Today in Comics History, May 1: Who wears short shorts?

Hey, here's a Warren W. Worthington the Whird comic book one-shot in which this gal has forgotten her past! That's pretty bad, but not as bad as Marvel forgetting to color this.


from Archangel [: Phantom Wings] #1 one-shot (Marvel, February 1996), script by Peter Milligan, pencils and inks by Leonardo Manco, letters by Jon Babcock
The calendar suddenly remidns her of something! That must mean her name is May, right?


OH FOR PETE'S SAKE COMIC BOOK


"Who Wears Short Shorts" commercial for Nair (1975), originally sung by The Royal Teens (ABC-Paramount, 1958), written by Tom Austin, Bill Crandell, Bill Dalton, and Bob Gaudio
This post was suggested by faithful reader and frequent commenter Blam, who's provided a lot of date references in comics that I'll spotlight throughout 2023 in this series. Thanks, Blam!

365 Days with Hank McCoy, Day 245

Panels from Uncanny X-Men #297 (February 1992), script by Scott Lobdell, pencils by Brandon Peterson, inks by Dan Panosian, colors by Marie Javins, letters by Chris Eliopoulos

365 Days with Hank McCoy, Day 228

Panel from Amazing Adventures #63 (November 1972), script by Steve Englehart, pencils by Tom Sutton, inks by Frank Giacoia and John Tartaglione, letters by Jean Izzo

The Unsettling Slang of Warren Worthington III

Sure, it's usually Hawkeye who's the one uttering utterly unsettling slang in the Marvel Universe...the sort of talk that makes you step back a little from Mister Clint Barton. The kind of metaphor that probably is just taken out of context, right? You know, the slang that doesn't quite seem like it belongs in a comic book?

Well, fear no more: Clint Barton's cleaned up his act (Dying a couple times will do that to ya)! Maybe because he's too busy keeping track of what identity he is this week (seriously, this guy's just one codename short of a Hank Pym), but Hawkeye's been on his best behavior recently. But I'm afraid we can't say the same thing about millionaire mutant Warren Worthington III:


Panel from Champions #5 (April 1976), script by Tony Isabella, layouts by Don Heck, finishes by John Tartaglione, colors by Janice Cohen, letters by Irving Watanabe

Hey-oh! We're sure he's just referring to a plate of creamed spinach or corn or something, I betcha.

Anyway, there you have it: The Unsettling Slang of Someone Other Than Clint Barton for Once. No more laughing behind your back at you, right, Hawkeye?


Panel from Tales of Suspense #57 (September 1964), script by Stan Lee, pencils and inks by Don Heck, letters by Sam Rosen

Geez, Hawkeye, no!!

365 Days with Hank McCoy, Day 9

Panels from The [New] Defenders #125 (November 1983), script by J. M. DeMatteis, pencils by Don Perlin, inks by Kim DeMulder, colors by Christie Scheele, letters by Janice Chiang

And may you not only get what you want and you need, but discover the joy in what you already have.

"Every time a bell rings,
an angel gets his wings."—ZuZu Bailey

Panels from X-Men: First Class v.2 #12 (July 2008), script by Jeff Parker;
pencils, inks, colors and letters by Colleen Coover

There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight

Hey, kids, it's time for another exciting

Please pick up your pencils, protractors, and lead bibs and prepare for the quiz. You have a total time period of a half-life lasting 4.5 billion years to complete the questions.

QUESTION: Willowy, worried Tony Stark is testing a nuclear bomb in the parking lot of the Long Island branch of Stark Industries, but...a superfluous and stray superhero soars southerly, flying overhead mere moments before the detonation.

Assuming a rocketing velocity of 210 mph from ground to the level of the stray superhero, and taking into account an easterly wind of 15 knots, and also that Tony Stark has had two shots of bourbon with his Wheaties this morning, how long will it take Iron Man to reach and warn away The Angel (appearing by kind permission of "X-Men Magazine")?


Whoops. Well, that'll happen.

Let's try another question. Upon being exposed to point blank high-atomic radiation and severe intense fallout, a human being will:

A: Gain the ability to climb up walls and shoot silken strands out of his posterior?

B: Achieve fantastic dexterity and gymnastic abilities, heightened senses beyond those of normal men, and oh yeah, go blind?



C: gain thousands of pounds of muscle mass in minutes, turning yourself grey, green, grey again, green yet again, then maybe red for some weird reason?



No, no, I'm afraid the answer is D: Become evil.

Wha...wait just a doggone minute! Become evil?!?




So, remember: That's D: Become evil:


Never fear, mutant-maniacs, by the end of the story Warren Worthington's all cured and his lovable, feathery self, going right back to hitting on the girlfriend of his best pal and flaunting his inherited money in front of his classmates.

Well, there you go, science fans. Radiation: it does a body good. Well, more to the point, it doesn't really do a body any harm. So, be like famous science guy Reed Richards: immerse yourself in radiation every day!



And above all, always remember:
RADIOACTIVITY: IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S ROCKET SCIENCE OR ANYTHING.