Thursday, November 24, 2016

Q: What do Jonah Hex and I have in common?

Thanksgiving! It existed in the Wild, Wild West!* And it exists in the far-off future! Is there anything that Thanksgiving can't do? Well, it can't make Jonah Hex happy. Probably because he can't get his jaw in good around a big-ass turkey leg.

Panels from Hex #18 (February 1987), script by Michael Fleisher, pencils by Keith Giffen, inks by Carlos Garzon, colors by Bob LeRose, letters by Milt Snapinn

By why is the Merc with a Mouth and Some Extra Melted Skin Joining It Together so down on the holly jolly holiday of Thanksgiving? We begin to find out in an extra-sized, extra-bold-panel-bordered flashback sequence, where Kid Jonah Hex discovers the wounded, timelost Rocket Raccoon trapped in a...trap, I guess. Serves him right for being taken in by the bait of a chilled bottle of Boerl & Kroff Brut 2055 Champagne.

Later, the Hex family &#$151; patriarch Woodson Hex, mother Virginia Britney Hex, and young Jonah Susan Hex settle down to eat a dee-licious Thanksgiving meal, presumably out by the cee-ment pond. Say, what do you think that holiday mystery meat is? Three guesses, and the first two don't count, especially if you guess "Spam" and then "Spam" again.

(Scary Door sting) TURNS OUT IT'S RACCOON

Hey-yo! You think that's a shocking, surprise ending? Well, it is, kinda. Also: they had stuffing instead of taters. DA DA DAHHHHHHH

Speaking of shock endings...later in that same comic, Jonah finds...himself — all taxidermed up in a sideshow warehouse. Well, that'll happen.

So, the answer to the question I posed in the title, What do Jonah Hex and I have in common?

A: We're both stuffed.

* No it didn't. But they did have giant steampunk spiders.


Jonathan Hendry said...

It took me quite a while to figure out what was going on in the Glug Glug panel. For a moment I thought the boy was held in a giant furry hand or something.

Blam said...

Is this a Funky Winkerbean crossover or is that not supposed to be 1980s Cindy Summers interviewing Hex?

Kid Kyoto said...

Wow, hu, Keith Giffin really, really, really wanted to put those days when his art looked like George Perez behind him huh?

I mean there's loose, there's stylized and then there's agressively ugly.