BatrocTober, Day 7: "BATROC HAS BEEN EATEN BY A GRUE"

from the side-scroller fighting video game (inhale) The Amazing Spider-Man and Captain America in Dr. Doom's Revenge! (exhale), (1989, Paragon Software, designed by Mark E. Seremet)
"You see BATROC."
PUNCH BATROC
"That thing isn't here."
HIT BATROC
"That thing isn't here."
KICK BATROC
"'Alors!' Batroc declares, as he twirls his waxed mustache. 'A challainge!'"


In 1996, Computer Gaming World declared Spiderman/Captain America the 27th-worst computer game ever released. But hey, there was a manual with OHOTMU-type stats inside. Looking up these stats served as your copy-protection. Oh, I hate that.


Also included: a comic book setting up the plot of the game, featuring TWO whole panels of Batroc!



from Doctor Doom's Revenge one-shot (Marvel, 1989), script by Danny Fingeroth, pencils by Rich Buckler, inks by Tony DeZuniga, colors by Paul Becton, letters by Rick Parker
All this is just to say I want a real Batroc fighting game.

BatrocTober, Day 6: Battle of the ESL Guys

from The Defenders (1972 series) #64 (Marvel, October 1978), script by David Anthony Kraft, breakdowns by Sal Buscema, finishes by Don Perlin, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by John Costanza

BatrocTober, Day 5: Okay, you didn't need the slur on the French here, but otherwise...

house ad for Crazy from Marvel Comics cover-dated March 1980

BatrocTober, Day 4: Ya gotta give him this: Batroc doesn't surrender

from Captain America (1968 series) #150 (June 1972), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Sal Buscema, figure inks by John Verpoorten, background inks by Tony Mortellaro, letters by Artie Simek

BatrocTober, Day 3: "Savoir Faire is everywhair!"

from Captain America and Batroc one-shot (Marvel, May 2011), script by Kieron Gillen, pencils and inks by Renato Arlem, colors by Nick Filardi, letters by Nate Piekos

BatrocTober, Day 2: Second day and we're already disrespecting Batroc

from Deadpool (2013 series) #10 (July 2013), script by Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn, pencils and inks by Mike Hawthorne, colors by Val Staples, letters by Joe Sabino

BatrocTober, Day 1: Entair ze Leapair

Ghouls? Goblins? Draculas? Pshaw. Anybody can choose those creeps as their theme for a full month of October spotlighting. But I'm not just anybody. That's why I welcome you to Day 1 of

BATROCTOBER!

from "30 Minutes to Live!" in Tales of Suspense #75 (Marvel, March 1966), script by Stan Lee, layouts by Jack Kirby, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by John Tartaglione, letters by Artie Simek
This month, all month: the hop-on-pop antics of America's only Frenchman, Batroc ze Leapair! Pleas excuse me for one moment while I add the word "Batroc" to my spell-checker, won't you? Anyway, here's M. de Leaper's very first appearance!


Yes, jump into action every day in October right here with...BatrocTober! You'll be sayin' "Merci!" Sacre orange!

Liar, liar, star-spangled pants on fire

Captain America can not only fight Batroc ze Leapair, he can also diss him:


Panels from Captain America and...[Iron Man] #635 (October 2012), script by Cullen Bunn, pencils and inks by Barry Kitson, colors by Javier Tartaglia, letters by Joe Caramagna

Ouch! Why do you have to hit a guy where it hurts, Cap?

Not quite meanwhile, across 1992's Marvel Annuals, the Top Ten Villains for each superhero and team were spotlighted. Including Cap's. Huh! Shall we take a look at Captain America Annual #11? Oui! We zhall. Let's begin the countdown!

Starts off simple enough with The Serpent Society at number 10 and Flag Smasher at number 9...


Panels from "Captain America's Top 10 Villains" in Captain America Annual #11 (1992), script by George Caragonne, pencils and inks by Larry Alexander, colors by Larry Alexander, letters by Jon Babcock

It then continues with #8: Doctor Faustus and #7: Viper. And then, as I'm sure you can predict, at number six:



Ah ha! I knew Cap was lying. To one of comicdom's favorite villains, Batroc the Leaper! Shame on you, Steve Rogers! In the words of popular progressive rock group and umlaut-hoarders Blue Õyster Cult: "Come on baby / Don't smear the leaper / Baby take my hand / Don't smear the leaper.

(For the record: #5: Arnim Zola. #4: Baron Zemo I and II. #3: The Skeleton Crew. (Who?) #2: Crossbones. And the number one of Captain America's top villains...Stilt-Man! Naw, i'm jus' joshin' with ya. It's the Red Skull.)

In my usual attempt to explain the error logically in order to claim a Marvel No-Prize (if the statute of limitations isn't over on this one), I'm gonna guess that Cap was lying about Batroc not being on his Top Ten list—just to demoralize our French pal. (Swift and clever thinking, Cap!) After he beat Batroc, Cap went back to his room in Avengers Mansion Tower and re-arranged the list on his bulletin board for the third time that week. He's still not certain what position in which to put Turner D. Century.

So, let's salute the Sentinel of Liberty! Keep lyin', Cap...I mean, keep flyin'!

Same Story, Different Cover: Sixties Cap attacks; Seventies Cap runs away

L: Captain America #105 (September 1968), art by Jack Kirby, Dan Adkins, and John Romita, Jr.
R: Marvel Super Action #7 (April 1978), art by Ron Wilson and Joe Sinnott

(Click picture to Batrocize)

Want more? Read all about the genesis of the Captain America #105 cover!

Dizaines d'une sorte No. 167, spécial pour le 14 juillet: Might as well leap!

Bonjour, mes amis! Eet is moi, Batroc ze Leapair! And eef zair is a day which makes ze Leapair's heart jump jus' that petit extra, eet is today, Bastille Day! Ah, Bastille Day, where there zhall be much rejoicing in ze streets of ma beloved Paree, ze petite enfants running zhruogh ze parks zetting off firecrackers. Blam, zey go! Boom! It ees alzo ze day when le président, 'e ceases with ze ethnic slurs for just ze one day. Pairhaps un jolie mademoiselle zhall spy Batroc as 'e drinks 'is café au lait, lonely at ze restaurant where 'e bides away ze Bastille Day by 'imself. Pairhaps she zhall step up to Batroc and she zhall say..."Bonjour, m'sieur! Je m'appelle Marie. Ca va?" And zen I zhall say, 'Ca va." And I will sweep hair into my arms and make ze mad passionate love to her entire body. Because Batroc ees not only ze leapair...Batroc is also ze lovair!

While Batroc ees doing that zhing, merci enjoy zee le blog de petit taureau, for 'e 'as allowed me...Batroc ze Leapair...to once again create a Dizaines d'une sorte for all of you, all featuring l'Tour Eiffel! Eet even begins with Batroc 'imself on one of ze covairs! Zo remembair...Bastille Day, eet is not just for ze cutting of zee neck...eet is alzo for ze beating of ze heart!











Regardez celui-ci également. Et.

(Sacre orange! Zair is more Dizaines d'une sorte dans cet endroit.)

Dizaines d'une sorte, No. 58, spécial pour le 14 juillet: Ten Lords A-Leaping

'Allo, all you silly Americain pig-dogs! It is I, Batroc ze Leapair, bounding into your world and into ze heart of your lovely ladies. Ah, I zhall make the sweet love to zem, I zhall, because...'ow you say?...I am not merely Batroc ze Leapair...I am alzo Batroc ze Lovair.

Now zat mon respected and honored comrade-in-arms, ze late Capitaine America, is, 'ow you zay...kaput?...Batroc, he feels safe in taking over ze Ten of a Kind feature and making it 'is own in honor of today, ze grande Bastille Day! Yes, 'Appy Bastille Day to you all. Zo now in ze zelebration of ze Bastille Day, we shall look at ze ten covairs with yours truly, Batroc ze Lepair. And afterwards? Ah, but ma petite! As a countryman of mine zez, "In the Bastille zhere is no 'afterwards.'"






















Now, please to 'ave zome Frainch fries and Frainch dips sandwiches on ze Frainch bread in 'onor of Bastille Day! While you ingest ze finest cuisine zis side of zat Paris kitchen infested by ze comic rats, with zheir petit wiggling tails and zheir pink snouts, pour chance you shall watch ze very popular Batroc ze Leapair cartoon d'animation show! Pay no attention to zat star-spangled kniggit...he is not ze true star of ze show:


Opening theme of The Marvel Super Heroes: Captain America (Grantray-Lawrence Animation, 1966)

Did you anjoy zat? Trés bien! And now, for ze encore, Batrock ze Leapair zhall make away with your beautiful jewels and your women, and...'ow you zay...no one may put ze stop upon Batroc ze Leapair!

WHOOSH! CHUNK!

Zut alors! I am pinned to ze wall by a large, round, metal-like disc! It is decorated with ze Ztar and ze Ztripes! Can it be? Can mon old enemy 'ave returned? Is zis truly ze end of Batrock ze Leapair?

Oh....merde.

'Appy...'ow you zay?...Bastille Day!

Celebrate today by letting a Frenchman take a free shot at you!:


cover of Captain America #303 (Marvel, March 1985), pencils and inks by Paul Neary
By the way, Doom's driver just phoned...they're stuck in traffic on the Kosciuszko Bridge. As often happens on that stretch, "one of three lanes may be closed westbound from 7:30AM to 10:30AM weekdays for NYCDOT Bridge inspection work." Doom had thrown this driver off the Kosciuszko Bridge and will be proceeding shortly.

For more real-time traffic updates, tune in to 1010WINS on the eights.