pencils by Gene Colan, inks by Frank McLaughlin, colors by Carl Gafford, letters by John Costanza

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 10: Not Actually Bela Lugosi

Panel from "Chiller" in Archie's Girls Betty and Veronica #333 (December 1984), script by George Gladir, pencils by Dan DeCarlo, inks by Rudy Lapick, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida

Today in Comics History, November 9, 1908: The two most important things to happen on this date in 1908: Hot dog buns invented; Teddy Roosevelt shoots a bear in the face

from East of West #1 (Image, March 2013), script by Jonathan Hickman, pencils and inks by Nick Dragotta, colors by Frank Martin, letters by Rus Wooton

Today in Comics History, November 9, 1990: Consumers roundly reject new talking newspaper technology

from Justice League Quarterly #1 (DC, Winter 1990), plot and layouts by Keith Giffen, script by J.M. DeMatteis, pencils by Chris Sprouse, inks by Bruce Patterson, colors by Gene D'Angelo, letters by Bob Pinaha

Archie's Generic Celebrities Month, Day 9: Not Actually Ring Dings, Little Debbie, or Ho-Hos

Panel from "A Star is Diapered" in Jughead's Double Digest #200 (April 2014), script by Bill Golliher, pencils by Stan Goldberg, inks by Rudy Lapick, colors by Barry Grossman, letters by Bill Yoshida
I know that technically snack foods aren't celebrities, but as far as Jughead is concerned, they're absolutely stars.