365 Days of Power and Responsibility, Day 18: SOME PIG

Well, I never said 365 Days in a row.

One of the things I was doing when my head burst into flame last year (and I think we all know how painful that can be) was collecting usages of the phrase "With great power, there must come great responsibility" from those comicky books we love so much. Even though I hadn't posted any of 'em since (gulp) a year and a day ago, I've still been clipping them out them and thus reducing the value of my collection, but I've also been considering how widespread the phrase is. As you might've seen that far in 2019, it's not just restricted to Spider-Man comics. It has become a genuinely rubber-stamped TV Trope, even though I can't clip out segments from TV. Believe me, I've tried, and it's not gonna happen with these kiddie safety scissors.

A good hero learns that with great power comes great responsibility. But...did you also know this:


Panels from "Boared Again!" in Spider-Man Annual (2019 series) #1 (August 2019), script by Jason Latour, pencils and inks by David Lafuente, colors bgy Rico Renzi, letters by Joe Caramagna
So if a pig can remember it — sorta — you can remember it. And thanks for being patient!

365 Days of Defiance, Day 32: When I say you're a pork chop you best believe you're a pork chop

As we saw yesterday, Spider-Man will overcome all odds and lift a big-ass piece of machinery, in one of the most iconic sequences of the Marvel Age of Comics! So iconic, in fact, that comics will be referencing it for decades. Even pig comics!



Panels from Marvel Tails Starring Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham one-shot (November 1983), script by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Mark Armstrong, inks by Joe Albelo, colors by Steve Mellor, letters by Rick Parker and Jack Morelli
Spider-Ham is stronger than everything!...except the floorboards.

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 259: Does whatever a porkchop can

Panels from "What Goes Up Must Come Down!" in What The—?! #22 (October 1992); script by Barry Dutter; pencils, inks, and letters by John Costanza; colors by Vladimir Fiks

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 211: Crisis on Infinite Jonahs Week, Day 6: Don't tie me donkey down there

Earth-7848! (When oh when shall we get to Earth-7-11? I'm dying for a Slurpee!) Where the Marvel Bullpen asks us the musical question "What If...the world knew Daredevil was blind?" (Musical answer: He'd really be in quite a bind!)


Panel from "What If the World Knew Daredevil Was Blind?" in What If? (1977 series) #8 (April 1978), script by Don Glut, breakdowns by Alan Kupperberg, finishes by Jim Mooney, colors by Mary Ellen Beveridge (she's refreshing!), letters by Karin Kish
BWHA-HA-HA-HA it's funny because we've all been thinking it! (And you can read more about this blindingly brilliant tale over at Siskoid's Blog of Geekery!)

But this isn't 365 Days of Daredevil, is it? (Musical answer: No, it's not! You're a silly git!) There's also a back-up tale in What If? #8 that is more in keeping with out Triple J-oriented programming. So here, straight from Earth-7840, just as I promised you not only at the beginning of the week but also on day one of this crazy concept:

J. JONAH JACKASS

Panel from "What If the Spider Had Been Bitten by a Radioactive Human?" in What If? (1977 series) #8 (April 1978); script, pencils, and inks by Scott Shaw!; colors by Carl Gafford; letters by Carol Lay
BWHA-HA-HA-HA it's funny because we've all been thinking this one too! (snicker)

By the time the second funny-animal Jonah pops up within the pages of Earth-8311's Sensational Character Find of 1983 — Peter Porker, The Sensational Spider-Ham! — JJJ's got a name kids can yell on the playground and not get rapped over the knuckles for:

J. JONAH JACKAL

Panels from Peter Porker, The Sensational Spider-Ham #1 (May 1985); script by Steve Skeates, pencils by Mark Armstrong, inks by Joe Albelo, colors by Steve Mellor, letters by Rick Parker
Say, why the long face, Jonah?

Please note he gives poor Peter no more print credit than his human equivalent does:


...although this Jonah seems like he is a little bit more liable to cut footloose:


But rest reassured, Dear Reader, as we shall see the Jackass version of JJJ at least once more, this time on Earth-9997:


Panel from Earth X #X (June 2000), co-plot and script by by Jim Krueger, co-plot by Alex Ross, pencils by John Paul Leon, inks by Bill Reinhold, colors by Melissa Edwards, letters by Todd Klein
So, in musical conclusion:

Play that theme man!
Jackass will jump and bray, let him bray, let him bray
I say the Jackass will jump and bray
Lordy let him bray, let him bray, everybody!

Bewitched, Bothered and [REDACTED]

So, in today's hard-hitting, espionage-flavored, Hawkeye-and-Black-Widow-stuffed first issue of the new Secret Avengers title, Agent Phil "I'm Not Dead" Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D.* uses the carrot and the stick by offering Jeremy and Scarlett Clint and Natasha a chance to handle a very, very personal case if they sign up for this super-secret strike force. So what is that case?


Panels from Secret Avengers v.2 #1 (April 2013), script by Nick Spencer, pencils and inks by Luke Ross, colors by Matthew Wilson, letters by Clayton Cowles
Hmmmm. "REDACTED." I guess that means they aren't going to tell us/make us wait for the annual/haven't any idea what it is/are settling up a guest appearance by Wolverine, who seldom appears in comic books these days.

On the other hand, since it's REDACTED, that means I can substitute any li'l thing at all in my mind that I want to be a case that Hawkguy and BW are eager to attack. And here it is:


Oh, like you wouldn't buy that crossover.

*Surely Hawkeye Incessantly Eats Little Donuts

Spider-Ham, Spider-Ham/Does whatever a Spider can/Gets into lots of scuffles/Catches thieves just like truffles

Cast of characters from the Marvel/Star comic book Peter Porker, The Spectacular Spider-Ham, full-page by Steve Mellor from Marvel Age Annual #3 (1986)
(Click picture to ham-size)

I'm very fond of Marvel's attempt at the venerable funny-animal parody comic, Peter Porker, The Spectacular Spider-Ham...it was one of the few kid-oriented Star Comics that actually had an appeal to pre-exsiting Marvel fans. Populated by characters whose names were groan-inducing, delightfully-bad animal puns on Marvel's super heroes (Deerdevil! The Fantastic Fur! Goose Rider! Ducktor Doom!) and some distinctive fluid and delightfully cartoon-inspired art (mostly by Joe Abelo, Mark Armstrong, and Steve and Mike Mellor), I frequently hope for a Marvel trade paperback...heck, I'd settle for a crayon-it-yourself Essential Peter Porker. After all, it doesn't need to be in color and nobody will get confused...I'm sure every Marvel fan will be able to understand what the pig meant.



Spider-Ham came back relatively recently in an almost universally lambasted Civil War one-shot appearance, I'm betting the little bacon-ball still has a lot of friends out there: Marvel fans voted him the Spider-Guy they wanted to see on the Mike Wieringo alternate cover of Amazing Spider-Man #528:



Hey Joey Q! With the rest of the Star original characters reappearing in this year's X-Babies miniseries, isn't it time to bring Your Friendly Neighbor Spider-Ham back to comics? C'mon...don't hog all the fun! Look, we'll even let you bring back this guy:

Separated at Birth: Have you seen the Spider-Piggies/Crawling up the walls?

L: Amazing Spider-Man #294 (November 1987), art by Mike Zeck and Bob McLeod
R: What the?! #3 (October 1988), art by Alex Saviuk and Bob McLeod
(Click picture to Hogzilla-size)