365 Days of Defiance, Day 70: You can't pull the wool over this little sheep's eyes

As we saw yesterday, the Justice Society was founded to fight injustice, to right that which is wrong, and to serve all mankind! Also: they couldn't remember how to spell the word "League." (It's confusing! I keep wanting to write "Leeg!") So how is speedy founding member All-Flash (not actually his name but instead the name of his comic book) going to battle fascists within the borders of the contiguous forty-eight states? (To heck with Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Guam, etc.) By exceeding the laws of physics and breaking every traffic rule in the county, that's how!:



Panels from All Star Comics #4 (March-April 1941), script by Gardner F. Fox, pencils and inks by Everett E. Hibbard
Flash leads by example! I mean, not the dressing up in red and blue tights and wearing a salad bowl on your head example, but by teaching how to resist the snakes within our midst! In other words, he's rousing up the general public by teaching them about the terrors of loathsome hate literature. Also: knowing is half the battle!



Remember: to successfully and morally resist the forces of fascism in our great country, do not have the wool pulled over your eyes. (Exception: the great hero Sheep-Man.) Also, play darts with guns! No, ignore that last one. Just don't stand still twiddling your thumbs when you hear hate speech, no matter who it's coming from. (There is no exception for the "highest office" in the land, by the way.) Isn't that right, Flash?


And that's what the Flash will always believe in: truth, equality, and tolerance for all people regardless of nationality, with zero tolerance for racial slurs


OH FOR PETE'S SAKE JAY YOU WERE DOING SO WELL UNTIL THAT LAST PANEL

365 Days of Defiance, Day 69*: The Justice Society is formed to fight the fifth column by using big-ass word balloons

Panels from All Star Comics #4 (March-April 1941), script by Gardner F. Fox, pencils and inks by Everett E. Hibbard
Tune in tomorrow to see how Flash, the Master of Going Faster, deals with the enemies of America! (Hint: he goes quicker than them.)

* Nice.**
** This footnote satisfies the requirement by international internet law that all mentions of the number sixty-nine be accompanied by the word "nice."

Table Talk

So, here's a very famous comic book cover:


All Star Comics #37 (October-November 1947), art by Irwin Hasen

So, some questions about this iconic image:

• Is the JSA's meeting room wedge-shaped? Because that's an awful narrow wall their seal is on. Do they perhaps, meet in the Flatiron Building?

• I'm assuming the JSA meeting room doesn't normally have restraints screwed into the wall. Did the Injustice Society bring them along? Also, screws and drywall anchors? Did this necessitate a stop at a hardware store? We know that Wonder Woman of this era loses her strength when she's bound by a man, but couldn't The Atom or Hawkman rip those manacles out of the wall? Why isn't Johnny Thunder saying "Cei-U?" Was he warned not to by the Canada Employment and Immigration Union? Do you think the ISW teased the Atom because they had to mount his manacles so low? Did the Atom cry? I bet he cried.
• Where's WIldcat? Wildcat wouldn't have stood for this nonsense. Wildcat would have hit them. With his fists.
• Uh oh...I think Per Degaton has spotted us. Quick, hide!
• So, who makes off with the best part of the country? Vandal Savage, as fitting his high ranking in the DC Universe's Rogue's Gallery, seems to be capturing the largest square mileage of America: he's pretty much carving himself out the Louisiana Purchase. Those wealth-building Texas oil wells and rich Wisconsin cheese will come in handy in his new criminal empire.
• On the other hand, Vandal Savage could have just sat back and pointed at the area he wanted, because between the Brain Wave and the Wizard, they're pretty much leaving him some wide open spaces to occupy. In fact, Savage is conning himself out of Idaho and the Oklahoma Panhandle! I guess they decided nobody needs to criminally reign over those states.
• Likewise, the Gambler is smart in staking out Las Vegas and Reno for himself, but he's missed out on the rich vineyards of Northern California! And he'll be sorry he stuck so close to the coast when Lex Luthor drops California into the Pacific Ocean.
• Most foolish choice in criminal empire: Per Degaton. Sooner or later he will realize his silly mistake and be very irritated with the others when he realizes he doesn't actually have any land to call his own. Ah, well, perhaps he's planning on installing service stations with exorbitant prices along Interstate Route 81. Three bucks for a package of Hostess Cupcakes? That is highway robbery.
• Do you think they all brought their own knives? Did they get a value bargain deal by buying six of them at the same time? Or, maybe those are the JSA's steak knives.
• Do you think that's the same table that's seen on this famous cover?

All Star Comics #3 (Winter 1940-1941), art by Everett E. Hibbard

Man, Ma Hunkel's gonna be honked if she has to polish all those deep knife gouges out of the surface of the table. Still, some people think a table is for sitting on and don't seem to have any respect for history:


Justice Society of America #1 (February 2007), art by Alex Ross

So, there you go: a lesson we should all learn—if you do happen to get captured within your own headquarters by a team of supervillains who are too dumb to divide up a country into equal shares, at least ask them to put down some cardboard or a cutting board before they cut into your nice new table. The Avengers' table never has these problems!

Separated at Birth: I would not be able to equate my life with sand

L: All Star Comics #35 (June-July 1947), art by Irwin Hasen
R: JSA #72 (June 2005), art by Alex Ross "after Hasen"

(Click picture to dega-size)