The 1978 2017 2023 Amazing Spider-Man Mighty Marvel Comics Calendar: September Shock

This is an expanded and updated version of a post originally published September 1, 2017.

Please do not reveal the startling shock ending of September 1978 2017 2023 before...oh, it's right there.

"September Is Such Sweet Sorrow!" in The Amazing Spider-Man Mighty Marvel Comics Calendar 1978 (Marvel, 1977); pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Tom Palmer, colors by George Bell
(Click picture to look-out-below-size)

Today in Comics History, December 24, Christmas Eve: Spidey just can't win on this catching falling girls thing

This is an expanded and updated version of a post originally published December 24, 2013.




from "A Matter of Faith" in Spider-Man Holiday Special 1995 one-shot (Marvel, 1995), script by Glenn Breenberg, pencils by Kevin Maguire, inks by Jimmy Palmiotti, colors by Joe Andreani and Adam Wallenta, letters by Dave Sharpe

Today in Comics History, May 21: Man's creepy obsession with a young woman ends in the worst way possible

from Spectacular Spider-Man (1976 series) #149 (Marvel, April 1989), script by Gerry Conway, pencils and inks by Sal Buscema, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Rick Parker
Which means we can assign this a date of May 20:


from Amazing Spider-Man #121 (June 1973), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by John Romita Sr. and Tony Mortellaro, colors by David Hunt, letters by Artie Simek
See how it all fits in together? Comics!

Fun with Comics: PETER: "Aw, go fall off a bridge!"

from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #70 (Marvel, March 1969), plot and layouts by John Romita, Sr., script by Stan Lee, finishes by Jim Mooney, letters by Sam Rosen

Captain America, Master Battle Strategist

So, let's take a look at the brand-new, surely-not-released-just-to-tie-in-with-a-major-motion-picture Marvel Avengers graphic novel, in which they face off against their deadliest robot foe at a late-night electronic/dance party with lots of young people on Ecstasy! Oh, wait, no, that's Rave of Ultron. What we're perusing tonight is Rage of Ultron.


Panels from Avengers: Rage of Ultron graphic novel (June 2015); script by Rick Remender; pencils by Jerome Opeña; inks by Pepe Larraz with Mark Morales; colors by Dean White, Rachelle Rosenberg, and Dono Sanchez Almara; letters by Clayton Cowles
As in, man! That Ultron is certainly raging! Right in Manhattan, home of the Mighty Avengers! Circa the period when Hank McCoy, the Beast, was on the team, also known as The Best Era of the Avengers. Captain America is right there, to help evacuate the city by telling the panicking crowd to make their way peacefully and patriotically to the bridge. (Say, Cap, which bridge? Ah, he'll tell ya, just hang around.)

The panel above gives only a rough guesstimate of where the destruction is a-happening, but I'd place it as roughly in Midtown Manhattan, which is pretty much where all the destruction in comics books tends to occur. We're not told the precise location in the comic, but I'm making an educated guess that it's Times Square, mainly because of the sheer excess of X-rated movie theaters there. So: they're in Times Square in the 1970s!





Also, because Times Square is pretty much the only place in New York that has a street area that looks half a mile wide.



To be fair to Times Square during the seventies, it wasn't all girly theaters. Just around the corner on 42nd Street is located revival house the Gem Theater, where on the fourth floor you can find the offices of Luke Cage: Hero for Hire! (More recently, the Gem has served as the HQ for Luke's Mighty Avengers team! Who says this isn't the bountiful Bully age of edifying enlightenment? Except I can't explain why Luke Cage isn't running up to help fight Ultron, too. Maybe it's during that glorious issue where he flew to Latveria to demand of Dr. Doom "Where's my money, honey?"


Panels from Luke Cage, Hero for Hire #2 (August 1972), script by Archie Goodwin, pencils by George Tuska, inks by Billy Graham, letters by John Costanza
By the way, check out which mildly magnificent Marvel mag is being perused by ticket taker Bertha!


Cover of Our Love Story #18 (August 1972), pencils by Gene Colan, inks by John Romita, Sr., alterations by Marie Severin
Anyway, my point, and I do have one, is that Captain America does direct the fleeing crowds of civilians to evacuate Manhattan by heading east to the George Washington Bridge.



Um. Cap. The George Washington Bridge is west of Manhattan. (And, pretty darn far north of Midtown.)



Cap's sorta of between a rock and a hard place here even if he wasn't directing panicky people in the wrong direction. There's no easy escape route from Midtown that doesn't involve going into tunnels (the Lincoln Tunnel to the west of Midtown, the Queens-Midtown Tunnel to the east, both in orange), which I can't imagine is the best place to send folks during a crisis. But honestly, Cap? "Keep moving downtown on Broadway, head for the Manhattan Bridge." would probably be the fastest evacuation he could hope for.

Y'know, it's too bad Spider-Man wasn't an Avenger during this era, because if Spider-Man knows anything, he knows where the George Washington Bridge is.



Panels from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #121 (June 1973), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by John Romita Sr. and Tony Mortellaro, colors by David Hunt, letters by Artie Simek
Then again, that's probably the Brooklyn Bridge that's pictured there, but improperly described as the George Washington (especially since he's show swinging downtown from the United Nations). Does no Marvel Manhattanite know the bridges of New York?

But hey, it's not like Steve Rogers was born in New York City or has lived there ever since he got de-Cap-sicled. Oh wait. Yes, he has.

A Moment of DC Animated Universe Awesome: Catches girls, any size

It's time for another Moment of DC Animated Universe Awesome! So why, oh why are we starting out with...Spider-Man? Well, why not? After all it is his fiftieth anniversary!


Panels from Amazing Spider-Man #121 (June 1973), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by John Romita Sr. and Tony Mortellaro, colors by David Hunt, letters by Artie Simek


Yes, once more, it's that Excessively Evil Executive Norman Osborn in his nom-de-bande-dessinée the Green Goblin, engaging in the urban sport of, what we here at Comics Oughta Be Fun, regardless of our crush on Ms. G. Stacy, affectionally refer to as Gwen-Tossin'. All together now...aiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!




But don't worry! Spider-Man is here!




Webbing! That never fails*. *Caution: webbing may sometimes fail.




Oopsie.

So, let's shuffle over with that "nothing more to see here, folks" expression to the DC Animated Universe, where Superman is faced with the threat of mechnical menace Metallo has kidnapped Earth-1A's Jenn Tracy (caution: character name may have been made up by me for comedic effect) and is threatening to toss her off Metropolis's George Washington Brooklyn Shuster Bridge! It's the popular sport of...wait for it...Jenn-Tossin'!


Panels from Superman Adventures #2 (December 1996), script by Scott McCloud, pencils by Rick Burchett, inks by Terry Austin, colors by Marie Severin, letters by L. Lois Buhalis


It's Superman! Hooray! Let's all sing along to the Superman: The Animated Series theme song. You all know the words!


Superman, Superman
This is a guy, name of Superman
Superman, Superman
He is a man known as Superman

He's faster than a spee-eding train
He'll soar through skies just to save Lois Lane ('coz he's)

Superman, Superman
Don't call him Clark, call him Superman
Superman, Superman
The Man of Steel, he is Superman

Superman, Superman
Superman, Superman,
Superman!
(Superman.)

So, can Superman save a girl from falling off a bridge just the way Spider-Man didn't?




Why, yes. Yes, he can.




Twice.




So: Superman > Spider-Man. Oh, c'mon, you knew it all along.


Panels from Superman vs. The Amazing Spider-Man (January 1976), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Ross Andru, Superman redraws by Neal Adams, inks by Dick Giordano, inking assists by Josef Rubinstein and Bob Wiacek, colors by Jerry Serpe, letters by Gaspar Saladino

So...Happy Anniversary, Spidey! Um...sorry.

Happy Leap Day! (Or: What If™ Scott McCloud Drew Amazing Spider-Man #121?)

Gwen-Tossin', Day 5: Meanwhile, on Earth-7736...

Pages from What If? #24 (December 1980), script by Tony Isabella; breakdowns by Gil Kane; finishes by Frank Giacoia with Carl Gafford, Peter Poplaski, Ron Zalme, and Joe Albelo; colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Tom Orzechowski

Gwen-Tossin', Day 4: No wonder Spidey couldn't stop the Green Goblin...he's huge

Page from Amazing Spider-Man #365 (August 1992), plot by Tom DeFalco, script by Stan Lee, pencils and inks by John Romita Sr., colors by Joe Rosas, letters by Chris Eliopoulos

Gwen-Tossin', Day 3: The Fine Art of Gwen-Tossin'

from Marvels: Portraits of a Universe #3 (May 1995), art by Hector Gomez
(Click picture to big-emotional-moment-size)

Gwen-Tossin', Day 2: Better check the oil on that thing, Gobby

Panel from Amazing Spider-Man #510 (September 2004), script by J. Michael Straczynski, pencils by Mike Deodato, inks by Joe Pimentel, colors by Matt Milla, letters by Cory Petit

Gwen-Tossin', Day 1: I'll tumble 4 ya

The Mid-Day Matinee this week, all week: Gwen-Tossin'! It's the Sport of Kings Goblins! I can't tell you exactly how how the scoring is computed—obviously, you get points for tossing Gwen off a bridge in the first place, but there's also extra points to be had for style, difficulty, and how loud Spidey yells "NO!" Trouble is, it can only be played once...unless you get some of those clones from Professor Miles Warren. Then, it's a party game for all! Let's all adjourn to the George Washington Brooklyn Bridge and have ourselves a weekly competition round of...Gwen-Tossin'! First up: original recipe Gwen-Tossin'!


from Amazing Spider-Man #121 (June 1973), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by John Romita Sr. and Tony Mortellaro, colors by David Hunt, letters by Artie Simek

Also, every time you don't cover your mouth when you sneeze, you send Aunt May closer to her grave.

Cough cough cough. Please excuse the lack of a proper post for the moment...I am a very sick little stuffed bull with a bad winter cold. Cough cough cough. Please email me some chicken soup using the comments field below.

What, you want me to get out of bed and do a real post? Oh, my aching little stuffed head! I can't do that. You know, once upon a time there was a guy, who despite being so sick that he shoulda stayed in bed:


All panels are from Amazing Spider-Man #121 (June 1973), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by John Romita Sr. and Tony Mortellaro, colors by David Hunt, letters by Artie Simek

But he didn't. And then this is what happened:



So there you have it: inarguable proof that getting out of bed when you're sick kills Gwen Stacy. And I won't be a part of that.

(See you in a day or two, tho'!)

Sick bull, in his fuzzy blue pyjamas, sick bull, better bring him chicken noodle soup...

Hi hi hiCHOO! (sniff) It's me, folks, the under-the-weather Bully the High-Temperature Little Stuffed bull, apologizing to you goo healthy folks that I don't have a proper post tonight, I mean, what I'm feel as under the flu bug as Mister Peter Parker did...


Panels from Amazing Spider-Man #121 (June 1973), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by John Romita Sr. and Tony Mortellaro, color by David Hunt, letters by Artie Simek

What's more, when you have a cold, try not to hang around people who are showing off their giant snowball collection:



...especially when what the doctor (Strange, Richards, or Connors) receommends is heading straight home to bed and take some speed! Wait, no, I think I've misread that panel:



Because who knows: after you down your two or three bottles of Narcoleptussin-R, the sure cure for cough and colds, you may be called on to run some errands. Especially when you might be called upon to save Miss Gwen Stacy when she apparently has slipped on some slick ice while climbing around on the Brooklyn Bridge. That'll teach you to wear those big spiked Jimmy Choos, Gwendy!



Hopefully your mind will be clear and sharp enough to do this:


Panels from What If? #24 (December 1980), script by Tony Isabella, breakdowns by Gil Kane, finishes and inks by Frank Giacoia, with Carl Gafford, Peter Poplaski, Ron Zalme, and Joe Albelo, colors by Carl Gafford, and letters by Tom Orzechowski

Here's a helpful hint: if you didn't hear a "snap," you're in like flynn.



Now, make sure she takes you home and tucks you into bed, and brings you some of Aunt Stacy's Chicken Noodle Soup. By which I mean, plenty of hugs and kisses. Because half the fun of having a cold is giving it to someone you love right? cough, cough