Today in Comics History, October 8: The Day That Goes By in a Flash

Happy Flash Day! It's the day we all get together and celebrate Really-Quick Guy Barry Allen!



from Flash: The Fastest Man Alive (2020 digi series) #8 (DC, June 2020), script by Dave Wiegosz, art by Davis Lafuente, colors by Luis Guerrero, letters by Rob Leigh

Today in Comics History, July 5, 1885: WHEEL see you in Vancouver

from Two-Gun Kid: Sunset Riders #2 (Marvel, December 1995), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Christian Gorney and Alex Maleev, inks by Michael Halblieb, colors by Michael Kraiger and Shannon Blanchard, color separations by Malibu, letters by Richard Starkings

Comics Do Shakespeare: Romeo and Juliet, Act 2: Late nights on my balcony / Thinking of you, oh-oh

..."He jests at scars that never felt a wound." Ha! Can you believe it? I'm tellin' ya, nobody starts their Romeo and Juliet scene off with that quote!


from Classics Illustrated #134 [Romeo and Juliet] (Gilberton, September 1956), pencils and inks by George Evans
OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD CLASSICS ILLUSTRATED

365 Days of Star Wars Comics, Day 233: If Ewok puns persist for more than four hours, please consult your doctor

Panels from Ewoks (1985 Marvel/Star series) #12 (March 1987), script by Dave Manak, pencils by Warren Kremer, inks by Jon D'Agostino and Jacqueline Roettcher, colors by George Roussos, letters by Grace Kremer

Monday Night Murals: I'm a pain reliever junkie / I got a Bayer on my back

Riddle me this, X-Men! What does Professor Charles Xavier take when he has a headache?

X-Men: Legacy #220-222 (March-May 2009), art by Lee Bermejo and Morry Hollowell
(Click picture to Paracetamolsize)

Why...X-Cedrin, of course!

Monday Night Murals: These comics were inwented by a little old lady in Leningrad.

Back in the day (before they invented Beta, VHS, DVDs, Blu-Ray, and stealing movies off the internet) comic book adaptations of movies were a great thing! You could experience the thrills, excitement, and Stooges of the movie, again and again and again! Because really, we didn't have any choice:



Ah, those were the days. You could buy yourself a movie comic for twelve or fifteen cents, get a Grape Nehi to drink along with it, plus a case of Dubble Bubble and a 1961 Cadillac Fleetwood and still have enough change left over to take Thelma Lou up to Mount Pilot for the picture show.

Alas, nowadays we have the DVD following the motion picture within five months later (fifteen minutes if it's a M. Night Shyamalan flick), so the days of the movie adaptation comic book are long, long over. Why, even if you were going to do a movie adaptation, you'd certainly time it to hit at the same time the film was in the theater because you've got a real small window of opportunity, right? I mean, it wouldn't make much sense to release a comic book adaptation a year later...or...twenty-seven years later after the movie, now, would it?

Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan #1-3 (June-July 2009), art by David R. Deitrick
Click image to Scotty-size (movie version)

Um. Oh wow. Let me just ask y'all...who bought this?

The cover art's by David R. Deitrick—long-time Trek and gaming fans may remember his art on the covers of the FASA Star Trek roleplaying modules:



I'm not a big fan of Deitrick's Wrath of Khan comic book covers, to be honest. It doesn't work well as an interlocking mural (to make it line up you have to leave uneven empty space between the images). Kirk looks like he's searching for his car keys (they're under Uhura!), and Spock's head seems too small for his body, which reminds me very much of Gene Szafran's artwork for the early Trek novel Spock, Messiah!



Spock's got a big chest, he's kickin' ass, takin' names, and gettin' down! It's...not a very good novel (Read Siskoid's review of Spock, Messiah!). At least the jacket became less goofy when Bantam later reprinted them:



...but nobody could outdo the sheer dazzleriffic British cover that Corgi Books gave the novel:



I do like a lot of the covers on the later, extensive Pocket Books series, if you discount the first original Next Generation novel which had the Battlestar Galactica flying upside-down on the cover.



Really, who did they think wouldn't notice that?) I mean, you wouldn't catch a movie trying to get away with that...



As far as I'm concerned, though, my favorite Trek novel covers are the original James Blish Bantam adaptations, even the ones where the Enterprise had jet trails and was flying about fifteen hundred feet over the surface of an airless planet where the away team landing party had just...um, landed:



Now, the Blish books: those were timely and vital adaptations. Each book was a novelization of six different Trek episodes (what's the word you use for short story novelizations? Noveleenizations?), perfect to read when you didn't have reruns of the original 79 episodes syndicated on your local station. Blish stripped each hour-long story down to its action and character basics, where Alan Dean Foster took completely the opposite approach with his novelizations of the animated Star Trek series:



I loved the Foster adaptations as well—he'd add so much plot and background depth to each 23-minute episode that it would become a mini-novel. In fact, while the first eight books contained adaptations of three episodes, the final two each adapted (and massively expanded) a single animated episode! Those, in the days of few-and-far-between Trek, were great fun.

Still, for goofy, over the top, far-out-space-nut adventure and excitement, no Trek covers come even close to the infamous Gold Key comic book series that ran from the late sixties until just before the release of Star Trek: The Never-Ending Story (I mean, The Motion Picture):



Sometimes I like to pretend that Fred Freiberger killed Gene Roddenberry in '69, and this is what the fourth season of Trek woulda looked like.

Of course, you can't forget the comic book where Spock fought Slott!:



Judging from the story inside, that's a misprint for Scott, but I always like to imagine it's really Spock versus Dan Slott, scripter on many, many comic books, including Spider-Man, She-Hulk, and the sorely-missed The Thing, one of my favorite super heroseries of the past few years. And I think it would go something like this:



So yeah, there's that.

Anyway, next week: a better Star Trek mural. See ya then!

Kermit the Frog, Motivational Speaker

Born in a humble swamp, top sales and marketing genius Kermit T. Frog began his career selling the magazine Frog's Life door-to-door when he was only a tadpole. Graduating from Harvard Business School and serving his country overseas in the war in Vietnam, Kermit returned to the US to work for Merrill Lynch for four years as a securities consultant. A self-taught top salesman, Kermit rose to the pinnacle of Wall Street and soon formed his own worldwide firm of investment consultants. He made his first million dollars not long afterwards. The rest, as you know, is history.

Kermit's taken time out of his busy schedule to come speak today on the subject of "never giving up," the theme of his four bestselling business and inspirational books, his weekly cable television and radio shows, and the series of globally successful audiotapes and CDs. Acknowledged as one of the leading figures not only in world business and banking but also in the self-help field, Kermit speaks at over two hundred seminars like this one every year, inspiring you to reach for the top, to never give up, to go for the gold and the glory that comes with boldly stepping into life...The Kermit Way.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to America's most popular self-help and financial advice guru, the frog who never gives up, and who will teach you how to bring that same never-say-die attitude to your own business and personal life. Author of There's No "I" in "I Give Up" and What's That Over There? Success? Let's Drive There Right Now!, the frog who will tell you what to do and how to avoid failure......Mister Kermit the Frog, Motivational Speaker!


Panels from Marvel Comics Super Special #32: The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984), script by Stan Kay, pencils by Dean Yeagle, inks by Jacqueline Roettcher, colors by Andy Yanchus, letters by Jim Novak
Join us next time when Kermit the Frog, Motivational Speaker, says:

Hey, J. Jonah Jameson!

...What is that TV show Seinfeld all about, anyway?

Panels from Uncanny X-Men #346 (August 1997), script by Scott Lobdell, pencils by Joe Madureira and Humberto Ramos, inks by Tim Townsend, colors by Steve Buccellato, letters by Richard Starkings and Comicraft

365 Days with Sue Storm, Day 5

Snowbird battles Kolomaq in a blinding snowstorm, with special guest-star Invisible Girl standing in the background. (Also featured: White Tiger and Moon Knight), in panels from Alpha Flight #6 (January 1984), script, pencils, and inks by John Byrne, letters by Michael Higgins, coloring by Andy Yanchus

(Click picture to white-sale-size)

You know, this ain't quite working out the way I'd hoped. Let's try something else. Hmmmm...how about...

Admiral Ackbar's Vacation Resort Reviews

And now it's time for another installment of

Looking for paradise? You've found it in the beautiful tropical land of San Marco, where fun, adventure, relaxation and delight are only a barefoot step on a crystal beach away. Basking in the balmy breezes of the South American Pacific coast, San Marco boasts over three hundred miles of pristine waterfront coastline, none so beautiful as Fiesta Quay, home of La Casa Fiesta, San Marco's premiere—and only—Michelin six star resort. A mere puddle jump from all major US airports, La Casa Fiesta's friendly and helpful staff are smiling to welcome you to the ultimate vacation...you'll feel so relaxed, you may never want to leave!



La Casa Fiesta features an ultra-modern seventeen-hundred room high-rise western-style hotel rising above the sapphire-blue waters of the Pacific, ranging from simple but elegant single bedrooms to our exotic and breathtaking El Fiesta Honeymoon Suite, a mutli-roomed paradise featuring your own personal valet and chef on call 24 hours a day. Want an omelette at 3 AM? Just ring for Pierre, and let him know what kind of cheese you want in it—we have over three hundred varieties in our kitchens!

Speaking of food, La Casa Fiesta boasts eighteen world-class restaurants ranging from the formal La Barque, presided over by head chef six-time European Culinary Crown winner Marie Yvonne Coulais, to our poolside snack bar "Funnybones"! In fact, every one of La Casa Fiesta's six Olympic-or-larger sized pools is equipped with bars and restaurants, including the ultra-romantic under-the-waterfall Misty Cavern Lounge.

You can bask all day by the pools or on the beach, or if you're more athletic, take to the high seas on any of the available paddleboats, jet skis, SCUBA equipment, or if you're more of a turf type, La Casa Fiesta's award-winning eighteen-hole golf course, designed by twenty-time PGA Tour-winning pro Greg Norman. Greg spends two months out of the year at La Casa Fiesta, so be sure to enquire if he's available for personal golf lessons!



But if you want to "get away from it all," La Casa Fiesta also offers private beach cabanas to give you that real-world "castaway" experience...bask on your own private stretch of beach in utter privacy. Go ahead, take off your swimsuit...nobody's watching!

It's only a short jitney hop (jitneys run every twenty minutes from six points throughout the resort) to the gorgeous and festive San Marco City Center, where you'll find delightful local artisans' shops, authentic South American cuisine, bars ranging from the raucous to the sophisticated, and even the latest European fashions in the top shops that line "La milla de oro," the ultimate shopping experience. Leave your shopping bags at home...any shop is happy to deliver directly to your room at the resort, or ship back to your home in the States for a nominal charge!

After the sun sinks down over the Pacific, party through the night at one of La Casa Fiesta's three nightclubs, or try your luck at our internationally acclaimed casino, featuring over seventy gaming tables spread out across three expansive decks overlooking the sea. Baccarat, world class poker, roulette, blackjack, craps, plus the widest variety of slot and electronic gaming machines in South America, and all the up-to-the-minute sports and race books!

Yes, La Casa Fiesta, the six-star resort that caters to your every whim...for relaxation, excitement, a vacation you'll never forget, book a holiday to San Marco's most prestigious and acclaimed resort...once you're here, you'll understand why the natives say the only time to go home is always...mañaña!

So, Admiral Ackbar...what's your review of La Casa Fiesta in San Marco, please?

Disturbing Fetishes of the Supervillains, Part 17

Not to be confused with the DC Universe's Captain Boomerang, the Marvel Universe's Boomerang uses boomerangs as weapons and...um...he comes from Australia.

Oh wait, here's a good way to tell the Earth-1 from the Earth-616 model of toss-and-return supervillain: the Marvel one apparently has an interesting obsession with...um...well, let's just take a look:


Panel from Web of Spider-Man Annual #8 (1992), script by David Michelinie, pencils by Scott McDaniel, inks by Keith Williams, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Steve Dutro


Whoa. Way too much information, Boomie. What you collect in your own time is your little secret, okay?

Well, I guess it coulda been worse. Glad there wasn't a MAX version of Boomerang where he and Blacklash fought Squirrel Girl, I guess.




(I am only six years old. Of course I find that funny!)

Yo, Magneto

Actual cover of an Spanish-language X-Men...I mean, La Patrulla-X comic:



To which the only reply can be:

Viral Catchphrases of the Twenty-First Century, as Re-enacted by Kitty Pryde

And now it's time for another exciting episode of

Viral Catchphrases of the Twenty-First Century, as Re-enacted by Kitty Pryde

Join us again soon for another thrilling installment of Viral Catchphrases of the Twenty-First Century, as Re-enacted by Kitty Pryde!

And now, it's time for another episode of "Captain Boomerang's Down-Under Riddles"!

G'day, cobbers! It's me, yer old mate Captain Boomerang, takin' some time out'a robbin' the Central City First National Bank to give y' another one o' Captain Boomerang's Down-Under Riddles! I got me some time before ol' Flash gets here an' throws me in th' cooler, so let's get riddlin', shall we?

Q: Why are a Australian marsupial and a howling time-travellin' supervillain the same thing?

Don't know, mate? Think about the question f'r a few seconds, why doncha? I'm sure the answer'll...heh heh heh...come back to y'!



Time's tickin', mate. Give up? Why are a Australian marsupial and a howling time-travellin' supervillain the same thing?

Because they're both a...



KANG-AROO!

Whoopsie! Gotta scamper, ol' Flashie's here! Be sure t' join me next time f'r another excitin' Captain Boomerang's Down-Under Riddles, kiddies!