Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Elf with a Gun? Izzat you, you crazy nut? What're you doin' over here at DC, ya big goofball?

from Freedom Fighters (1976 series) #7 (DC, May 1977), script by Bob Rozakis, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Jack Abel, letters by Ben Oda

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Jingle Belle! She's the Harley Quinn that Paul Dini can say he owns!

from Jingle Belle: The Homemades' Tale one-shot (IDW, November 2018); script by Paul Dini; pencils, inks, and colors by Nicoletta Baldari; letters by Shawn Lee

Today in Comics History, December 24, 1940 and 1941, Christmas Eve: Exactly what it says on the tin

from Santa Claus vs. the Nazis (Markosia Publishing, November 2016), script by Benjamin Dickson, pencils and inks by Gavin Mitchell, colors by Miroslav Mrva and Owen Watts, letters by Benjamin Dickson
So that was Christmas Eve, 1940. But I know what you really want to see, right?:




So, this Christmas, peace on Earth, and good well to all men.

EXCEPT FOR NAZIS. KILL NAZIS. It's Santa Claus-approved!


Merry Christmas!

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Rudolph and the other reindeer frantically phone their union boss

from "Fairyland Isle!" in Action Comics #81 (DC, February 1945), pencils and inks by Ira Yarbrough

Today in Comics History, December 21, 1963: Ho ho oh boy

from Quantum Leap #3 (Innovation, March 1992), script by John Holland, art by Andy Price, colors by Scott Rockwell, color assist by Chris Ballard, letters by Vickie Williams

Today in Comics History, December 14, 1963: Santa personally delivers the Beatles' first Christmas Number One

from Klaus and the Life & Times of Joe Christmas #1 one-shot (Boom!, December 2019); script by Grant Morrison; pencils, inks, and colors by Dan Mora

Today in Comics History, June 2: Happy birthday, Alexander Salkind!

Born on this day in 1921: Alexander Salkind!


from Fifty Who Made DC Great one-shot (DC, 1985)
Salkind was a movie producer (The Three (and Four) Musketeers) and presenter (with son Ilya) of the movie that began modern superhero films: 1978's Superman: The Movie.


"Superman Movie Report" from DC Comics cover-dated August 1978
He also presented the sequels Superman II, Superman III, and Supergirl, plus 1985's Santa Claus: The Movie, all of which have been turned into comic books!


covers of (l-r) All-New Collectors' Edition #C-52 (DC, March 1980),
Supergirl Movie Special #1 one-shot (DC, February 1985), pencils by José Luis García-López, inks by Dick Giordano, and
Marvel Super Special #39 [Santa Claus: The Movie] (Marvel, 1985), painted art by Tom Palmer
Happy birthday to you, Alexander Salkind!

Today in Comics History, January 1: Hermie the Elf finally comes of age

from "A Christmas Peril!" in Batman (1940 series) #27 (DC, February 1945), script by Don C. Cameron, pencils and inks by Jerry Robinson, letters by Ira Schnapp

Today in Comics History Future, December 25, 2020, Christmas: The Shallow Grave Christmas Special!

from "The Year Santa Signed On" in 2000 AD Prog 868 (Fleetway, 1 January 1994), script by Mark Millar, art by by Ron Smith and Gina Hart, letters by Ellie DeVille

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 357: It Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Man Ho's

'Member yesterday when I warned you there wouldn't be any more panels about J. Jonah giving out cheapskate Christmas bonuses? I sorta lied.


Panels from Spider-Man: Christmas In Dallas one-shot (1983), script by Jim Salicrup, pencils by Alan Kupperberg, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Marie Severin, letters by Rick Parker
But actually the great surprise is that Jonah's flying Peter out to Dallas


No, no, not that one. Although I would certainly buy Spider-Man/J. R. Ewing Team-Up #1 in a second.

But why Dallas, for a story that could take place so easily in...I dunno...Manhattan? The real reason may astound you: this one-shot comic book was published in conjunction with the Pulitzer Prize-winning Dallas Times Herald, a daily Texan newspaper that was founded on the credo of TEXAS TWISTER: THREAT OR MENACE?


Santa Claus: he's a wide as he in tall! And he's got a mean-on for everybody in Whoville Dallas! Also, his wife is named Vanessa. That's just a little Mrs. Claus fact from all of us here at Comics Oughta Be Fun!


The Dallas Times Herald distributed several specially made Marvel comics about superheroes in The Big D, including Spider-Man, Firestar and Iceman at The Dallas Ballet Nutcracker, an seventeen page comic which devotes nine of its pages to retelling the Nutcracker story! To kids wishing for a Spider-Man comic, this is almost as big a bait-and-switch as Superman Salutes the Bicentennial!


Panel from Spider-Man, Fire-Star [sic] and Iceman at the Dallas Ballet Nutcracker one-shot (1983), script by Jim Salicrup, pencils by Jim Mooney, inks by John Tartaglione, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Gaspar Saladino
Also in this series: Spidey Does Dallas* Spider-Man and the Dallas Cowboys, which only includes one panel of the world-famous Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders! I call foul on that, Marvel Comics In Association with the Dallas Times Herald!


Panel from Spider-Man and the Dallas Cowboys one-shot (1983), script by Marie Severin and David Anthony Kraft, pencils by Marie Severin and Kerry Gammill, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by R. G. O'Shaw
Luckily, there was a whole comic about Spider-Man and the Hulk teaming up with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. THANK YOU MARVEL AND THE DALLAS TIMES HERALD!



Panels from Spider-Man and the Incredible Hulk one-shot (1982), creators unknown, altho' that's Jim Novak lettering, isn't it?
So the success of these many Spider-Man comics ensured that the Dallas Times Herald would continue to be a strong, vital part of Texas journalism! Until 1991, when it closed down. Well...that'll happen.

*I don't know what this joke means.

Ten of a Kind: If you sit on my lap today / A kiss a toy is the price you'll pay / Then the cops will take me away

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

Yes, Virginia, There Is a Spider-Man: An Editorial by J. Jonah Jameson

DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, "If you see it in THE DAILY BUGLE it's so."
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.

---

VIRGINIA, your little friends have a promising future in journalism. Who accepts any blasted story he hears on the street as fact? Around here I call him Ben Urich and he's fired. You heard me, Urich! Clean out your desk! Get the blazes outta here. This story is crap! Crap! Crap! Who are you trying to fool with this Daredevil story? Everybody knows Matt Murdock is as blind as half of Sandy Duncan. Go ahead, smart guy, tell me how a blind man can be Daredevil? Next thing you'll be telling me is that I'M Daredevil! You wanna see me in spandex tights swinging around the office? NO! Nobody wants to see that. Because I'm a journalist and a journalist gets the story! Okay, you're unfired. Fill up your desk again. Go out there and get the story. I want quotes, denials, pictures. Take Parker with you. Where's Parker? PARKER!

Yes, VIRGINIA, your friends are right to be suspicious about Santa Claus. Just because you see him on every street corner doesn't mean he's real. I see Spider-Man all the time and he's no real hero, I tell you. I've seen some of these con-artists and bums masquerading as Santa Claus down in Times Square and at Macy's and I wouldn't give them a seafood dinner if they were King Namor of Atlantis! You know why? Because they can't prove it. Where's the reindeer, where's the sleigh, where's the presents? I'm gonna come right out and call each and every one of those Broadway Santas a big fat fraud. What're you gonna do, fatties? Sue me? I know more lawyers than you know elves.

Not believe in Santa Claus! That's the kind of no-nonsense, forward-looking view I want to see in an investigative reporter. You might as well believe another planet crashed into us this summer! That's outrageous! I'll tell you what I told Parker: no photos, no story. This is a picture newspaper, dammit! If we can get a picture of Donald Trump giving a Nazi salute, we can certainly get a picture of a planet crashing into the Earth. But does anybody ever think about what I want? No! A little piece and quiet is all I want. And pictures of Spider-Man! Get me pictures of Spider-Man! Get out of here, Parker!

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, and that's the only thing that's gonna get you is the low-down story on those snake-filled baby rattles from Doctor Octopus. You think I got two Pulitzers sitting here at this desk and yelling at Parker to get me pictures of Santa Claus? No! I got them looking out this window and peering into the hearts and minds of every man, woman, and child in this city. And I know what they want. They want honest, solid journalism about corruption, crime, and Spider-Man! Ah, VIRGINIA, in this entire world there's nothing else more real and abiding than catching Spider-Man with his pants down. Metaphorically speaking.

So yes, VIRGINIA, there IS a Spider-Man. He's a threat and a menace, Thank God! for the increase in circulation every time we put one of those Spider-Man photos on the front page by Parker that looks like he shot it through cobwebs. Yes, Spider-Man will continue to threaten you and your family, and the only place you can count on to tell the truth is the DAILY BUGLE. And about this Santa Claus thing: there's only one way to tell for sure. If you don't get absolutely everything you wanted on your Christmas list, every single toy and doll and hula hoop or whatever it is you kids want — it's because Spider-Man killed Santa Claus.

Dictated but not read,
J. JONAH JAMESON

JJJ/bb

Today in Comics History, December 24: Dorothy Gale files a restraining order on Santa Claus

from The Road to Oz #6 (Marvel, May 2013), script by Eric Shanower based on the novel by L. Frank Baum, pencils and inks by Skottie Young, colors by Jean-Francois Beaulieu, letters by Jeff Eckleberry

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 111: The Sandman's Hypnosonic Whistle

"You know how to whistle, don't you?" said the hottest woman in the universe:



But for the Sandman, whistling involves — you guessed it! — a very special piece of KirbyTech: the Hypnosonic Whistle.


Panel from The Sandman (1974 series) #2 (April-May 1975), script by Michael Fleisher, pencils by Ernie Chan, inks by Mike Royer, letters by Ben Oda
Gosh, Mr. Sandman, Miss Bacall don't need no magic whistle to do that.

A Four Color Christmas, Day 19: Either that logo follows Santa around, or the monkey is breaking the fourth wall

Here's the flip-book back cover of Four Color #259, of which we saw the front cover yesterday!


Cover of Four Color #259 [Santa and the Angel] (December 1949), pencils and inks by Morris Gollub
What, no Christmas Zebra?

A Four Color Christmas, Day 18: Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby

Cover of Four Color #259 [Santa and the Angel] (December 1949), pencils and inks by Morris Gollub
What's this? "Turn to back cover?" Well, I will! Tomorrow!