A lethargic, lazy, turkey-and-gravy-stuffed comics review

Boy, am I full.

I am lying on the couch stuffed with turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie and about all I can do it read this week's comics and tell you whether or not they are fun. I am too full for running around in Prospect Park playing touch football. I am too full to go early Christmas shopping on Black Friday and get all the bargains by heading out to the stores that are opening at 2:30 AM to allow you to save 1.5% on a liquid plasma television set. I am even too full to get up and change the channel so I am stuck watching the Thanksgiving weekend The Apprentice marathon.

How full am I? Well, when I say I'm a little stuffed bull, I really am a little stuffed bull! Tee hee!

Ow. My stomach hurts from giggling. Will someone please bring me an Alka-Seltzer? In the meantime, let's look at some comics.

SHE-HULK #2: This comic is fun. Look, I just like time-paradox stories, okay? So the fact that I didn't understand a lot of what was really going on in this issue but still enjoyed the heck out of it is a plus. One of my favorite bits was Hawkeye not understanding that everyone knows he died in AVENGERS #502 (not a fun comic). Plus, Awesome Andy is on a secret mission? Could this possibly lead into next month's thrilling SHE-HULK #100 comic? (Answer: I dunno, but I betcha!) Anyway, good fun, both silly and serious in this book. Points off for the dopey looking Greg Horn painted cover...it just doesn't tell you what a wild fun ride the comic is, and gee, I should never have to think about Hawkeye's lips, but holy cow, there they are! Aieeeeeeeee! Hawkeye’s scary lips!


FUTURAMA #22: This comic is fun. Top of my list of "Comics I Like That Are Based on Cancelled TV Shows I Used to Like" (at least until they produce a Magnum, P.I. comic. Huh, Marvel? Huh? Huh?) Anyway, you know how you can sum up most episodes of some TV shows with a single generic TV Guide listing? (Like this: COLUMBO: Columbo investigates the perfect murder. Or SMALLVILLE: A Kryptonite-powered teen villain threatens Clark's secret. Or GILMORE GIRLS: Lorelai has an argument with Emily and then everyone talks really really fast about pop culture references.) Well, then there's this one: FUTURAMA: Bender's latest money-making scheme goes awry and nearly kills Fry. But even if it's predictable, how can you not love a comic that includes Bender dressing up as Amy, President Nixon losing his jowl fat, and the Caption-Bot? It's all tied into a story with Bender becoming New New York's fitness czar and Fry greasing the transportations tubes of the city with delicious, delicious bacon fat. The creative comic at Bongo have the most important aspect of a successful TV-to-comics adaptation: the characters sound absolutely authentic; you can actually hear John DiMaggio as Bender when he declares on page 19: "Sure thing, right after I do my nightly roll in the money I've made today!'" All this, and a Superman crossover...really! If this doesn't sound fun to you...well...boo on you!


ZATANNA #4: This comic is fun. I'm not allowed to read every issue of Seven Soldiers (John, why can't I look at BULLETEER #1? Huh? Huh? Huh?) but those I have seen I've like a lot, even if I don't quite understand them...at least until I read all of 'em in one big Seven Soliders marathon festival. In this issue, Zee's quest for the Seven Unknown Men takes her into a magical battle that, like everything Mister Grant Morrison does, builds on traditional comic book cliché but takes them spinning off into his own hyper-nano-po-mo direction, so you can see touches of Steve Ditko and Gene Colan and Carmine Infantino and Mike Sekowsky in Ryan Sook's art, but it's orig'nal and fresh and keeps you (well, me, at least) guessing through the whole story. And ZATANNA #4 gets extra points for The Best Line of the Week (maybe even the year!): "It's a magnificent beard and I know you want one! Hahahaha!" There’re a very sweet few panels where Zatanna's father explains to her that his legacy to the world was not his spells or his magic books: it was his daughter. (sniff) Also, it is extra fun reading her backwards dialogue. And um...fishnets. They make me feel funny. But nice. That's why ZATANNA #4 is the most fun comic of the week!


Okay! Now I'm ready for leftover stuffing and pie! Just mash 'em up in a big bowl and bring me a spoon. Yay for leftovers!