Today in Comics History, July 24: Happy birthday, Lynda Carter!

theme from Wonder Woman (Warner Bros. Television, 1975), composed by Charles Fox and Norman Gimbel
Get out your ceremonial Amazoian attire and dance around with your kanga: it's the birthday of actor, singer, songwriter, model, activist and wonderful woman Lynda Carter!


from Fifty Who Made DC Great one-shot (DC, 1985)

A Month of... Celebrities in Comics, Day 31: Jane, stop this crazy thing...called love

Well, this here's now the unexpectedly final day of A Month of... Celebrities in Comics, so what better or more obvious way for me to wrap up the feature (for now) than with the Best Celebrity I Ever Met: Ms. Jane Wiedlin!


There's been plenty of celebrities playing themselves in comic books, from Pat Boone and Bob Hope to Chuck Norris and Mr. T. (Not to mention Adam West and Stan Lee!!) But the one celebrity-as-comic-star book I lined up overnight at the comic book shop for is the delightful Jane, who had a very short-lived series from Image in the early 2010s. (Then again, which of us can say we didn't have an Image series at one point or another? Sit down, Ballistic!


covers of Jane Wiedlin's Lady Robotika #1-2 (Image, July-August 2010), pencils and inks by Bill Morrison, colors by Rachelle Rosenberg
I've covered Jane Wiedlin in comics previously but I only hinted at the sheer insanity that is Jane Wiedlin's Lady Robotika, which is kinda a sci-fi/cyberpunk/bondage/rock musical comic book co-written by Jane and Bill Morrison from Bongo Comics. Jane plays a perky punky rock grrrl (so, not really flexing her comic book dramatic chops here).


Out in the crowd she spots a mysterious handsome sexy stranger who immediately captures her attention and affection. Note: the following two panels might have been very slightly edited for content.


Yes Jane, lay off the greyhounds!

Later, Jane is mysteriously abducted by aliens! With a special guest appearance by Homer Simpson! BONGO COMICS CROSSOVER!


PAGE O' EXPOSITION:


Turns out the aliens are really big Jane Wiedlin fans (that is. totally believable) after having followed Earth pop culture for years and adapting their own culture after it and hey wait a minute this is the plot of Galaxy Quest and they've kidnapped Jane to perform a big concert on their far-away world in a completely different solar system many light-years away. Even so, Ticketmaster is charging a $20 concession fee.


But suppose Jane doesn't agree to doing the concert?


Oh, okay. That makes sense. As does Jane waking up on the journey to find she's grown a cybernetic arm! Who among us can say that's never happened to us? Sit down, Ballistic.


In issue #2, Jane and that other guy who's not me arrives on the alien's planet, which is a cross between The Jetsons and Itchy and Scratchy World. Everybody remember: we're parked in the Belinda Carlisle lot!


What's the terrible frightening Scary Door/Twilight Zone twist to this seemingly perfect paradise? Turns out they're man slaves! Man, I can just see Jane Wiedlin leading a planetwide rebellion!


Hey look Jane's cyber-arm is a weapon and wait why is there a dinosaur dressed as Elvis maybe you shouldn't have laid off the greyhounds this week Jane.


Then Jane's tossed into intergalactic jail. It's the same type of jail that we first see Jyn Erso in at the beginning of Rogue One. Coincidence? I think not.


What happens next, Jane Wiedlin? Wellllll...we shall never know, because the series ended with #2. Personally, I was hoping for a big musical number and then a rebellion featuring laser guitars and a guest appearance by the rest of the Go-Go's around ish 12, but that'll never happen now. Along with Sonic Disruptors, AllStar Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder, and Kyle Baker's The Shadow, it's one of the lost storylines that shall never be completed, except in my head when Bull-Or, the mighty stuffed bull, swings by the planet to team up with Jane and together they ride off into the starset. Ah well.

Play us off, Jane Wiedlin as Lady Robotika!


"Ray Gun" by Jane Wiedlin from the Lady Robotika comic soundtrack (2008)
Wait, is that red cup full of greyhound?

A Month of... Celebrities in Comics, Day 16: But Björk Can Hurt You!

Well, this one spiraled a bit out of control. I was originally going to just post the panels immediately below and comment "Hey, it's Icelandic pop pixie (and perennial favorite in the Bull household) Björk!" and call it a day.


Panels from Hawkeye (2012 series) #18 (May 2014), script by Matt Fraction, pencils and inks by Annie Wu, colors by Matt Hollingsworth, letters by Chris Eliopoulos
Of course I've spent some time looking for more appearances of Björk in comics, but except for a couple album cover depictions in MAD magazine, she hasn't. (And for the purposes of 365 Days of Celebrities in Comics, MAD doesn't count.) But didja know that in addition to providing the song "Army of Me" to the soundtrack of the well-I-liked-it 1995 movie Tank Girl, Björk was also considered to play the part of Jet Girl in the film? She turned it down, so our loss is the Naomi Watts's gain. Here, from the original T.G. comic, are (L-R) Jet Girl, Sub Girl, and Tank Girl. Oh man that coulda been Björk!


Panels from "The Australian Job, Part One", originally published in Deadline circa 1989 (could be in issue 7, 8, or 9), script by Alan Martin and Jamie Hewlett, pencils and inks by Jamie Hewlett, letters by Alan Martin. Reprinted in Tank Girl (1991 series) #2 (Dark Horse, June 1991). Color edition published in Tank Girl Graphic Novel (Penguin Books, 1991), new color by Chris Chalenor.
By the way, I suppose you're wondering who's narrating that flashback in the Hawkeye panels above, or to put it more directly, which Marvel character was lucky enough to meet Björk? Why, that's one of my favorite Earth-616 long-time supporting characters, Harold H. Harold.


Matt Fraction didn't invent Harold, though — he was created by Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan back in the funky-bad seventies in everyone's favorite blood-sucker of a comic classic, Tomb of Dracula!


Panels from Tomb of Dracula #37 (October 1975), script by Marv Wolfman, pencils by Gene Colan, inks and colors by Tom Palmer, letters by Joe Rosen
Harold's a hack hwriter (okay, I'm gonna nip that joke in the bud before it gets any further) tapping out supernatural stories for a pulp press editor, to whom he promises an (ahem) Interview with a Vampire!


And yes, this comic was published nearly a year before Interview with a Vampire, Anne Rice's first Lestat novel. Once again: Comics Did It First!

Hey, that is a good question, HHH. Where do you get a green suit vampire to interview?


Well, you're not just gonna run across one...oh, wait, yes you are. Then he can shove the Prince of Vampires into his car and take him home, just like a Little Caesar's Pan Pizza with free Crazy Bread! (Free Crazy Bread may not be available at all locations.)


Do you want Draculas, Harold? Because that's how you get Draculas.


Later, Harold H. Harold becomes a hvampire, but I think you coulda seen that one coming up the winding, cobbled ancient street of downtown Transylvania City.

In conclusion: Björk was once in one comic book! And if you've haven't figgered out what the meaning of the post title is yet...read more Silver Age Batman!


Cover of The Brave and the Bold (1955 series) #81 (December 1968-January 1969), pencils and inks by Neal Adams, letters by Gaspar Saladino (?)
Björk, won't you?

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 49: Peter Parker Picks a Peck of Puberty

Jolly Jonah Jameson has "invited" amazing Peter Parker and sassy Gwen Stacy to accompany him to the Savage Land for a circulation-boosting story on the Earth-616's real-life Jurassic Park! So what's the purpose of this trip, aside from getting Gil Kane to draw some dandy dinosaurs? Well, Peter Parker's gonna take photographs...


Panels from Amazing Spider-Man #103 (December 1971), script by Roy Thomas, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Frank Giacoia, letters by Artie Simek
..and Gwen Stacy's gonna


VA-VA-VOOM!

Please note that a more modern Marvel Ms., Jessica Jones, turned down the a very similar sort of adventure. Aw. But even she knows the cause-and-effect that has become such a popular trope in the Marvel Universe referring to what we what happened to Gwen not that long afterwards. Probably a smart decision, Jessica.


Panels from Alias #24 (September 2003), script by Brian Michael Bendis, pencils and inks by Michael Gaydos, colors by Matt Hollingsworth, letters by Cory Petit

A Grand Day Out: All Is Full of Björk

Hooray! I am at the Björk "Mid-Career Retrospective" exhibit here at the Museum of Modern Arts (we savvy New Yorkers call it "MoMa") in beautiful midtown Manhattan. I've been waiting to go to this exhibit all spring, and at last I'm here! Sadly, you cannot go. Because it closed yesterday. But I'm willing to share my photos with you! I hope that's a fair compromise in the face of an otherwise-Björkless lament by you.


Björk-tinued after the jump!

Today in Comics History, February 14: He hit the jackpot

Peter Parker got a Valentine? Who do you think it came from? Aunt May? Doc Ock? Green Goblin? J. Jonah Jameson?


Guess agwen, true believers!


Luckily, Pete and his giant fingernails already has those little hotdogs wrapped in pastry out, so Gwen doesn't have to wait to nosh. (It's not a real proper party without itty bitty pigs in a blanket.)


I couldn't say no to that question...could you? And more important...does Pete?


from Spider-Man: Blue #6 (Marvel, April 2003), script by Jeph Loeb, pencils and inks by Tim Sale, colors by Steve Buccellato, letters by Richard Starkings and Wes Abbott
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Here's hoping your Valentine's Day winds up just as lovely. And with less of that being-tossed-off-a-bridge thing.

Fear Today, Gwen Tomorrow

Hey, check it out...Gwen Stacy is back!



Yeah, I think you could be a little more diplomatic about her re-appearance, Spidey. "Oh no, the love of my life is back! If only I wasn't married to that pesky Mary Jane! Maybe I should call Mephisto and..." Yeah, that's never a good idea.





Luckily for Petey and his self-proclaimed lousy love life...oh, cry me a river, Parker, with your harem of fabulous lookin' babes...Gwen has popped up not in Manhattan but in Crystal Cove, "The Most Hauntedest Place on Earth." Headband, stripey top, and all! Except this time she's not hanging around with Mary Jane and Harry and a guy named Flash. Nope, The Divine Ms. S. has a whole new posse:



Fred! Velma! Daphne! Shaggy! And, cowering somewhere behind the seats there, presumably Scooby-Doo...they're all hanging around the all-new, all-cartoony Gwen Stacy, and frankly, who wouldn't? Well, actually, since Fred is infatuated by her (naturally), Daphne's not too happy. But as we have seen in the past, redheads don't like Gwen dating their men.



Let's face it...how could anybody resist those pupiless purple eyes?



Okay, okay, I must not tell lies. That really isn't Gwen Stacy, but Alice May, a character from the newest incarnation of TV's longest-running teen-and-their-talking-dog mystery/adventure series, Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated. It's the one where the gang investigates a series of mysterious, unexplainable hauntings which later prove to be somebody under a rubber mask. You know, that one episode.

Updated for our modern, Facebooked, Twittering, KFC Double-Down'd twenty-first century, Mystery Incorporated features a season-long story arc in which our favorite young investigators unravel a series of mysteries only to be confronted by the biggest one of all: what happened to the years-earlier, original Mystery Incorporated...and their talking bird, Professor Pericles?




This is also the Scooby series that features the romantic entanglements of Fred and Daphne as they attend the school prom...



Why, even Velma and Shaggy are dating! (Although Scooby is exceptionally jealous.)



In the end, it all winds up pretty much the way you'd expect, with a teenager holding a shivering Great Dane...



...a kicky musical number to accompany a chase through the hallways and corridors...



And, when the villain is revealed, it's (surprise!) Gwen Stacy Alice May, complete with spider-pattern outfit and a snarled "And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling...classmates!"



So, there you go: the producers and creators of Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated—such big Spider-Man fans that they based a villain on everyone's favorite bridge-faller, Gwen Stacy. But then again, maybe we shouldn't be so surprised that Gwen has shown up in Crystal Cove. After all, as we've seen in other episodes, it just happens to be the hometown of Pebbles Flintstone and Bamm-Bamm Rubble:



...not to mention Suzie Chan of the Amazing Chan Clan:



Also, there is inadvertent surfing on gravestones.



Gwen Stacy, back from the dead? Frankly, even if she's a villainess, I'm happy to have her among the living yet again.

Special bonus extra-cute screen shot: Flashback Toddler Gwen! So kawaii!



Ah, Gwen. You can come back to life in my town anytime.