The Eight Nights of Comic Book Hanukkah, Night Seven: In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night

Say, here's a question for the holidays: is Hal Jordan/Green Lantern Jewish?


from "[An Old-Fashioned Christmas]" in Christmas with the Super-Heroes #2 (DC, December 1989), script by William Francis Messner-Loebs, pencils by Colleen Doran, inks by Ty Templeton, colors by Glenn Whitmore, letters by Albert De Guzman
Well, at least (recently and canonically), yes! Hal Jordan's mother was Jewish, which makes him Jewish, although he was raised Catholic.


from Justice League: The Darkseid War: Green Lantern #1 one-shot (DC, January 2016), script by Tom King, pencils and inks by Doc Shaner, colors by Chris Sotomayor, letters by Tom Napolitano
Yes, I know, I'm as surprised as you are that the hero I thought was a Super-W.A.S.P. is one of God's Chosen People. But it goes a long way towards explaining this cool Hanukkah story starring the Emerald Embessador, in which GL, not for nisht, says "hei!" and kicks an enemy on an alien kanga in the shin and then mutters "nun evil shall escape my sight." Yes, folks, it's all dreidel puns all the way down, all by a non-kosher little stuffed bull.


from Green Lantern: The Animated Series #8 (DC, January 2013), script by Ivan Cohen, pencils and inks by Luciano Vecchio, colors by Franco Riesco, letters by Saida Temofonte



Trapped on an alien world with characters like "J'dah" and "Mk'abee" and referencing eight nights to ward off the invaders, it's perfectly obvious that this is a parable about St. Swithin's Day Hanukkah.


Hal's power ring is, due to a "necessary impurity," powerless against anything yellow. But that really doesn't matter. What is a big deal is that the ring is lower on power and can't be recharged while he's stuck on the planet. Anybody wanna guess how long he has to make the ring's charge last for?


If you guessed any other span of time than eight days, go to the back of the class. No, no, waaaaay back there. No, further. Thats' right, behind Guy Gardner.

Hal puts his ring into power-saving mode, which means he's disconnected from local wi-fi and it will go to sleep five seconds after every five seconds since he touched it the last time.


As the eight days pass, the ring counts down its remaining power as Hal helps to defend his new alien pals. Turns out maybe he shouldn't have spent all that energy showing them Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa on a big green IMAX screen.


Now is about the time when you're desperate to plug in your phone, or find one of those stores in midtown Manhattan that charges you $22.50 for a little emergency charger that'll give you an extra 14 minutes of power.


Meanwhile, trapped off the planet, our fav'rit poozer Reddy Kilowog is partaking of the traditional Hanukkah treats of latkes, jelly doughnuts, beef brisket, applesauce and Rachael Ray's Jammy Walnut Rugelach. And who's to say no to a little Manischewitz, hmm?


It's Night Seven, and GL still has a eensy bit more power. Alas, back at home, Barry Allen is sitting forlornly by his deep frier waiting for Hal to show up for potato pancakes.


Just as the plan succeeds, the ring runs down and Hal passes out! Oh yeah, that's about par for the course for Mr. Jordan.


And so, as Tiny Tim Tom Kalmaku observed, "Happy Hanukkah, everyone!"