Today in Comics History, August 5: Jean Grey finally watched the movie Gaslight

from X-Factor (1986 series) #13 (Marvel, February 1987), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by Walter Simonson, inks by Dan Green, colors by Petra Goldberg, letters by Joe Rosen

Today in Comics History, September 1, 1980: Madeleine Pryor tragically doesn't get a second pack of peanuts on her flight

from Uncanny X-Men (1963 series) #171 (Marvel, July 1983), script by Chris Claremont, breakdowns by Walt Simonson, finishes by Bob Wiacek, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechwoski

Fun with Comics: This implies some form of heat vision, vindicating Gail Simone

from "What If Wolverine Had Killed the Hulk?" in What If...? (1977 series) #31 (Marvel, February 1982), script by Rich Margopoulos, pencils by Bob Budiansky, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Karin Nemri

365 Days of Power and Responsibility, Day 43: No one can figure out how Cyclops keeps his visor on

Panel from Cyclops (2014 series) #12 (June 2015), script by John Layman, pencils and inks by Javier Garrón, colors by Chris Sotomayor, letters by Joe Caramagna

365 Days of Defiance, Day 312: The Sacrifice

Panels from [Uncanny] X-Men (1963 series) #137 (September 1980), co-plot and script by Chris Claremont, co-plot and pencils by John Byrne, inks by= Terry Austin, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski

Countdown to Halloween: Jack Kirby's Monsters! Night Five: Cyclops was right

And now, because you demanded it (note: no one has actually demanded this), the first appearance and origin of that popular Jack Kirby character: Scott "Slim"* Summers, the X-Man known as Cyclops!


Cover of Tales of Suspense #10 (July 1960), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Steve Ditko, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek
See Scott Summers as Cyclops, demonstrating his uncanny mutant power of throwin' big-ass rocks and sinking the Dejah Thoris II, the canonical pleasure yacht of Dr. Peter Corbeau, creator of Starcore!**


Splash page from "I Brought the Mighty Cyclops Back to Life" in Tales of Suspense #10 (July 1960), plot by Stan Lee (?), script by Larry Lieber (?), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek
Thrill as Scott Summers is rescued from the suspended animation he's been placed in by Mister Sinister, who hung around orphanages grooming young boys in such a creepy way*** it's surprising he isn't mentioned in the same disdainful breath as Jimmy Savile, Gary Glitter, and Dave Lee Travers.


Witness Cyclops defeated by the mighty Ulysses Bloodstone, monster hunter of the Marvel Universe, who threw salt into his eye!


Gasp in astonishment as Cyclops peers through his patented ruby quartz crystal glasses which he must wear at all times lest his mighty optic beams, both his blessing and his curse, might destroy Wolverine and Jean Grey, who appear in shades of red and pink to him, because of the aforementioned ruby quartz crystal glasses!


Shiver in your seat as Cyclops attacks FBI agent Amos "Fred" Duncan, the X-Men's first government liaison**** and also the only X-character who has never received his own four-issue limited series!


Shake, rattle, and roll as Scott Summers, fiercely jealous of the secret relationship of Wolverine and Jean Grey, traps them in a cave so they can't go down for a date to Salem Center's favorite hang-out spot, Harry's Hideway!*****


Congest (congest?) as X-Man Bobby Drake, the chill-factorin' mutant called Iceman, traps Cyclops in a massive frozen tomb from which he will never be seen again, at least until the snowball-laden debut of Chad Bowers and Chris Sims' new series X-Men: Winter of '92!******


Cyclops!

*Scott's nickname "Slim" is Marvel canon.
**This is completely Marvel Universe canon.
***This is also Marvel Universe canon. Creepy, but canon.
****Canon!
*****Curiously enough, also completely true Marvel canon.
******Might be canon if we wish hard enough.

Today in Comics History Future, January 22, 2061: Emma has a bottle of Ambien

from 100th Anniversary Special: X-Men one-shot (Marvel, September 2014), script by Robin Furth, pencils and inks by Jason Masters, colors by James Campbell and Verto Gandini, letters by Cory Petit

Today in Comics History, June 15: Another happy Marvel Universe marriage that will last forever

All-New X-Men #7 places this as the date...


from All-New X-Men (2013 series) #7 (Marvel, April 2013), script by Brian Michael Bendis, pencils and inks by David Marquez, colors by Marte Gracia, letters by Cory Petit
...that this event took place:

cover of X-Men (1991 series) #30 (Marvel, March 1994); pencils by Andy Kubert, inks by Matt Ryan, both of whom are pictured somewhere on this cover (right-hand back rows?) along with Fabian Nicieza
(Click picture to bridezilla-size)
Not pictured: perennial bridesmaid Emma Frost.

Yes, it's a date for dresses straight out of the late 1980s:


from X-Men (1991 series) #30 (March 1994), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Andy Kubert, inks by Matt Ryan, colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Bill Oakley
...and for allegorical lessons on how to tie bow ties:




Scott was so grateful that Charles Xavier tied his bow tie for him, that right there and then Cyclops vowed to never kill Professor X.

Happy Nineteenth Anniversary, you crazy kids!

Hey, wait, in 1994, June 15 was on a Wednesday BENDIS YOU LAZY RESEARCHER

---

A late addition!: observant commenter Green Luthor said:

But... didn't Scott and Jean get married in the winter? There was snow on the ground around the mansion, but Storm used her powers to make it, like, 70 degrees there so the wedding would have nice weather. (I'm not misremembering this, am I?) So... yeah, that's definitely some lazy research there...

Huh, yeah, you're right, GL! The story in X-Men #30 takes place in January!


So, thank you, GL! With your eagle-eyed help, we can yet again see that Brian Bendis could have done the proper research, but he just didn't care.

Today in Comics History: The prophecy "The one who will kill his mentor shall fall on the ice" is foretold

Panel from "An X-Men X-Mas" in Marvel Holiday Special 2004 one-shot (January 2005), script by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, pencils by Roger Cruz, inks by Victor Olazaba, colors by Chris Sotomayor, letters by Clem Robins

Like a clone, smartly dressed in your pressed uniform

Well, I for one didn't think that Madonna's outfit at the Super Bowl was all that bad. In fact, I kinda liked the Asgardian influence. Get Jack Kirby in there to add a few more epaulets and shoulder pads and it's pretty much something you'd expect Sif's kid sister (Tiff) to wear during one of those big-ass Norse god parties they're always having, with Odin at the head of the table, Loki skulking behind the arras, and the mashed potatoes never even getting past Volstagg.



You couldn't even say it's the worst outfit ever, because I think that award has to go to Miss Katherine Juno Pryde of Deerfield, Illinois for her infamous entry "Colorblind Disco Zap Girl."


Panel from Uncanny X-Men #149 (September 1981), script by Chris Claremont, loose breakdowns by Dave Cockrum, finishes by Joe Rubinstein, colors by Don Warfield, letters by Janice Chiang

Yep, this crime against optic nature debuted in Uncanny X-Men #149 and lasted through the following issue, where Magneto took such pity on her fashion sense that he spared the X-Men from their untimely deaths by magnets. You can try to claim it's not canon because it wasn't lettered by Tom Orzechowski (which, come to think of it, is a really good way to determine your personal X-Canon), but it happened. As Cyclops is fond of saying: "AIEEEEEEE MY EYES!"

This krazy kreation by Kitty is also an occasion for another "Professor X Is a Jerk" entry:




Chuck is really critical of Kitty's "costume" (note that word), even though, hey, Charley: pot, meet kettle:


Panels from Uncanny X-Men #193 (May 1985), script by Chris Claremont, breakdowns by John Romita, Jr., finishes by Dan Green, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechowski

So I wouldn't be that critical, Professor. Well, at least it coulda been worse...it could have been Thor's outfit from Thor #498:


Panel portion from Thor #498 (May 1996), scriot by William Messner-Loebs, pencils by Pino Rinaldi, inks by Andy Lanning, colors by Marie Javins, letters by Jonathan Babcock

Anyway, my point (you know the rest of that phrase) is that this infamous Kitty Pryde/Sprite/Ariel/Shadowcat/Li'l Intangible outfit is seen again, years later, in Wolverine: First Class #12, a continuity implant tale that takes place immediatel following X-Men #150. Say goodbye to Kitty Pryde, the Disco Era.


Panels from Wolverine: First Class #12 (April 2009), script by Fred Van Lente, pencils and inks by Scott Koblish, colors by Ulises Arreola, letters by Joe Caramagna

Pull up your seats, students: Professor Logan is about to tell us the official term to refer to one of those skintight unstable-molecule outfits all our favorite superheroes (except Lockjaw) wear.



Naturally, not everybody agrees on this terminology.



By the end of the comic, and keeping with the universal truth that Cyclops is a putz, Kitty makes her choice of not only what she wants to call that yellow and black outfit, but also who she wants to be her tutor in learning how to protect a world that is sworn to hate and destroy them.



So, as we have now learned, Wolverine calls the blue/yellow and/or brown/black outfit he wears a uniform. He never, never, ever calls it a "costume."


Panels from Wolverine: First Class #15 (July 2009; three months later), script by Peter David, pencils and inks by Scott Koblish, colors by Ulises Arreola, letters by Joe Caramagna

Oh for crying out loud.

Magneto's crushing your head! He's crushing your head!

Panels from X-Men: Prelude to Schism #2 (July 2002), script by Paul Jenkins, pencils and inks by Andrea Mutti, colors by Lee Loughridge, letters by Rob Steen

To which I append:

Context:

We gather together to watch cheesy movies

If you're not out partying this fine New Year's Eve, Bully-fans...and even if you are...then don't miss my guest stint over at my pal DBBurrough's blog Unseen Films all night and well into the first day of 2011: because I'm watching those bot-riffed cheesy movies that you don't often get to see: "Unseen Turkey Day," the seldom-seen episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 that aren't released on DVD!



I'll be watching 24 straight hours of MST3K from 6 PM tonight until 6 PM tomorrow, until I run out of movies, until my VHS machine burns out, or until I fall asleep (whichever comes first). Join me (won't you) for Unseen Turkey Day!

And now, to get in on the fun, Dr. Scott Cyclops and TV's Hank reenact one of their favorite comedy bits from the series:

365 Days with Hank McCoy, Day 334

Panel from X-Men: First Class Giant-Size Special #1 (December 2008), script by Jeff Parker, art by Michael Cho, letters by Nate Piekos

365 Days with Hank McCoy, Day 307

Panels from X-Men #25 (October 1993), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Andy Kubert, inks by Matt Ryan, colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Bill Oakley

365 Days with Hank McCoy, Day 252

Panel from X-Men #188 (September 2006), written by Mike Carey, pencils by Chris Bachalo, inks by Tim Townsend and Jaime Mendoza, colors by Antonio Fabela, letters by Cory Petit

365 Days with Hank McCoy, Day 202

Panels from Uncanny X-Men #337 (October 1996), script by Scott Lobdell, pencils by Joe Madureira, inks by Tim Townsend, colors by Steve Buccellato, letters by Richard Starkings and Kolja Fuchs

Cyclops hates these ads!

Full two-page spread from [Uncanny] X-Men #6 (July 1964)
Cyclops pin-up by Jack Kirby and Chic Stone
Click to Fred Dukes-size!

My enemy, my narrator

Arch-enemies. Every comic book character has 'em. Superman has Luthor. Batman has The Joker. Spider-Man has The Green Goblin. Iron Man has Oxidation.

So, who, true bull-lievers, do you think is the ultimate arch-enemy of Scott Summers, the mutant known as Cyclops?

Is it Magneto?



Is it Mister Sinister?



Is it Wolverine?



No! It's this guy:

Chris Claremont

What? Chris Claremont? The guy who popularized the X-Men? The master of the mutant magazines? The writer who invented Gambit? (Okay, let's not hold that one against him.) How could Chris Claremont be the arch-enemy of Cyclops? I hear y'all argue: he isn't even a character in the Marvel Universe!

That's where you're wrong, wrong, WRONG! Chris Claremont is indeed a character in the MU and a denizen of Earth-616. Why, check out his appearances in The Uncanny X-Men and Man-Thing:






Okay, so yeah, our pal Chris exists in the same universe as the X-Men, Man-Thing, Daredevil and Royal Roy...but what possible harm could he do our favorite red-eyed mutant? He hasn't got adamantium claws or an enchanted katana sword or been exposed to radioactive zebra bites or has the strength of a thousand men when you write him a critical letter pointing out that The New Exiles really just isn't that good at all.

No, but Chris Claremont has the most deadly weapon of them all...words. Like Doug Piranha, Chris knows all the tricks: embellishment, exaggeration, magnification, overstatement, ornamentation, promulgation...and hyperbole. What's more, he knows how to use a thesaurus. And in the mouth of an ordinary man that can be a very dangerous thing indeed. But the amassed evil skills of Chris Claremont are only concentrated into a blood-hot furious weapon when one takes on the role that Claremont himself had in Cyclops's life: omniscient narrator.









Golly. Chris is relentlessly evil. No wonder Scott Summers went googly-googly nuts. Well, that an' his girlfriend dyin' all the time.

But weep not for Scott Summers, dear reader. He knows how to take care of himself:



PS: I was jus' kidding about Royal Roy.