366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 287: Water revoltin' development this is

The thrilling saga of how the Kingpin locked Spider-Man and Jonah Jameson in his leaky basement!


Cover of Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #52 (September 1967), pencils and inks by John Romita, Sr., colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Sam Rosen
Yes, the Kingpin (of all Crime) had indeed captured Spidey and JJJ and put them in a death trap (if not a suicide rap), but if you've read any Spider-Man comics (and I'm pretty sure guessing that by this point you have), then you know that to Spider-Man, Watery Graves is simply the name of Lex Luthor's bodyguard's sister.


Panels from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #52 (September 1967), script by Stan Lee, pencils by John Romita, Sr., inks by Mike Esposito, letters by Sam Rosen
Spider-Man! Spider-Man! He's the guy with a spider-plan! Sling some webs, through the water! This way he / avoids slaughter! Look out! He's the waterproof Spider-Man!


Jonah has apparently never learned how to swim, so Spidey makes one of those big inflatable sumo wrestler bubbles for them to ride out the waves safely. Man, Romita draws good water, doesn't he? That's either making me thirsty or have to pee. Hold on, I'll be back in a couple minutes.


The Moist Marauders Marvel Team-Up keads them into the underground passages of the Kingpin's elaborate office complex, which also contains a T.G.I.Friday's and one of those "Phantom of Broadway" cheap-ass souvenir gift shops. Laos, there is a Starbucks in the lobby, on the eighteenth floor, and inside the Kingpin's office. Also, there is another Starbuck's inside that one.


At last, Jameson escapes while SPidey holds off the hordes of bad hombres! Run, Jonah, run!...oh geez, he just pulled a Scotty in Star Trek V move. That's gonna leave a mark.


Jameson wakes up later in a shower where Bobby Ewing is still alive in the dank cellarway, at last safe from the stampeding Kingpin and his henchmen the Kingtwins, although it's clear he can't tell the sensation of water on his head. Thus we conclude, J. Jonah Jameson has never washed his hair.

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 286: Not plane nor bird nor even frog

Panels from Top Dog #10 (October 1986); script by George Caragonne; pencils by Warren Kremer; Peter Parker and J. Jonah Jameson figure pencils by John Romita, Sr.; inks by Jon d'Agostino; colors by George Roussos; letters by Grace Kremer

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 285: J. Jonah Jameson fires more employees before nine AM than you do all day

Panels from Tangled Web: The Thousand #1 (June 2001), script by Garth Ennis, pencils by John McCrea, inks by James Hodgkins, colors by Steve Buccellato, letters by Richard Starkings

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 284: My baloney has a first name / It's J-O-N-A-H

Panels from Marvels: Eye of the Camera #2 (February 2009), script by Kurt Busiek, pencils by Jay Anacleto, colors by Brian Haberlin, letters by Richard Starkings

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 283: C'mon Get Happy

Panels from Spider-Man: Chapter One #12 (October 1999); script, pencils, and letters by John Byrne; inks by Al Milgrom; colors by Joe Rosas

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 282/Today in Comics History, October 8, 1996: This could never happen in these enlightened times

from Daily Bugle #1 (Marvel, December 1996), script by Paul Grist, pencils by Karl Kerschl, inks by Greg Adams, letters by Jim Novak
Speaking of pretty good, often-overlooked J. Jonah Jameson stories, the 1996 miniseries The Daily Bugle is a lovely short series focusing on the journalists of that fine metropolitan newspaper, with nary an appearance by our friendly neighborhood web-slinger. It's about as real as Marvel Comics get, including that issue of Punisher: War Journal where Frank had to wait in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles for a whole issue.


cover of Daily Bugle #1 (Marvel, December 1996), pencils by Karl Kerschl, inks by Greg Adams
Like your local newspaper somewhere back in the twentieth century, the whole series is in glorious black and white, which gives it a cool-real noir look. And the script's by Paul Grist — I like his comics artwork a lot, especially Doctor Who and St. Swithin's Day, as well as being the writer and artist on the absolutely wonderful Jack Staff. Artwork here is by Karl Kerschl and Greg Adams:



As far as I know, The Daily Bugle #1-3 have never been collected into a trade, and I'm not sure if they're currently on Marvel Unlimited. But this little stuffed comics guy gives the miniseries two hooves up, and they're well worth hunting down in the back issue boxes of your local comic book shop. Tell 'em J. Jonah Jameson sent you, and also demand photographs of Spider-Man!

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 281: I Want My J-TV

Panels from Daredevil (1964 series) #17 (June 1966), script by Stan Lee, pencils by John Romita, Sr., inks by Frank Giacoia, letters by Sam Rosen

Today in Comics History, October 6, 1989: Clark Kent wins a Cable Ace Award for his self-insertion fan fiction

from Superman (1987 series) #79 (DC, July 1993), script and pencils by Dan Jurgens, inks by Brett Breeding, colors by Glenn Whitmore, letters by John Costanza

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 280: Green Journalism

"What If the Incredible Hulk Had Been Bitten by a Radioactive Spider?" from Wha...Huh? one-shot (2005), script by Mark Waid and Tom Peyer, pencils and inks by Jim Mahfood, colors by Shaughn Struble, letters by Chris Eliopoulos

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 279: Spider-Man plays with his Marvel Action Figures

Splash page from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #55 (March 1977), script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by John Byrne, inks by Dave Hunt, colors by George Roussos, letters by Gaspar Saladino

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 278: Ain't I a Stinker

Panels from Amazing Spider-Man Annual (1964 series) #4 (November 1967), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Larry Lieber, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Stan Goldberg (?), letters by Jerry Feldmann

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 277: To Kiss a Spider-Man! Wait, that's not right

Well, he's no Iron Jonah, but here comes the Spider-Slayer! Which, hey, never actually ever slayed any spiders, but they're workin' on it.


Cover of Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #58 (March 1968), pencils and inks by John Romita, Sr., letters by Sam Rosen

Today in Comics History, October 2, 1979: The Pope disappoints crowd by only playing songs off his newest album

from The Life of Pope John Paul II #1 one-shot (Marvel, January 1983), script by Steven Grant, pencils by John Tartaglione, inks by Joe Sinnott, colors by Marie Severin, letters by Jim Novak

Today in Comics History, October 2, 1982: Commissioner of Highways declares "In the future, we will always need roads!"

from "When Marty Met Emmett" in Back to the Future (2015 series) #1 (IDW, October 2015), script by Bob Gale and John Barber, pencils by Brent Schoonover, inks by David Witt, colors by Kelly Fitzpatrick, letters by Shawn Lee

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 276: Justice, Like Lightning, From Another Universe...

Young Justice! Not to be confused with the excellent '80s band Lone Justice.


Yes, Young Justice, the Justice League of Tomorrow! Until their book was cancelled and replaced with all those unimpressive Teen Titans redux titles, but hey, it was fun while it lasted. But what's it doing in this feature? Why, it's because it features of the very few Eath-DC appearances of our Mustacheoed Maverick of Media Muckraking, J. Jonah Jameson! (The extra "J" is for "Justice!")


Panels from Young Justice (1998 series) #18 (March 2000), script by Peter David, pencils by Todd Nauck, inks by Lary Stucker, colors by Jason Wright, color separations by Digital Chameleon, letters:\ by Ken Lopez
Also, I've thrown in a bonus guest appearance there at the bottom of one of the Presidents in Comic Books! And Chelsea Clinton, who one day will probably be another President after she pilots the space shuttle into a time vortex and marries Wesley Crusher.

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 275: "Martha?" WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME

Panels from Spider-Woman (1999 series — you know, the Martha "Mattie" Franklin Spider-Woman, the one everybody forgot about) #3 (September 1999), script by John Byrne, pencils by Bart Sears, inks by Randy Elliott and Raymond Kryssing, colors by Mike Atiyeh, letters by Liz Agraphiotis

Today in Comics History, October 1, 1993: Andy Warhol guest-stars on The Love Boat*

from Miracleman #19 (Eclipse, November 1990), cover art by Dave McKean, script by Neil Gaiman, pencils by Mark Buckingham, inks and colors by Sam Parsons, letters by Wayne Truman
*He really did!:


from The Love Boat: "Picture from the Past" (season 9, episode 3) (Aaron Spelling Productions, October 12, 1985); guest starring Milton Berle, Tom Bosley, Marion Ross, Andy Griffith, and Andy Warhol as himself

The MAD 1960 2016 calendar for 'Orrible October!

"The MAD 1960 Calendar: October" from MAD #52 (January 1960), script by Larry Siegel, art by Wally Wood

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 274: The Ballad of Iron Jonah

And now, quite possibly the greatest comic strip of all time! Take that, Krazy Kat! Get outta here, Pogo! No time for you, U.S. Acres! Yes, it's the Sensational Character Find of February 2014...Iron Jonah!




The Amazing Spider-Man newspaper comic strip (King Features Syndicate, 2014), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Larry Lieber, inks by Alex Saviuk
Of course, Iron Jonah is an immediate hit with the general public (if not The Beat*)




Look out, Spider-Man! You've got Iron Jonah on your tail! And that's about as unappetizing as it sounds!



Unlike any of Tony Stark's armored suits, however, this one malfunctions! And Jonah didn't save the receipt, so he can't even get store credit back for it! Curse these restrictive retailing regulations!




So everybody forgives Jonah, and another subplot about Robbie Robertson is tied up in the most bromatic way possible.



This fantastic storyline was never adapted into the regular Marvel Comic Books, because J. Scott Campbell refused to draw a sexy cover of bare-midriff J. Jonah Jameson.

Iron Jonah, won't you?

(A hooves-up salute to my very good pal, the mighty Chris Sims, who first brought the Invincible Iron Jonah to my attention in this fine article from Comics Alliance!)

*I meant the English Beat, but if you wanna take that as referring to Heidi MacDonald, that works too.

Today in Comics History, September 29: Somebody's parents are killed; Batman watches it on TV

from Batman and Robin Eternal #18 (DC, April 2016), story by James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder, script by Ed Brisson, pencils by Scot Eaton, inks by Wayne Faucher, colors by Allen Passalaqua (pages 1-16); Gabe Eltaeb (pages 17-20), letters by Saida Temofonte
Maybe I worked too long in publishing, but naming a character Harper Row? You might as well call her Farrar S. Giroux or Bobbs Merrill.

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 273: Peter Parker does not trust the Ayatollah Khomeini

Panels from Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #56 (July 1981), script by Roger Stern, layouts by Jim Shooter (!!!), finishes by Jim Mooney, colors by Bob Sharen and George Roussos, letters by Janice Chiang

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 272: You can read it in the Sunday papers

Panel from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #18 (November 1964); plot, pencils, and inks by Steve Ditko, script by Stan Lee; colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Sam Rosen

Today in Comics History, Tuesday the 27th: Peter Parker has an existential crisis

from Peter Parker: Spider-Man (1999 series) #21 (Marvel, September 2000), script by Paul Jenkins, pencils by Mark Buckingham, inks by Dan Green and Rodney Ramos, colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Troy Peteri

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 271: Someday maybe Jonah will win the fight / And that cat will stay out for the night

Panels from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #103 (December 1971), script by Roy Thomas, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Frank Giacoia, letters by Artie Simek

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 270: Bad touch, Jonah! Bad touch!

Panels from Giant-Size Super Heroes #1 (June 1974), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Linda Lessmann, letters by John Costanza

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 269: And now, a dramatic reading by J. Jonah Jameson

Panels from Marvel Team-Up #114 (February 1982), co-plot and breakdowns by Herb Trimpe, co-plot and script by J. M. DeMatteis, finishes by Mike Esposito, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Diana Albers