Like a clone, smartly dressed in your pressed uniform

Well, I for one didn't think that Madonna's outfit at the Super Bowl was all that bad. In fact, I kinda liked the Asgardian influence. Get Jack Kirby in there to add a few more epaulets and shoulder pads and it's pretty much something you'd expect Sif's kid sister (Tiff) to wear during one of those big-ass Norse god parties they're always having, with Odin at the head of the table, Loki skulking behind the arras, and the mashed potatoes never even getting past Volstagg.



You couldn't even say it's the worst outfit ever, because I think that award has to go to Miss Katherine Juno Pryde of Deerfield, Illinois for her infamous entry "Colorblind Disco Zap Girl."


Panel from Uncanny X-Men #149 (September 1981), script by Chris Claremont, loose breakdowns by Dave Cockrum, finishes by Joe Rubinstein, colors by Don Warfield, letters by Janice Chiang

Yep, this crime against optic nature debuted in Uncanny X-Men #149 and lasted through the following issue, where Magneto took such pity on her fashion sense that he spared the X-Men from their untimely deaths by magnets. You can try to claim it's not canon because it wasn't lettered by Tom Orzechowski (which, come to think of it, is a really good way to determine your personal X-Canon), but it happened. As Cyclops is fond of saying: "AIEEEEEEE MY EYES!"

This krazy kreation by Kitty is also an occasion for another "Professor X Is a Jerk" entry:




Chuck is really critical of Kitty's "costume" (note that word), even though, hey, Charley: pot, meet kettle:


Panels from Uncanny X-Men #193 (May 1985), script by Chris Claremont, breakdowns by John Romita, Jr., finishes by Dan Green, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Tom Orzechowski

So I wouldn't be that critical, Professor. Well, at least it coulda been worse...it could have been Thor's outfit from Thor #498:


Panel portion from Thor #498 (May 1996), scriot by William Messner-Loebs, pencils by Pino Rinaldi, inks by Andy Lanning, colors by Marie Javins, letters by Jonathan Babcock

Anyway, my point (you know the rest of that phrase) is that this infamous Kitty Pryde/Sprite/Ariel/Shadowcat/Li'l Intangible outfit is seen again, years later, in Wolverine: First Class #12, a continuity implant tale that takes place immediatel following X-Men #150. Say goodbye to Kitty Pryde, the Disco Era.


Panels from Wolverine: First Class #12 (April 2009), script by Fred Van Lente, pencils and inks by Scott Koblish, colors by Ulises Arreola, letters by Joe Caramagna

Pull up your seats, students: Professor Logan is about to tell us the official term to refer to one of those skintight unstable-molecule outfits all our favorite superheroes (except Lockjaw) wear.



Naturally, not everybody agrees on this terminology.



By the end of the comic, and keeping with the universal truth that Cyclops is a putz, Kitty makes her choice of not only what she wants to call that yellow and black outfit, but also who she wants to be her tutor in learning how to protect a world that is sworn to hate and destroy them.



So, as we have now learned, Wolverine calls the blue/yellow and/or brown/black outfit he wears a uniform. He never, never, ever calls it a "costume."


Panels from Wolverine: First Class #15 (July 2009; three months later), script by Peter David, pencils and inks by Scott Koblish, colors by Ulises Arreola, letters by Joe Caramagna

Oh for crying out loud.

To live outside the law you must be honest and have adamantium claws

At last, the law has prevailed and justice is served! Our long national nightmare is over!



I'm shocked, shocked to find that video piracy is going on in the internet! (I think it's over there in a very tiny corner, right next to the dirty photos.) Well, as I learned in " Bruce Wayne: Murderer", there's no video piracy in prison! (Also: no crying in baseball.) Pirates are, of course, a cowardly and superstitious lot (what with the Black Spots and hooks and parrots and grog), so however harsh the sentence, this guy shoulda known he'd never get away with it, thanks to those meddling mutants. After all, it's well-known, on official record, and even more important, it's canon that Wolverine does not tolerate theft of intellectual and creative property! Bub.


Panels from Wolverine: First Class #16 (August 2009), script by Peter David; pencils, inks, and colors by Gurihiru; letters by Ris Wooton

In order to assiduously protect his own copyright, Wolverine is now pursuing action through both legal and violent means against the University of Michigan Wolverines...



...mainly for their copying of his trademark blue-and-yellow uniform.



Not to mention tackling, in state supreme court and in dirty dark back alleys, Wolverine Boots...



...Wolverine Beer...



...the Wolverine Mutual Insurance Company...



And then he'll be targeting this guy.



Out of professional respect and concern for the safety of his own eyeballs, however, Wolverine will not be issuing legal writs or claws against this guy:



So, to sum up: always remember that Wolverine is the intellectual pirate's worst enemy.


Panels from Wolverine: First Class #18 (August 2009), script by Peter David, pencils and inks by Francis Portella, colors by Jim Charalampidis, letters by Joe Caramagna

Next time you're downloading something from the internet, be careful! You'll never hear the snikt with your name on it until it's too late.

LOL Sundays #13: Every now and then somebody remembers Kitty's supposed to be Jewish

COLOR=GREY>from Wolverine: First Class #18 (October 2009), script by Peter David, pencils and inks by Francis Portella, colors by Jim Charalampidis, letters by Joe Caramagna

LOL Sundays #6: Wolverine is really, really bad at Twenty Questions

Page from Wolverine: First Class #1 (May 2008), script by Fred Van Lente, pencils and inks by Andrea Di Vito, colors by Laura Villari, letters by Simon Bowland