Waiter, please take away these ten thousand spoons when all I need ten thousand forks

All that talk and YouTube videos yesterday about one of my favorite topics — waffles — made me a mite peckish for those delicious hot 'n' crispy breakfast treats, so it was off today into Manhattan to Petite Abeille, my favorite Belgian restaurant in the Big Apple. How Belgian is it? So Belgian that Hercule Poirot eats here.

In fact, I was so hungry that I vowed to eat

10,000 WAFFLES!

So, come along with me, won't you, to eat 10,000 Waffles! Or, as they say in Belgium, "Volg me en eet tienduizendtalwafels." Make sure you keep count along with me, okay?

One of the best things about Petite Abeille is their exclusive Belgian waitstaff. Here, a young waiter takes my order, then disappears for six months into Tibet with his fluffy white dog.


Ah, the menu! Or, as we say in Belgium, the "menu". And hey, look, Bumblebee from the Teen Titans is on it. I wonder how much she makes for that endorsement deal.


Ah ha! Voila! 'Ere is, as you say, le waffle section. I zhall 'ave ten thouzhand of zese, s'il vous plait! Eight thousand with whipped cream, fifteen hundred with nutella, and five hundred with speculoos.


All good restaurants have some form of entertainment to keep you amused while the specialty chefs in the kitchen are preparing your beautifully handcrafted meal. And if you're ordering ten thousand of them, you're gonna have a little bit of a wait. That's why I'm lucky that Petite Abeille offers a lending library of Tintin paperbacks, in both English and French! I think I'll choose this Hergé classic to while away my waffle-anticipatory wait.


There's always high adventure, action, thrills and laffs at Marlinspike Hall! And this special edition of Tintin is actually scratch 'n' sniff! Let's see what this page smells like...mmmmmm, Captain Haddock's whisky!


Don't fill up on bread! That's how they get you.


Hey, who ordered mac 'n' cheese for an appetizer? Oh well, it looks delicious! Nom nom nom nom nom!


It's always a good idea to choose a beverage that compliments your meal. I intensely consultated with Petite Abeille's sommelier, who informed me with not even a tiny bit of snootiness that white wine goes with fish, and red wine goes with meat, but waffles are best complimented with a fine local Belgian brew. What the heck, bring me a bucket of the stuff!


I think I drank it too fast. (hic)


Hoorah! Waffle #1 has arrived! Mark that down...waffle number one. Let's get started on it right now!


Mmmmmm...that was good. But I'm kinda full now. How many more do I have to eat?


I think I better take the rest of them "to go."


Luckily, when I was heading home, I saw the Rickshaw Nice Dumplings van! Yummmm...I'm so hungry, I'm going to eat ten thousand dumplings!

Restaurant review: Bully's East, San Diego

In addition to excellent comic book conventions, San Diego is also home to many amazing and delicious restaurants. I've had some excellent food here: I had some wonderful Chinese the other night, and some of the city's best Mexican restaurants are found in the historic Gaslamp District and Old Town...mmmm...more sopapillas, please!

But for my last meal in San Diego I asked John to drive me to the famous restaurant with the great name: Bully's East, "A San Diego Tradition Since 1967." Wow! That's a long time! I was hoping they did not have food that old in the kitchen.



My trusty and well-thumbed copy of Access Guide to San Diego warned that as popular as Bully's is, there's sometimes a wait to get in, but we arrived in the doldrums of the mid-afternoon smack-dab between lunch and dinner. It was the perfect time for linner then, as we were seated quickly in a plush cushy booth in the dark cozy dining room. There were many amazing things to choose from to eat as the menu was almost as big as a book:



Everything sounded so good that I couldn't choose, so I let John pick what we were going to eat. First up: delicious, delicious calamari. These came fast and were hot and savory, not too much breading but just enough crunch to add to the tender squiddy goodness. It surprised me that instead of the usual tentacled rings you get when you order calamari, Bully's serves 'em up in big generous chunks of octopus-meat: no skimping on the seafoody delight here!



Next up: a hot piping bowl of my favorite soup, French Onion. Ooh la la! I know some people think that French onion soup is simply gilding the lily, but to the taste buds of this little stuffed bull, there's not anything that can't be improved by melting cheese over it! And hey, look, Texas Toast! My second kind of favorite toast after French. I'm getting full already and the main course hasn't even arrived!



Whoo hoo! When we ordered the Prime Rib Sandwich, I thought it would be carved slices in a roll: I didn't expect it would be a massive full piece of delicious, juicy prime rib laid out on a bed of toasted bread! Bully's certainly gives good value for money, especially with their famous and delicious prime rib:



Huh? What? Why are you all looking at me like that? What's the matter?

Ohhhhhh. No, don't worry, Bully fans. I simply had some of the delicious creamy garlic mashed potatoes. I did not sit and eat prime rib! And even if I did, it wasn't anyone I knew! Besides, who even knows what kind of animal a prime rib comes from? Probably some sort of amazing and yummy beast called the Prime Riblet. John would not tell me where a prime rib comes from, but he seemed to enjoy it very much. Me? I'm stinkin' of garlic and lovin' it!

So, in conclusion: when you're in San Diego, dine at the fabulous Bully's East, and tell 'em I sent you. You'll come for the name, stay for the surprisingly large portions, friendly service, and all the free paper napkins you can use!

A lethargic, lazy, turkey-and-gravy-stuffed comics review

Boy, am I full.

I am lying on the couch stuffed with turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie and about all I can do it read this week's comics and tell you whether or not they are fun. I am too full for running around in Prospect Park playing touch football. I am too full to go early Christmas shopping on Black Friday and get all the bargains by heading out to the stores that are opening at 2:30 AM to allow you to save 1.5% on a liquid plasma television set. I am even too full to get up and change the channel so I am stuck watching the Thanksgiving weekend The Apprentice marathon.

How full am I? Well, when I say I'm a little stuffed bull, I really am a little stuffed bull! Tee hee!

Ow. My stomach hurts from giggling. Will someone please bring me an Alka-Seltzer? In the meantime, let's look at some comics.

SHE-HULK #2: This comic is fun. Look, I just like time-paradox stories, okay? So the fact that I didn't understand a lot of what was really going on in this issue but still enjoyed the heck out of it is a plus. One of my favorite bits was Hawkeye not understanding that everyone knows he died in AVENGERS #502 (not a fun comic). Plus, Awesome Andy is on a secret mission? Could this possibly lead into next month's thrilling SHE-HULK #100 comic? (Answer: I dunno, but I betcha!) Anyway, good fun, both silly and serious in this book. Points off for the dopey looking Greg Horn painted cover...it just doesn't tell you what a wild fun ride the comic is, and gee, I should never have to think about Hawkeye's lips, but holy cow, there they are! Aieeeeeeeee! Hawkeye’s scary lips!


FUTURAMA #22: This comic is fun. Top of my list of "Comics I Like That Are Based on Cancelled TV Shows I Used to Like" (at least until they produce a Magnum, P.I. comic. Huh, Marvel? Huh? Huh?) Anyway, you know how you can sum up most episodes of some TV shows with a single generic TV Guide listing? (Like this: COLUMBO: Columbo investigates the perfect murder. Or SMALLVILLE: A Kryptonite-powered teen villain threatens Clark's secret. Or GILMORE GIRLS: Lorelai has an argument with Emily and then everyone talks really really fast about pop culture references.) Well, then there's this one: FUTURAMA: Bender's latest money-making scheme goes awry and nearly kills Fry. But even if it's predictable, how can you not love a comic that includes Bender dressing up as Amy, President Nixon losing his jowl fat, and the Caption-Bot? It's all tied into a story with Bender becoming New New York's fitness czar and Fry greasing the transportations tubes of the city with delicious, delicious bacon fat. The creative comic at Bongo have the most important aspect of a successful TV-to-comics adaptation: the characters sound absolutely authentic; you can actually hear John DiMaggio as Bender when he declares on page 19: "Sure thing, right after I do my nightly roll in the money I've made today!'" All this, and a Superman crossover...really! If this doesn't sound fun to you...well...boo on you!


ZATANNA #4: This comic is fun. I'm not allowed to read every issue of Seven Soldiers (John, why can't I look at BULLETEER #1? Huh? Huh? Huh?) but those I have seen I've like a lot, even if I don't quite understand them...at least until I read all of 'em in one big Seven Soliders marathon festival. In this issue, Zee's quest for the Seven Unknown Men takes her into a magical battle that, like everything Mister Grant Morrison does, builds on traditional comic book cliché but takes them spinning off into his own hyper-nano-po-mo direction, so you can see touches of Steve Ditko and Gene Colan and Carmine Infantino and Mike Sekowsky in Ryan Sook's art, but it's orig'nal and fresh and keeps you (well, me, at least) guessing through the whole story. And ZATANNA #4 gets extra points for The Best Line of the Week (maybe even the year!): "It's a magnificent beard and I know you want one! Hahahaha!" There’re a very sweet few panels where Zatanna's father explains to her that his legacy to the world was not his spells or his magic books: it was his daughter. (sniff) Also, it is extra fun reading her backwards dialogue. And um...fishnets. They make me feel funny. But nice. That's why ZATANNA #4 is the most fun comic of the week!


Okay! Now I'm ready for leftover stuffing and pie! Just mash 'em up in a big bowl and bring me a spoon. Yay for leftovers!