If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow/Why, oh why, can't I?

I bet you know this feeling: sometimes your little head fulla beans just gets a stubborn question stuck in it and you can't get it out. You know, one of the important questions of life and philosophy that have puzzled man- and bullkind down the centuries. Where did Cain get his wife? Who built the pyramids? Who shot J.R.? And of course, the most brain-warping question of them all, one that has had me scratching my head until my hoof was sore: What is Magneto's favorite movie?

You know, you might think that's a pretty easy question to answer right off the bat. "Schindler's List," you might suggest, or "I bet Magneto's favorite flick is The Sorrow and the Pity." Possibly it might occur to you that ol' Buckethead pops in his DVD of Shoah when nobody else is around and has himself a good old cry. Then again, you simply can't deny the appeal of Saturday Night Fever to Mister Lensherr.

Well, we here at BullyLabs, after extensive research and investigation, can finally answer the question that has stymied the great minds of our time. "What is Magneto's favorite movie?" you ask? And I answer, with solid authority, "Why, a certain 1939 musical classic starring Miss Judy Garland, a film that has become a family favorite for almost seventy years, of course!"

Need some proof?


Need some proof that doesn't consist of hastily cobbled-together Photoshop panels? Well, note how a certain iconic scene in that movie...


...is adopted and homaged by slavish fanboy Magneto during his very first terrorist activity upon homo sapiens?:


Come to think of it, wouldn't an X-Men/Oz crossover adventure be the bee's knees? Magneto could ally himself with the Nome King (whom he would ruthlessly betray and threaten with magnetically-levitated eggs), safely crossing the Deadly Desert on magnetic fields to invade Oz. If he invades from the west, he'd certainly have no trouble cutting through Oz's first line of defense, Nick Chopper the Tin Woodsman:


...or mechanical man Tik-Tok:


Why, with those mutant magnetic powers, Magneto would crush Dorothy's Magic Belt and bend the Love Magnet into a pretzel! All would be at its darkest for Ozma and company until the X-Men arrive (the original line-up of five plus Professor X, please) to team up with our favorite Ozians to defeat Magneto in a cunning plan co-conceived by the two Professors: Charles Xavier and H. M. Wogglebug, T.E.

Of course, it should all be drawn by Colleen Coover, doncha think?

Ah well. A little stuffed bull can dream, can't he? Still, whatever you do, never make fun of Magneto's favorite movie:

This cat Aunt May is one bad mutha.../Shut yo' mouth!/I'm jus' talkin' 'bout Aunt May!

The best-laid plans of rodents and regular guys gang aft agley, 'cording to Major Frank Burns, so please kindly wait for your regularly scheduled A Wodehouse a Week to appear a little later this...uh...week. (It's a longer book than I expected and I'm not quite through re-reading it yet!) Speaking of mice, here's a clue about which book I'm readin':

In the meantime, and because this is Comics Oughta Be Fun!, after all...I present to you one of my favorite Marvel Comics cameo appearances of all time: a quite-unexpected guest shot by a certain Ms. M. Parker in the pages of Fantastic Four #260, smack-dab in the midst of a battle between the FF, Terrax the Tamer, and the redoubtable Doctor Doom. You'd think such a frail and sensitive elderly lady would scamper away home to Queens at the first sign of trouble, wouldn't you? Uh uh...because our Miss May is full of piss and vinegar:



Panels from Fantastic Four (1961 series) #260 (November 1983), written and drawn by John Byrne, coloring by Glynis Wein, lettering by Jim Novak
Say what you want about John Byrne's personal politics...and I often do...but you can't deny that he writes Aunt May as a complete badass. Because that dude in the blue shirt in the second panel May badmouths Dr. Doom to? Why, that's Doom himself (just body-switched using the Ovoid mind-swapping technique he learned years ago in a Lee/Kirby issue).

What does that mean? It means that May Parker called Doctor Doom nasty to his face and lived to tell the tale.

I repeat. Aunt May: complete badass.

House ads oughta be fun!

I'm back from the frozen lands of Central New York where I attended the surprise birthday party of John's sister Lorrie (Happy Birfday, Aunt Lorrie!) and got stuck there Sunday night when our flight was cancelled. So, I've returned to Brooklyn a day later and a tote bag full of snowballs richer, which means Wodehouse tomorrow to let me catch up. Tonight? Why not feast your eyes on some wild and wacky Marvel Comics 1980s house ads? Well, why doncha?


House ad from Fantastic Four Annual #18 (1984)


House ad from Fantastic Four #291 (June 1986)


House ad from Fantastic Four #268 (July 1984)


House ad from Fantastic Four Annual #16 (1981)


House ad from Fantastic Four #290 (May 1986)


House ad from Fantastic Four Annual #20 (1987)

Ten of a Kind: Button eyes, lullabys, I melt away/Criticized, compromised, white turns to grey

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

Separated at Birth: Getting Ahead

L: Crime SuspenStories #22 (April-May 1954), art by Johnny Craig
R: The Shadow #18 (January 1989), art by Kyle Baker
(Click picture to decapi-size)

Saturday Morning Cartoon: The Little King in "Christmas Night"

"Christmas Night" (also known as "Pals") starring The Little King (1933), directed by James Tyer, based on the character created by Otto Soglow

Friday Night Fights: He's Strong to the Finich

In which a little stuffed bull asks the musical question: Who's the punchiest guy around? Why, it's not the Hulk, and it's not Wildcat...it's not even Russell Crowe! No, the punchiest guy in the land is the guy from the sea: Mister Popeye the Sailor Man!

Don't believe me? Well, cast yer good peeper on these...only a select few of Popeye's Greatest Hits:













Say, just who did teach Popeye to punch like that? Well, he learned from the best in the business—his dad, Poopdeck Pappy...who likes to punch...um...shall we say, more defenseless targets...:





Like father, like son? Think about it, won't you...Olive?

Bahlactus will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

(Say! This is my 900th post on this blog!)

Dumbass things you shouldn't do in the Marvel Universe, Number 242

Hooray! It's winter! Soon it will be snowing in Central Park and I'll be out sledding on my toboggan, strapping on my little skis, making snow angels, having snowball fights, and all sorts of fun winter activities that are great for the cold crispy snowy months!

But if you're going to play in the snow in Manhattan, make sure you play nice—not like these guys:



Panels from Fantastic Four #242 (May 1982), written and drawn by John Byrne, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Jim Novak

So remember, you may be a crook, but that snow excuse for being a dumbass and trying to mug a superhero. Ben Grimm sure knows how to bowl 'em over, doesn't he? Why, he's having a real ball!

So take it from the Thing, the original abominable snowman: safe winter play is snow accident!

Thank you very much, thank you very much! / That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me

It's not even Christmas yet, but plop in the Bully mailbox landed two intriguing padded packages addressed to yours truly. What could they be? What could they be?

Wow! Two of my good internetty friends, Pal Dorian Wright and Jovial Jadzia Axelrod sent me some wonderful surprise-type presents! Why, is it my birthday? No! I just have really good friends!


Dorian must have known how sad I am that I am not going to London again this Christmas (sniff) so he sent me the next best thing: a wonderful colorful map of London!


It's big enough that I can play on it and pretend I'm in London. Hey look, everybody, I'm sitting on Graham Norton! Hah!


There are fun-type activities that will keep me amused for hours. I have to scour London to find Nelson's Column, a London bus, and a public loo. Wow. That last one is hard.


There were also fun London stickers in the map! You've gotta love free bonus stickers. They're like the sour cream on the Chipotle Burrito of life.


John said I could not put the stickers on the walls or the furniture. He did not say anything about not putting them on the cat! Tee hee! Stand still, Gus...you are in London now!


Dorian also sent me a "Beauty Walks in Atlantic City" map. I think I am not pretty enough to use this map personally, but it will come in very handy the next time I play Monopoly. A hotel for Marvin Gardens, please!


When I opened Jadzia's's package, I was surprised and happy to find she had sent me a beautiful home-made Doctor Who sonic screwdriver! This is tons better than the manual screwdriver I have to use all the time! Everyone will be jealous of me in shop class.


It looks just like the real (Sylvester) McCoy! And the end actually really lights up! I can shoot sonic rays and unlock doors and get into the cookies wherever John has hidden them away.


It is especially good for fighting off Daleks. If they don't respond to the sonic attack, just hit them over the head with it.



Thank you, Dorian and Jadzia!