Monday, February 04, 2013

An ode to monsters in little pants.

And now, my poem about monster underpants.


Splash page from "Lo-Karr, Bringer of Doom!" in Journey into Mystery #75 (December 1961), plot by Stan Lee, script by Larry Lieber, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers

Big and scary monsters, they'll put you in a trance
But from whatever realm they come they're always wearing pants



Splash page from "Zzutak, The Thing That Shouldn't Exist!!" in Strange Tales #88 (September 1961), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Steve Ditko

They'll shatter towns and eat armies and through the earth they'll tear
And you can always count on one thing; that's their underwear



Splash page from "Fin Fang Foom!" in Strange Tales #89 (October 1961), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers

They walk upright and also talk so they're not animals
The Comics Code protects us all from monster genitals



Splash page from "The Return of...Grogg!" in Strange Tales #87 (August 1961), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers

They'll tear up all your cities! They rip apart your beaches!
They'll stomp on towns and humankind, clad only in their breeches



Splash page from "What? What? What Was Gargantus!" in Strange Tales #80 (January 1961), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Steve Ditko

Their typography is ragged as if it's been bitten through
But they're wearing tiny pants whether they're orange or if they're blue



Splash page from "The Return of Gargantus" in Strange Tales #85 (June 1961), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers

Where do they get these shorts from? Marvel never even knew
But every one from A to Z wears pants, except Xemnu.



Splash page from "I Was a Slave of the Living Hulk!" in Journey into Mystery #62 (November 1960), script by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers

(Also Tabooooooooo!)


Splash page from "The Return of Taboo!" in Strange Tales #77 (June 1960), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers


2 comments:

SallyP said...

It does make one wonder. Is there a company out there that makes giant monster pants? Do they do repairs? How does the monster pay for them? Who washes them?

Inquiring minds want to know!

JonJ said...

Gargantus is coming! Exposition City is doomed!