Today in Comics History, December 17, 1903: Compared to other realities, our Wright Brothers totally suck

This is an expanded and updated version of a post originally published December 17, 2014.

Today in American History (not just comics, altho' they overlap, as you shall see): one of the most important technological steps forward in humanity as the Wright Brothers finally realized our dream of flying. (Insert your own lost luggage joke here.)


from "Scoops...Pictures to Remember" in Real Fact Comics #1 (DC, March 1946), pencils and inks by George Roussos
Because the name of the comic book is Real Facts, i assure you that is fact, brother, just exactly as it happened, maybe minus Lex Luthor there underneath the yellow hat. Exciting, huh?



Well, actually to me, a little stuffed bull yearnin' for adventure, that portrayal seems a little bit static and posed. Let's eee if I can find a more dynamic portrayal of the Wright Brothers launch:


from "Amazing Men of Aviation" in Amazing Man Comics #12 (Centaur, May 1940); text, pebcils, and inks by Joseph A. Kaliff
Ah man, that's not exciting and thrilling! That's practially a text page, the one page of a comic book all good fans have vowed to never read. But wait! Surely a story printed in EC Comics' notorious thriller book Shock SuspenStories oughta put a thrill in your spine, a bounce in your step, and a monkey on your back! A rabid, voodoo-cursed monkey from the planet Venus, that is.


from "The Arrival" in Shock SuspenStories #8 (EC, April 1953), co-plot by Bill Gaines, co-plot and script by Al Feldstein, pencils and inks by Al Williamson, colors by Marie Severin, letters by Jim Wroten
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD BILL GAINES that's the boringest portrayal of Kitty Hawk I've ever seen. EC may be short for "Educational Comics," but this panel deserves to be tossed out of the monster-chiller-horror-theater pantheon of EC.

Even this over-scripted page from the action-thribbled Captain Jet comic is pretty much bog standard dull:


from "Twelve Seconds That Changed History!" in Captain Jet #3 (Farrell, September 1952), creators uncredited and unknown
No, for real action-packed portrayals of Kitty Hawk, you gotta stick with that little-known upstart company Marvel Comics:


from What If...? (1977 series) #14 (Marvel, April 1979), plot by Gary Friedrich, script by Don Glut, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Pablo Marcos, colors by "D. R. Martin" (a pen-name for various artists), letters by Tom Orzechowski
Yep, that's from the reality where Nick Fury fought cosmic Nazis in outer space! Man, the Wright brothers were so much less impressive than Zephram Cochrane and his hog-piloted warp-drive test rocket. That'll do, pig. That'll do.

Even on DC's Earth-1, we've got a wingding of a reality when the Wrong Brothers (tee hee hee) need help from Wonder Woman, the Sensational New Character Find of 1917!


from "The Secret Hall of Fame" in Wonder Woman #69 (DC, October 1954), script by Robert Kanigher, pencils and inks by Harry G. Peter
They keep wondering what they can do to save Wonder Woman in the post WW84 era, and I'll tell ya, they need to once again make her a time-travelling secret agent reporting to one of Santa's Elves. That there's good comics.

So remember: you gotta fight for the (w)right to more exciting Wright Brothers comic books!



from Simpsons Comics #200 (Bongo, March 2013), script by Ian Boothby, pencils by Phil Ortiz, inks by Mike DeCarlo, colors by Art Villanueva, letters by Karen Bates