Once upon a time there was a comic book named Fables (and there still is, kinda), which coulda been a multi-season top-rated Disney-owned television series if you could actually trademark public domain characters.
And altho' Fables got a furry pawful of spin-off comics and its own handheld mobile game, it never got any action figures, Funko Pops, or bubblegum cards. Have you ever seen Fables on a bubblegum card? Hmmm? How can you say Fables is great when it's never been on bubblegum cards?
It did, however, celebrate its 100th issue with an in-comic board game.
(Click picture to King Rumbold-size)
And here's the rules. Apparently there are supplementary rules for "advanced play" on the Vertigo website, but those are by now so well buried that I couldn't locate them. My suggestion for supplementary rules: bet a funny little man your first born child that you can win the game.
The rules suggest using generic "one player piece pawn for each player" as markers, but instead of using buttons or pennies or poisoned apples, just turn the page of Fables #100, and you can cut out and use the characters from The Fables Paper Puppet Theatre as your own special tokens! Remember to get permission to use scissors from your mom or dad or evil stepmother first!
Wow, there sure are a lotta characters there for you to cut out and reenact the Last Stand of Fabletown or the War Against the Adversary or The Death of Mary Queen of Scots, but they missed the most important character from Fables, so I created a homemade piece for you to cut out and use. You're welcome.
#30: SIMPSONS COMICS (In 2007: #33) For my money (earned honestly by selling seeds door to door and hoarded carefully in my piggy bank buried in the back yard), nobody crams more fun in every issue of their entire comics line than the good folks at Bongo Comics (the comics where you don't have to be a one-eared rabbit to appreciate 'em!), especially their flagship Simpsons line: Simpsons Comics, Bart Simpson, Simpsons Super Spectacular, Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror Special, Simpsons Summer Shindig, Simpsons Winter Wingding, Edward and Mrs. Simpson, Jessica & Ashlee Simpson, O... oh wait, I've gone out of control again. The Simpsons line of comics consistently does the TV series proudwith excellent laugh per page value, suitable for all audiences. Highlights of 2008 featured Lisa discovering (using the Simpson DNA evidence!) that she's not related to the rest of the family, Marge joins a roller derby, a fast-paced series of Hans Christian Andersen parodies, and two, count 'em, two Flash parody covers! Dense with jokes and consistently visually inventive, the Simpsons family of fine comics has just passed their fifteenth anniversary and shows every sign of going strong for many more: long may they provoke giggles.
#29: COMICS FOR THE iPHONE Your little stuffed bull about town is nothing without his snazzy cellular phone, and as you all know I'm a big, big little fan of fine products from Apple computer. So, in addition to not leaving home without my American Express, I always tuck my Apple iPhone into my Hello Kitty backpack. I can stay in touch with all my friends, I can listen to my music, I can watch videos, I can get my email, I can surf the web, and I can read comics. What?!? Have I lost my mind? Comics on your phone?!? Why, shore! One of the most fun things you can do with the iPhone (after having your calls tapped by AT&T!) is downloading applications or "apps" either on your phone or via the iTunes store, and a number of companies are digitizing and selling their comics in iPhone format for reading on the go. These won't replace the floppy comic format any time soon...swipe with your finger to flip through each panel, presented by itself, frequently trimmed or cut in half, but perfectly readable. You can buy, mostly for 99¢ a pop, Bone, Peter David issues of Star Trek (and in perfect fairness, they've corrected the technical problem I complained about 
#23: SUPERGIRL: COSMIC ADVENTURES IN THE 8TH GRADE Eager for a female hero who doesn't show off her belly button? Have I got a book for you, pal! One of the highlights in DC's mixed bag of comics for younger audiences (Tiny Titans and Super Friends are a little too young-oriented for even this six-year-old little stuffed bull), the brand-new Supergirl comic strips the excess baggage from the Kara Zor-El mythos and polishes it to an animated-style brilliance: she's still the cousin of Superman, she's still disguised as Linda Lee in a world that doesn't understand her, and she's struggling with her toughest challenge: fitting in with her school peers. It's a kid's book but charming and entertaining for all ages: dialogue and situations that are actually funny instead of merely silly, expressive and stylized artwork by Eric Jones that makes Supergirl actually look like a young teenage girl. The angst is minor and played for giggles: this is a comic of joy and happiness, bright and enthusiastic, and I love it lots. Supergirl is only a six-issue miniseries, so seriously, folks, buy, enjoy, and support this comic so DC'll give us some more adventures of the most entertaining and enjoyable Supergirl in years.
FABLES #74: This comic is fun. Well, about this point in a fantasy Vertigo series, you begin to wonder if the series is running down. Not that I've read, but we certainly seem to be moving into Act V here, aren't we? Bill Willingham has thrown us a curveball in the past dozen or so issues with "The Good King" and now halfway through "War and Pieces": the war against the Adversary is going very, very well indeed. There's some nice character work in here and some clever plot devices: using Sleeping Beauty's magical curse as biological warfare is a lovely touch, and who can resist the sight of a rabbit riding a tortoise-mounted machine gun into battle! But the Fables battle has been so relatively easy that I keep on waiting for things to go wrong, for the other glass slipper to drop. Looks like it's coming soon, with the next issue blurb in this one hinting at dark days ahead. Fables is still one of the best and cleverest fantasy comics on the market today, and it's a credit to Willingham and company that the concept is still fresh and a delight six years in. May it never outstay its welcome.
SIMPSONS SUPER SPECTACULAR #7: This comic is fun. I'm hardly ever disappointed by a Bongo Simpsons comic, but I hold Simpsons Super Spectacular to a higher standard: as the Simpson "comic book that parodies comic books," it's got to be both funny on the Simpsons-TV level as well as introducing clever references (without being too obscure) to various comic book series and characters inside the stories. Like most of the issues in this series, it's a fine balance but this one hits it cleanly out of the Springfield Isotopes ball park. There's two stories here: the first is a Bartman tale that places lovable loser Gil in the role of Deadman, trying to help Bart and Milhouse fight crime after his until demise. It hadn't hit me until this issue that the Bartman tales are essentially the Bongo version of Alan Moore's Top Ten series: a town where everyone is a superhero or villain, from Grandpa to Apu, but with larfs: there's at least a couple giggles on each page, and it's a dense read; this isn't a comic you're going to zip through in five minutes. Story number two is my favorite, tho': a Radioactive Man tale that's a loving pastiche of the Mort Weisinger Superman stories, right down to the strange transformations, including a brilliant disturbing-looking version of Radioactive Man drawn in the Swanderson style. My favorite part of this series is that the writers and artists both know and love their source material, but it's not so dense that you must know it inside and out to "get" the story. And say, speaking of dense stories relying on source material...
BATMAN #678: This comic is fun. I'd like to say "Whatever Grant Morrison's on, Mama Bull won't let me take that," but with the newest issue in the "Batman: RIP" storyline, it looks like what Mister Morrison is on is old comics. It's almost impossible to know all the Silver Age references in RIP by itself (
ASTONISHING X-MEN #25: This comic is sorta fun. The comic book known as Joss Whedon's X-Men has come to an end with a big-ass bullet and the departure of Kitty Pryde (for a story cycle or two, at least), so ring up the curtain for Warren Ellis's premiere on the title. There's a lot of clever and fun ideas going on here: a killer who's an artificial mutant (with a nice, Phineas-J.-Whoopee-style lecture by Hank McCoy on what makes a mutant a mutant), the return of Queen Storm to the X-Men, and the lightly humored search by newest Kitty/Jubilee archetype Hisako Ichiki for her codename. The dialogue is fast, clever, and often funny (including The Best Line of the Week: "[Logan] says that if my name's 'Armor' then his name is 'Claws' and Ms. Frost's name is 'Brain' and Rogue's name is 'Suck.'"), and this, even more than the other "reinvented" X-Titles, feels like primal X-Men. So what's the problem—why not full-fledged fun? Main problem: nothing really happens. There's a mystery set up, but there's little to no action in this first chapter, meaning precious little reason for me to pick up issue #26. Sure, it'll probably be better paced in the trade, but give me a reason to buy the book each month, woncha? That and the reversal, yet again, on the X-Men's thinking on costumes and uniforms, leads me to believe that Astonishing's new arc has some promise, but I have to grade this "I" for incomplete.
BILLY BATSON AND THE MAGIC OF SHAZAM #1: This comic is fun. In the words of Mark Knopfler: "That's the way you do it." I've been a fan of some of DC's all-ages comics, especially Batman Adventures and Justice League Unlimited, but even tho' I'm only six, more recent offerings like Tiny Titans and Superfriends are definitely written for kids and rely just on charm and cuteness to appeal to adults. This new series of Captain Marvel (the real Big Red Cheese) adventures doesn't rely on simple grammar or learning lessons at the end of the story, but instead takes its cue from jeff Smith's Monster Society of Evil comic of last year: with its cute little Mary Marvel, this is a direct sequel. Written and drawn with charm and energy by Mike Kunkel (Herobear and the Kid) in a beautifully colored and shaded style that is absolutely unlike any other superhero comic on the stands. It's funny: Cap learns a lesson from his sister in doing things the easy way when he tries to save a train from disaster, and he takes brotherly revenge by sneakily getting Mary into trouble during a parent/teacher conference in which Captain Marvel is posing as Billy's dad. It's interesting to think about how Captain Marvel has in many ways evolved into a character with intentional kid-appeal—the 1940s version of the character often handled themes and ideas that were more complicated than their competition. Maybe it's the wish-fulfillment of being young and able to turn into a mighty adult hero. Whatever the reason, Kunkel captures it well. His Billy Batson is beautifully drawn, cleverly dialogued, very well-paced (any one of these pages is an excellent textbook for understanding motion and movement from panel to panel), and, like Simpsons Super Spectacular, it's dense: this is no swift five minute read; both adults and kids can read and re-read this again and again. Any quibbles? Well, a reliance on dialogue in the cryptic Monster Society Code in the first few pages might frighten off a newcomer (a handy guide is provided on page one), and no doubt some purists might complain about the new Black Adam (a kid bully, in the not-nice useage of the word). But any comic book that brings such great grins to my little stuffed face—and where Shazam the Wizard reminds me of Asterix's druid Getafix—is a comic book I loudly declare the most fun comic of the week.
#30: RIFFTRAX 2007 was the year Mystery Science Theater 3000 came back in many different forms: Flash cartoons by Jim Mallon, Joel Hodgson and company's Cinematic Titanic, and DVDs by The Film Crew. But if you ever watched and howled at an episode of MST3K and wished they could do the same for a big-budget cinematic stinker, then zip on over to the 
#29: THE LAUGH-OUT-LOUD CATS In 2007, cats took the internet by storm. People showed off their bad cats, put stuff on their cats, and displayed photos of cats who looked like Hitler. (Paging Art Spiegelman!) The blog 
#28: 52 The sales and critical success of DC's weekly comics experiment continues into 2008 with the sequel Countdown, but 52 lasted well into 2007 (wrapping up, appropriately, on 5/2), spinning together the yarns of the missing year of the DC Universe. The dénouement was less impressive than the set-up: I'd expected more of the individual stories to end more elegantly than abruptly, and the unnecessary four-issue World War III miniseries was left to sweep up some of the pieces that didn't get addressed in 52 proper. Nevertheless, there were some dandy high-adventure moments right up to the end, culminating in the universe-a-bornin' Week 52, which set up not only the new multiverse but also the concept of the new Booster Gold series. Seeing how DC is already blowing up some of their 52 Earths in Countdown spinoffs, maybe they shoulda started with more, but for me, 52 is and was worlds enough.
#27: I SHALL DESTROY ALL THE CIVILIZED PLANETS I don't care how many oddball or wacky comics you think you've read: until you've dived into the works of Fletcher Hanks, you ain't seen nothing yet, bubbo! Hanks's earnest but over-the-top superhero and jungle adventure comics are grisly, crude, primal and powerful, with wildly deformed villains and earnest heroes meting out punishments so cruel and unusual you'll cackle with glee. The weed of crime bears bitter fruit, especially when you have a giant golden octopus shoved down your throat or are marooned on a high-gravity planet of gold and jewels. This is a gorgeous package all over, from the stunning minimalist cover designed by Jacob Covey, to the colorful, bright, and brilliant reproduction of the stories. Editor Paul Karasik's somber but compelling autobiographical strip on finding Hanks's heir rounds out the book, and the only sad part is that there's only a handful more Hanks stories that aren't collection, so a sequel is unlikely. Want a taste? Stroll on over to Karasik's 
#26: FUTURAMA: BENDER'S BIG SCORE Return with us now to the thrilling days of tomorrowyear, where Bender the robot declares "I'm back, baby!" at the beginning of this made-for-DVD movie. In fact, they're all back: Fry, Leela, Zoidberg, the Professor, Amy, Hermes, and even Hypnotoad in a plot that has something to do with stealing the treasures of history, naked aliens, Charles DeGaulle's head, multiple Benders, and the secret to time travel tattooed on Fry's ass. "Well, it had to be somewhere," Fry shrugs. The entire original cast (and mucho guest stars) are back for the first of four direct-to-DVD movies (later to be shown on Comedy Central), and if you're a Futurama fan like me, it's not a moment too soon. Like the best of the original series, there's laughs-a-plenty as well as a touching subplot of Fry's undying love for Leela which'll tug at the strings of your heart as surely as Bender's tugging at your wallet.
#25: FABLES I'm a Bully-come-lately to Fables (and its companion book, Jack of Fables), but thanks to rave reviews by pal Miss Jenn and the purchase of a stack of trade paperbacks to get me up to speed, I'm a Fableholic, which is a little like an alcoholic, except with comic books and fewer twelve-step meetings. Most of 2007 has been taken up with ongoing chapters of "The Good Prince," which shows the hero Flycatcher has become as he takes the war against the Adversary back to the enemy, and Willingham is deft at creating mild but compelling cliffhangers at the end of every continuing comic that keeps the pace moving swiftly and this little stuffed reader eager for the next issue. A highlight of the year, however, was issue #64's peek at the marriage of Bigby and Snow and the birthday party of their children, crossing over with Jack of Fables in a most unexpected way.
#24: BLUE BEETLE I'll bet you dollars to donuts (mmm, donuts) that despite their affection for the late Ted Kord Blue Beetle, most fans couldn't point to a truly great (and fun) Blue Beetle series. Now we've got one. The new series has wisely tread its own path (while not ignoring the legacy of the past) and teenage Jaime Reyes is one of the most appealing new superheroes introduced in the 21st century, with believable dialogue and funny, exciting adventures. Blue Beetle is by no means high superhero art, but it passes the test of what we all liked Ted Kord for anyway: it's darn fun.
#23: DOCTOR WHO SERIES 3 Exit Rose, enter Martha as the Doctor takes off on a third season of time-and-space traveling adventure. Freema Agyeman is wonderful as the competent and level-headed Martha Jones—pity only that she's shoehorned into what seems to be leftover Rose-infatuated-with-the-Doctor plots. Yes, yes, Russell Davies: we do know David Tennant is dreamy. But every hitchhiker on the TARDIS (Jack Harkness included) doesn't have to have a crush on Number Ten. That said, a solid season highlighted by a visit to Shakespeare, a sublime two-parter in which the Doctor gives up his Time Lord mantle to become human, and quite simply one of the finest hours of Who ever, the scary and beautiful "Blink." Heck, I even loved the over-the-top Master and the clichéd but effective way Martha brings him down and rescues the Doctor. And so farewell, Martha, and hello (again) Donna, as we look forward to Series Four. Less of the doe-eyes this time around, I think. And hope.
#22: I KILLED ADOLF HITLER Ask any head of programming at the History Channel and he'll agree: "You can't go wrong with a story about Hitler." The newest graphic novel by Norwegian cartoonist Jason features Hitler as a prominent character, but it's not really about Hitler escaping from his time to ours any more than it's solely about time machines that take fifty years to recharge. As with most of Jason's work, even the humorous scenes are leveled with a sense of quiet melancholy and ennui, and his characteristic anthropomorphic animal characters are as real as the people on the street. Take a good look at that guy you passed on the corner—coulda been Hitler, don't you think? Truth in disclosure: This book is published by Fantagraphics, so see the entry for I Shall Destroy above for my personal disclaimer.
#21: BATMAN Grant Morrison's metavention of the Dark Knight continued with some hit and miss stories in 2007: there's been a few too many "The Three Batmen" stories for my comfort (I keep thinking they'll read better in the trade) and although they were entertaining, his contributions to the "Resurrection of R'as al Ghul" crossover event seemed to derail the momentum of a fine book going through a new renaissance. But the tent pole that holds up one of DC's flagship titles was Morrison's "Club of Heroes" trilogy, resurrecting a plot and characters from the goofy but fondly-remembered 1950s era of swashbuckling, globetrotting, planet-hopping Batman, in a murder mystery with charm and bite, not to mention a few starring moments for Robin, which is a wonderful sight in these days of "Batman is no longer a dick." I can but live in hope that Morrison will bring back the Zebra Batman. Maybe in 2008.
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