Thursday, October 13, 2016

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 287: Water revoltin' development this is

The thrilling saga of how the Kingpin locked Spider-Man and Jonah Jameson in his leaky basement!

Cover of Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #52 (September 1967), pencils and inks by John Romita, Sr., colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Sam Rosen

Yes, the Kingpin (of all Crime) had indeed captured Spidey and JJJ and put them in a death trap (if not a suicide rap), but if you've read any Spider-Man comics (and I'm pretty sure guessing that by this point you have), then you know that to Spider-Man, Watery Graves is simply the name of Lex Luthor's bodyguard's sister.

Panels from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #52 (September 1967), script by Stan Lee, pencils by John Romita, Sr., inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Sam Rosen

Spider-Man! Spider-Man! He's the guy with a spider-plan! Sling some webs, through the water! This way he / avoids slaughter! Look out! He's the waterproof Spider-Man!

Jonah has apparently never learned how to swim, so Spidey makes one of those big inflatable sumo wrestler bubbles for them to ride out the waves safely. Man, Romita draws good water, doesn't he? That's either making me thirsty or have to pee. Hold on, I'll be back in a couple minutes.

The Moist Marauders Marvel Team-Up keads them into the underground passages of the Kingpin's elaborate office complex, which also contains a T.G.I.Friday's and one of those "Phantom of Broadway" cheap-ass souvenir gift shops. Laos, there is a Starbucks in the lobby, on the eighteenth floor, and inside the Kingpin's office. Also, there is another Starbuck's inside that one.

At last, Jameson escapes while SPidey holds off the hordes of bad hombres! Run, Jonah, run!...oh geez, he just pulled a Scotty in Star Trek V move. That's gonna leave a mark.

Jameson wakes up later in a shower where Bobby Ewing is still alive in the dank cellarway, at last safe from the stampeding Kingpin and his henchmen the Kingtwins, although it's clear he can't tell the sensation of water on his head. Thus we conclude, J. Jonah Jameson has never washed his hair.

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