366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 211: Crisis on Infinite Jonahs Week, Day 6: Don't tie me donkey down there

Earth-7848! (When oh when shall we get to Earth-7-11? I'm dying for a Slurpee!) Where the Marvel Bullpen asks us the musical question "What If...the world knew Daredevil was blind?" (Musical answer: He'd really be in quite a bind!)


Panel from "What If the World Knew Daredevil Was Blind?" in What If? (1977 series) #8 (April 1978), script by Don Glut, breakdowns by Alan Kupperberg, finishes by Jim Mooney, colors by Mary Ellen Beveridge (she's refreshing!), letters by Karin Kish
BWHA-HA-HA-HA it's funny because we've all been thinking it! (And you can read more about this blindingly brilliant tale over at Siskoid's Blog of Geekery!)

But this isn't 365 Days of Daredevil, is it? (Musical answer: No, it's not! You're a silly git!) There's also a back-up tale in What If? #8 that is more in keeping with out Triple J-oriented programming. So here, straight from Earth-7840, just as I promised you not only at the beginning of the week but also on day one of this crazy concept:

J. JONAH JACKASS

Panel from "What If the Spider Had Been Bitten by a Radioactive Human?" in What If? (1977 series) #8 (April 1978); script, pencils, and inks by Scott Shaw!; colors by Carl Gafford; letters by Carol Lay
BWHA-HA-HA-HA it's funny because we've all been thinking this one too! (snicker)

By the time the second funny-animal Jonah pops up within the pages of Earth-8311's Sensational Character Find of 1983 — Peter Porker, The Sensational Spider-Ham! — JJJ's got a name kids can yell on the playground and not get rapped over the knuckles for:

J. JONAH JACKAL

Panels from Peter Porker, The Sensational Spider-Ham #1 (May 1985); script by Steve Skeates, pencils by Mark Armstrong, inks by Joe Albelo, colors by Steve Mellor, letters by Rick Parker
Say, why the long face, Jonah?

Please note he gives poor Peter no more print credit than his human equivalent does:


...although this Jonah seems like he is a little bit more liable to cut footloose:


But rest reassured, Dear Reader, as we shall see the Jackass version of JJJ at least once more, this time on Earth-9997:


Panel from Earth X #X (June 2000), co-plot and script by by Jim Krueger, co-plot by Alex Ross, pencils by John Paul Leon, inks by Bill Reinhold, colors by Melissa Edwards, letters by Todd Klein
So, in musical conclusion:

Play that theme man!
Jackass will jump and bray, let him bray, let him bray
I say the Jackass will jump and bray
Lordy let him bray, let him bray, everybody!