Tuesday, April 30, 2024

Anyway, Here's WonderWalpurgis Eve: Dirty, Hairy

Hey, just what does Walpurgis Eve have against guys named Carl? Granted, unlike our first one, this one's spelled with a K (thus making him one of the most evil Carls). 'Tis Walpurgis Eve in the little Balkan town of Supersticia, and Karl has completely neglected all his pre-Walpurgis Night duties: he hasn't done his Walpurgis Eve shopping or gift wrapping, he hasn't put up the Walpurgis Night lights on his house, and he certainly didn't get out his LPs with the Walpurgis Eve Carols. No, our Karl has been too busy creepily lusting after the beautious maiden (yeah, she wishes!) Bertha, but Karl has two deep Forehead Lines of Doom™. Bertha is an honor student in phrenology (and her parents have the bumper sticker to prove it), so of course she rejects the only slightly-more-horrible-than-normal-for-these-type-of-comics Karl in favor or...eh, just about anybody else. Luckily, Karl has a plan: he would become a Men's Rights Activist.

from "The Demons of Walpurgis Mountain" in The Beyond #5 (Ace, July 1951), pencils by Mike Sekowsky

It's Walpurgis Eve (natch!) and Karl summons the Powers of Darkness by standing on top of a mountain during a lightning storm and singing opera about his spear and magic hewmet, and what the hey, the Powers of Darkness are in a pretty good mood and so they breathe on Karl, and just after they've been eating Nacho Cheese Doritos® Locos Tacos, available now at your local Taco Bell, and open late for midnight snacking! Make a run for the border! BONG!

Karl discovers that his trademark ugliness (known in the village as karlpugnant) has been wiped away by his encounter with the Agents of Evil. What he didn't know, of course, is that agents usually get 15%, so this may not be the fantastic deal with the devil he originally imagined it would.

Oh, he turned into a werewolf. Well, naturally. Say, have I mentioned how nice the coloring is in this story? The coloring in this story is nice.

the entire town puts to a vote that Karl and his house and shop be destroyed by fire. Geez, who died and made you Shirley Jackson, folks? Now cracks a noble werewolf, folks.

Take us out with an appropriate song, Satellite of Love!

"Where, Oh Werewolf?" from Mystery Science Theater 3000: Werewolf, season 9, episode 4 (Best Brains/The Sci-Fi Network, April 28, 1998), starring Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett; music and lyrics by Michael J. Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl

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