Monday, June 15, 2009

Admiral Ackbar's Vacation Resort Reviews

And now it's time for another installment of

Admiral Ackbar's Vacation Resort Reviews


Looking for paradise? You've found it in the beautiful tropical land of San Marco, where fun, adventure, relaxation and delight are only a barefoot step on a crystal beach away. Basking in the balmy breezes of the South American Pacific coast, San Marco boasts over three hundred miles of pristine waterfront coastline, none so beautiful as Fiesta Quay, home of La Casa Fiesta, San Marco's premiere—and only—Michelin six star resort. A mere puddle jump from all major US airports, La Casa Fiesta's friendly and helpful staff are smiling to welcome you to the ultimate vacation...you'll feel so relaxed, you may never want to leave!

Admiral Ackbar's Vacation Resort Reviews


La Casa Fiesta features an ultra-modern seventeen-hundred room high-rise western-style hotel rising above the sapphire-blue waters of the Pacific, ranging from simple but elegant single bedrooms to our exotic and breathtaking El Fiesta Honeymoon Suite, a mutli-roomed paradise featuring your own personal valet and chef on call 24 hours a day. Want an omelette at 3 AM? Just ring for Pierre, and let him know what kind of cheese you want in it—we have over three hundred varieties in our kitchens!

Speaking of food, La Casa Fiesta boasts eighteen world-class restaurants ranging from the formal La Barque, presided over by head chef six-time European Culinary Crown winner Marie Yvonne Coulais, to our poolside snack bar "Funnybones"! In fact, every one of La Casa Fiesta's six Olympic-or-larger sized pools is equipped with bars and restaurants, including the ultra-romantic under-the-waterfall Misty Cavern Lounge.

You can bask all day by the pools or on the beach, or if you're more athletic, take to the high seas on any of the available paddleboats, jet skis, SCUBA equipment, or if you're more of a turf type, La Casa Fiesta's award-winning eighteen-hole golf course, designed by twenty-time PGA Tour-winning pro Greg Norman. Greg spends two months out of the year at La Casa Fiesta, so be sure to enquire if he's available for personal golf lessons!

Admiral Ackbar's Vacation Resort Reviews


But if you want to "get away from it all," La Casa Fiesta also offers private beach cabanas to give you that real-world "castaway" experience...bask on your own private stretch of beach in utter privacy. Go ahead, take off your swimsuit...nobody's watching!

It's only a short jitney hop (jitneys run every twenty minutes from six points throughout the resort) to the gorgeous and festive San Marco City Center, where you'll find delightful local artisans' shops, authentic South American cuisine, bars ranging from the raucous to the sophisticated, and even the latest European fashions in the top shops that line "La milla de oro," the ultimate shopping experience. Leave your shopping bags at home...any shop is happy to deliver directly to your room at the resort, or ship back to your home in the States for a nominal charge!

After the sun sinks down over the Pacific, party through the night at one of La Casa Fiesta's three nightclubs, or try your luck at our internationally acclaimed casino, featuring over seventy gaming tables spread out across three expansive decks overlooking the sea. Baccarat, world class poker, roulette, blackjack, craps, plus the widest variety of slot and electronic gaming machines in South America, and all the up-to-the-minute sports and race books!

Yes, La Casa Fiesta, the six-star resort that caters to your every whim...for relaxation, excitement, a vacation you'll never forget, book a holiday to San Marco's most prestigious and acclaimed resort...once you're here, you'll understand why the natives say the only time to go home is always...mañaña!

So, Admiral Ackbar...what's your review of La Casa Fiesta in San Marco, please?

Admiral Ackbar's Vacation Resort Reviews



4 comments:

jeffk said...

It may just be one joke, but dammit, it was worth it.

Jayunderscorezero said...

The anticipation only added to the enjoyment.

Jayunderscorezero said...

Also: LOL @ your twitter status.

J.R. Jenks said...

How? How did I not see that coming?