There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight

Hey, kids, it's time for another exciting

Please pick up your pencils, protractors, and lead bibs and prepare for the quiz. You have a total time period of a half-life lasting 4.5 billion years to complete the questions.

QUESTION: Willowy, worried Tony Stark is testing a nuclear bomb in the parking lot of the Long Island branch of Stark Industries, but...a superfluous and stray superhero soars southerly, flying overhead mere moments before the detonation.

Assuming a rocketing velocity of 210 mph from ground to the level of the stray superhero, and taking into account an easterly wind of 15 knots, and also that Tony Stark has had two shots of bourbon with his Wheaties this morning, how long will it take Iron Man to reach and warn away The Angel (appearing by kind permission of "X-Men Magazine")?


Whoops. Well, that'll happen.

Let's try another question. Upon being exposed to point blank high-atomic radiation and severe intense fallout, a human being will:

A: Gain the ability to climb up walls and shoot silken strands out of his posterior?

B: Achieve fantastic dexterity and gymnastic abilities, heightened senses beyond those of normal men, and oh yeah, go blind?



C: gain thousands of pounds of muscle mass in minutes, turning yourself grey, green, grey again, green yet again, then maybe red for some weird reason?



No, no, I'm afraid the answer is D: Become evil.

Wha...wait just a doggone minute! Become evil?!?




So, remember: That's D: Become evil:


Never fear, mutant-maniacs, by the end of the story Warren Worthington's all cured and his lovable, feathery self, going right back to hitting on the girlfriend of his best pal and flaunting his inherited money in front of his classmates.

Well, there you go, science fans. Radiation: it does a body good. Well, more to the point, it doesn't really do a body any harm. So, be like famous science guy Reed Richards: immerse yourself in radiation every day!



And above all, always remember:
RADIOACTIVITY: IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S ROCKET SCIENCE OR ANYTHING.