Monday, January 20, 2014

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 20: Mister Morgan's Monster

Here he is...Mr. Morgan's Monster! Sort of a cross between the Golem and It! the Living Colossus. Please note the defining characteristic of a Marvel monster: the little orange underpants.

Splash page from "Mister Morgan's Monster" in Strange Tales #99 (August 1962), script by Stan Lee (?), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers

Robots! They didn't work out too well, even though they looked way cool.

Until Mr. (I dunno, he was probably Professor or Doctor, but then they'd ruin the alliteration) Morgan built the world's first humanoid robot! And gave it tiny orange underpants. That was the most important thing.

Morgan had invented the world's first Roomba! Also, traffic cop in a sash.

And so, because mankind cannot stand that which it does not understand (or, more probably, thinks is ugly), robots must die! And let's not diassemble them for spare parts or anything...let's toss them over a cliff like Walt Disney's lemmings.

But, y'know, it's never a bad idea to squirrel away one robot for later. Put him in your basement behind the water heater, is what I say.

Wouldn't ya know it...aliens are about to invade! As we like to say around here, well, that'll happen

The aliens have arrived and they're a gas, gas, gas! Also, by the looks of things, there's no need for shirts in outer space. How do you guys pick sides when you're playing blacktop b-ball?

The aliens attempt to steal the robot so they can make copies, and, I guess, use them to invade other worlds, or destroy the humans, or vacuum their homes, if only the robot didn't scare the little alien babies. I guess what I'm saying is that nobody wants a handy household helper with the silhouette of Darkseid.

Heck no! He won't go! Say, Jack, shouldn't those be some special space vibro-chains or matter-manacles or energy-links? Also, for best results when trying to kidnap something, don't crawl up on its shoulders.

Then they try to drag the robot back to their ship but they've wasted so much time that, I dunno, their spaceship turned into a pumpkin? And so they blow themselves up. Yes, it's the only alien invading army defeated by a slight delay!

Me, if I had been Stan Lee (which is a thought I pretty much have several times each day) I would have had the robot self-detruct when aboard the alien ship, destroying it and keeping his prime directive of not leaving the basement intact, but then you wouldn't be able to have this poignant moment:

What, you're just gonna leave him there? Not even going to toss him over the cliff with the rest of them? Geez, Philip Morgan. We can't have nice things! And so, we discover...that even an android...can cry.

Well, doing some Monday morning post-invasion quarterbacking, he didn't deserve that. And he certainly didn't deserve to get the "Bwah! I'm a frightening fuzzy monster!" depiction on the cover. But sadly, the Robot Anti-Defamation League would not form until the year 2091.

Cover of Strange Tales #99 (August 1962), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers

Special reprint bonus! Curiously enough, when the story was reprinted 13 years later in the Marvel monster-horror-chiller anthology Weird Wonder Tales, Mr. M.'s M was! Perhaps to make him look not quite so like a big fat bald naked guy in the last few panels.

Splash page from "Mister Morgan's Monster" in Strange Tales #99 (August 1962), script by Stan Lee (?), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers, 1970s recolors by unknown. Incidentally, the reprint note in the lower right hand corner is wrong: the story's reprinted from Strange Tales #99, not Journey into Mystery.

At least he gets to kick some alien butt on the reprint cover.

Cover of Weird Wonder Tales #10 (June 1975), pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Mike Esposito

Ah, Mister Morgan's Monster. This world was never meant for someone as beautiful as you.

1 comment:

Erich said...

"I wonder why nobody don't like me? Oh, is it the fact that I'm ugly?"