Today in Comics History, April 25: Happy birthday, Justice!

Born on this day in 1950: the guy who thought he was an alien cop until Marvel remembered he was supposed to live in the world outside your window: John Tensen, Justice!



from Justice (1986 series) #22 (Marvel/New Universe, August 1988), creators unidentified and unknown

Today in Comics History, March 22: Happy birthday, Playback!

Born today in 1955: Miriam Morse aka Playback, the psychic sister of Inspector Morse, who helped him solve many murder mysteries who works for the government hunting down the alien paranormal vigilante code-named Justice. Please note that her hobbies include "philately, videotapes (What? Does she collect 'em? Watch 'em? Belong to the Columbia House Hit VHS a Month Club? Does she manage a Blockbuster Video?), and letting the air out of the tires on cars that are illegally parked in handicapped spaces." Whoa, that last one. You go, girl!


from Justice #22 (Marvel/New Universe, August 1988), creators uncredited and unknown
Happy birthday, Playback, and if you see her in a parking lot letting the air out of tires on cars that are illegal parked in handicap spaces...no you didn't.

Today in Comics History, October 13, 1988: Brando flubs his screen test for Marathon Man

from "The Pounding" in Justice #26 (Marvel/New Universe, December 1988), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Rodney Ramos, inks by Mike Gustovich and Val Gustovich, colors by Gregory Wright, letters by Rick Parker

Today in Comics History, August 16: Happy birthday, Madonna!

Born on this day: singer, songwriter, and (ahem) actor Madonna! Marvel shoulda given her a series in the '80s, doncha think?


from Madonna #1 (Personality Comics, September 1991), script by Steven Spire III, pencils and inks by Jimmy Palmiotti, letters by Dave Sharpe

Today in Comics History, August 8: Happy birthday, The Edge!

Born on this day: David Howell Evans, better known to the world as The Edge, member of the band U2, shown here on the left, cosplaying as Chico Marx.


from Justice (1986 series) #20 (Marvel/New Universe, June 1988); script by Peter David, pencils by Lee Weeks, inks by Mike Gustovich, colors by Janet Jackson, letters by Agustin Mas
Happy birthday, Mr. The Edge!

Today in Comics History, July 13, 1946: Please don't drive under the influence of Post-War America

from "The Man Who Lost Himself" in Justice (1947 series) #13 (Marvel/Timely, November 1949), pencils and inks by Carl Burgos (?)

Today in Comics History, May 10: Happy birthday, Bono!

This is a much-expanded and -updated version of a post originally published October 06, 2011.

Born on this day: rock singer/songwriter, frontman of U2 (the band, not the submarine), and activist Bono (pictured here with Chico Marx).


from Justice (1986 series) #20 (Marvel/New Universe, June 1988), script by Peter David, pencils by Lee Weeks, inks by Mike Gustovich, colors by Janet Jackson, letters by Agustin Mas
Bono because famous in the Marvel Universe for being one of the archenemies of the She-Hulk!


from The Sensational She-Hulk (1989 series) #24 (Marvel, February 1991), script by Simon Furman, pencils by Bryan Hitch, inks by John Beatty, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Jim Novak
Bono and his band of lyrical leprechauns is available for all your party, christening, or bar mitzvah occasions!


from Penguin: Pain & Prejudice #1 (DC, December 2011), script by Gregg Hurwitz, pencils and inks by Szymon Kudranski, color by John Kalisz, letters by Rob Leigh
Well, we all know who Mr. One-Name is, right? Then your assignment...should you choose to accept it...describe in the comments who you think was in the photo with him and what they were doing. (Keep it clean and funny, folks!) Even better yet...Photoshop your own copy of the snapshot. (I can't stress that "keep it clean" bit too strongly here.)

Hotter-than-98.6 degrees Bully pal Aaron Fever provided us with this suggestion:


Me, I think I've figured out why a certain band from Athens, Georgia broke up:


Happy birthday, Bono, you nut, you crazy guy, you!


from "Web-Singers" in Toyfare #57 (Wizard, May 2002), by Pat McCallum, Tom Root, Zach Oat and Justin Aclin

Today in Comics History, March 25: Happy birthday, Aretha Franklin!

Born on this day in 1942: Aretha Franklin: singer, songwriter, actress, activist, and the undisputed Queen of Soul!

I'm so sorry that this is the only portrayal of you in comics that I could find, Ms. Franklin.


from Justice #20 (Marvel/New Universe, June 1988), script by Peter David, pencils by Lee Weeks, inks by Mike Gustovich, colors by Janet Jackson, letters by Agustin Mas
But hey, Mary Jane Watson is a big fan!


from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #130 (Marvel, March 1974), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Ross Andru, inks by Frank Giacoia and Dave Hunt, colors by Petra Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek (
Happy Birthday, Aretha!

Today in Comics History, April 4, 1959 and 1988: Debut, Max Lord of Earth-555

Curiously, April 4 is a quiet day on Earth-616, in the Marvel Universe. On a peaceful day like today, the X-Men play softball, Peter Parker goes out for a lovely picnic with his best girl (Gwen Stacy, Mary Jane Watson, Debra Whitman, Felicia Hardy, Cindy Moon, or any assortment or one or another), and Jarvis continues his spring cleaning.

But April 4 is not a quiet day in the New Universe of Earth-148611, just down the road and outside your window (oh no! someone has stolen your window!) You see, everyone's been caught in The Draft, which is an ill wind that blows nobody any good. And Windy has stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies! It's her paranormal power ever since the White Event.



from (top) The Draft one-shot (Marvel/New Universe, July 1988), script by Mark Gruenwald and Fabian Nicieza; pencils by Herb Trimpe; inks by Kyle Baker, Mike Gustovich, Klaus Janson, Lee Weeks, and Keith Williams; colors by Michael Higgins; letters by Jim Novak
and (bottom) Psi-Force #23 (Marvel/New Universe, September 1988), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Graham Nolan, inks by Mike Witherby, colors by Nelson Yomtov, letters by Rick Parker
Not to mention that The Pitt (a big hole in the ground where Pittsburgh used to be) is slowly settling into sludge, making it even more difficult to fill with rich delicious My-T-Fine chocolate pudding:


tText page diagram from Justice #24 (Marvel/New Universe, October 1988)
Meanwhile (meaning 29 years previously), in the newer newuniverse (Earth-555, where is where they make all the fictional phone calls to), young Tony Stark is having the best day ever!



from newuniversal #1 (Marvel/New Universe, September 2008), script by Kieron Gillen, pencils and inks by Greg Scott and Kody Chamberlain, colors by Val Staples, letters by Ed Dukeshire
Oh wait. I did that wrong. Worst day ever. Worst day.

(whistles "Iron Man" theme as I walk away)

Today in Comics History, March 8, 1988: Mr. Pippin spins right round baby, right round, like a record, baby, right round round round

from the Psi-Force story "Healing Time" in Justice #23 (Marvel/New Universe, September 1988), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Javier Saltares, inks by Jeff Albrecht and Mark McKenna, colors by Steve Buccellato, letters by Rick Parker

Today in newuniversal History, March 2, 2006, 11:54 PM: Not everybody makes it out alive of Day 1

from newuniversal #3 (April 2007), script by Warren Ellis, pencils and inks by Salvador Larroca, colors by Jason Keith, letters by Rus Wooton
That wraps this up: there's not many more March 2 timed and dated panels in the newuniversal comics, and to be fair, there's not that many newuniversal comics left anyway. After a six-issue miniseries and a small handle of one- (and two-) shots, the line dwindles away and the story has no conclusion. Compared to the original New Universe, the newuniverse has a pretty short life.


See? I told you that without Kickers, Inc., a New Universe is just not worth it.


from Kickers Inc. #1 (Marvel/New universe, November 1986), script by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Ron Frenz, inks by Sal Buscema, colors by George Roussos, letters by Phil Felix

Today in newuniversal History, March 2, 2006, 12:55 PM: Inspector Javert IV vows to hunt down John Tenson for the theft of a notepad and pen

from newuniversal #1 (Marvel, February 2007), script by Warren Ellis, pencils and inks by Salvador Larroca, colors by Jason Keith, letters by Rus Wooton

Today in Comics History (newuniversal), March 2, 2006, 7:12 AM: Another failure of the health system is blamed on ObamaCare

from newuniversal #1 (Marvel, February 2007), script by Warren Ellis, pencils and inks by Salvador Larroca, colors by Jason Keith, letters by Rus Wooton

Today in newuniversal History, March 2, 2006, 6:49 AM: Birth of a comics line doomed to early cancellation

Today, 3/20/06, 06:49 UT, the White Event changes the history of Earth-555, ushering in the Warren Ellis-reimagined newuniverse.







from newuniversal #2-6 (March-July 2007), script by Warren Ellis, pencils and inks by Salvador Larroca, colors by Jason Keith, letters by Rus Wooton;
and from newuniversal: Shockfront #1 (July 2008), script by Warren Ellis, pencils by Steve Kurth, inks by Andrew Hennessy, colors by Chris Chuckry, letters by Rus Wooton

Today in newuniversal History, March 2, 2006, 3:31 AM: Earth-555 doctors successfully implant POV camera

Today, March 2, 2006, at 06:49 Universal Time, the mysterious White Event changes the history of Earth-555, ushering in the Warren Ellis-created and reimagined newuniverse. (As opposed to Earth-148611, where a White Event on July 22, 1986 begins Jim Shooter's New Universe. You can tell the difference because one is in lower case, and doesn't have Kickers, Inc.

Over the next 24 hours I'll pinpoint some of the timed events that take place that day.


from newuniversal #1 (February 2007), script by Warren Ellis, pencils and inks by Salvador Larroca, colors by Jason Keith, letters by Rus Wooton

(This panel is the only one in newuniversal that seems to have a discrepancy between local and Universal Time (Greenwich Mean Time). I've chosen to pin it to the UTC time listed here rather than EST. All other dual times listed in the series are consistent with each other.)

Today in Comics History, February 24, 1989: Comics story is given such a bad pun for a name you'll be surprised it isn't written by Peter David

from "Freedom of Depress" in Justice #31 (Marvel/New Universe, May 1989), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils and inks by Mike Gustovich, colors by Marc Siry, letters by Rick Parker

A Month of... Celebrities in Comics, Day 4: We Are the World, Outside Your Window

As we all know, on December 22, 1987, Pittsburgh blowed up real good.


Panel from Star Brand #13 (March 1988); script and pencils by John Byrne, inks by Tom Palmer, colors by Andy Yanchus, letters by Joe Rosen
As we often say around here: well, that'll happen. Speaking of wells, what also will happen is following up a natural disaster with a charity rock concert. You and I both know that anytime anybody falls in a hole, big-name musicians will rush to cut a single, most or some of the proceeds of which going toward hole relief. (I should never say that phrase again.)


That's why the movers and shakers of the New Universe (except perhaps for Fred Rogers, Kurt Angle, and the Steeltown Rockers) have all...wait for it...banded together to throw a big-ass mega-concert to benefit the survivors of the Pitt! And what else could it be called but

PITT-AID!

Double-page splash spread from Justice #20 (June 1988); script by Peter David, pencils by Lee Weeks, inks by Mike Gustovich, colors by Janet Jackson, letters by Agustin Mas
(Click picture to Meat Loaf-size)
Pitt-Aid! It only sounds like the world's most disgusting drink mix. But despite the terrible name, they've actually got some pretty big-name music stars playing there. And no Dokken! But they did get Mick Jagger...


...and I'm not certain who that is to the right of Mick. I'm just guessing now: Bob Geldof? If you know better who That One Guy is, answers on a postcard in the comments and let me know!

Of course, this is clearly Aretha Franklin singing her popular hit "Think," all while doing her Grace Jones impression.


Meanwhile, Chico Marx The Edge and Bono out of U2 perform their smash single about looking for things. I should indicate at this point that author Peter David is juxtaposing the lyrics on each page with what's going on during Justice's search through the crowd for some nefarious New Universe do-badder. Here, for instance, it might possibly be inferred or detected that Justice, in his search, is unsuccessful so far, in the looking-for category.


Madonna is here, fresh from her disastrous Pepsi commercial, in which her hair was accidentally set on fire. Look out, it's still aflame! But we kid Ms. Ciccone, because her hair is actually a sentient being activated by the New Universe's White Event. "Sing 'Like a Virgin', Madonna!" "Okay, Talking Hair!" This is actually one of the incredibly rare appearances of Madonna in any comic published by Marvel, but I wish they'd done a Marvel Team-Up starring Spider-Man and her, just so Sean penn could punch photographer Peter Parker in the face.


And it wouldn't be a Peter David story without an overlabored joke, now, would it?


Kids seem to love the Peter, Paul, and Mary, and I'm sure their guest appearance here in a seldom-viewed corner of Marvel Comics did a lot to drive up sales of their homey folk LPs. Me, I like the Peter/Paul more than the Mary. Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't.


Now, this next one gave me a lot of trouble, mainly because it's kind of a vague caricature but mostly because I couldn't identify the lyrics he's a-singin'. And no, he's not the perpetually-spied-upon-by-the-Watcher Rockwell.


I spent an afternoon searching on Google for songs with these lyrics and all I came up for a song titled "Somebody's Watching You" are African American musicians. No, this is not Sly and the Family Stone, nor is it Rufus and Chaka Khan, and I'm pretty sure it's not Little Sister, which in addition to being a black band, was all-female.

For a moment I thought I'd found it: Billy Squier has a song titled "Lonely Is the Night" which features the lyrics

Somebody's watchin' you baby
So much you can do
Nobody's stoppin' you baby
From makin' it too...

...which, at least, is no

I'm rockin' tonite — I'm walkin' on air
Gonna find me some trouble — gonna grab my share
I want ya tonite — I want ya with me
Make me guilty of love in the first degree

But it turns out Squier's "Lonely Is the Night" is not the droid song we're looking for. He doesn't elongate the "you" in that lyrics. But still, I had to watch a Billy Squier music video online, so you have to, too.


I got some suggestions: Chuck Topley from Random Happenstance huckrolled me by suggesting it might be the Guy from Simply Red.

But I'm inclined to believe Neil Bradbury's keen and incisive skill at identifying real humans in comic books:


I'm going to go with Neil's excellent suggestion that this is Sting (not actually a real bee) and that Peter David simply forgot the exact lyrics of "Every Breath You Take." Wait, didn't Synchronicity have a sleeve with the lyrics on it? Well, at least there wasn't a terrible, terrible pun at work here from Mister David.

So remember, support all those people stuck down the Pitt and buy your official Pitt-Aid music and merchandise today! Me, I've got a t-shirt. In XXXXXXXXS.

Today in Comics History in Pittsburgh, December 22, 1987, 6:06 PM: Well, that'll happen

from Star Brand #13 (Marvel/New Universe, March 1988); script and pencils by John Byrne, inks by Tom Palmer, colors by Andy Yanchus, letters by Joe Rosen


from Marvel Graphic Novel: The Pitt one-shot (Marvel/New Universe, April 1988); script by John Byrne and Mark Gruenwald; pencils by Sal Buscema; inks by Stan Drake; ink assists by Chris Ivy and Donald Hudson; colors by Janet Jackson; letters by Agustin Mas, Michael Heisler, and Rick Parker


from Justice (1986 series) #18 (Marvel/New Universe, April 1988); script by Peter David,pencils by Lee Weeks, inks by Tony DeZuniga, colors by Janet Jackson, letters by Agustin Mas
That first panel above (from Star Brand) is accurate, and that panel at the top of the Justice page is not: Ken Connell was hovering above the earth when he set off the Star Brand, and therefore the hole named "The Pitt" that destroys Pittsburgh is actually the lower part of the energy sphere. Well, here, check it out in your Official Handbook of the New Universe:


from Marvel Graphic Novel: The Pitt
"And the New Universe would never be the same again."