Monday, March 28, 2011

Amaze-ing Monday: The overhead view is of me in a maze

And today's maze is...

from The Bionic Woman #4 (May 1978), art by Jack Sparling

Whoa! Now, that's an amaze-ing maze! Trouble is, it really isn't meant to be solved on the page, so hey! Put away your pencils, folks. No, this is a maze meant as a gauntlet through which Jaime Sommers, the Bionic Woman, must run the gauntlet to save her friend, Dr. Rudy Welles. Well, huh, I dunno. If I Was a Bionic Bull, i'd just run right through those paper-thin walls and out the other side, avoiding the vicious minotaur be being sure to pick myself up that delicious, yummy cheese in the middle.

But no, Jaime's gotta do it the hard way...through the power of step-dancing!

Granted, there are some advantages Jaime has over her male counterpart, Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Guy...she definitely looks better in a track suit!

Oh, did I mention that Jaime is being pursued by the Invisible Woman in a thong? No? I didn't mention that? Jaime is being pursued by the Invisible Woman in a thong. I figgered it was worth mentioning.

Still, if I'da been Jaime, I woulda lept over the walls in one big bionic bound (with accompanying bionic sound effect). Better yet, I'd have sent ahead Maxmillian the Bionic Dog.

Because Max can do anything:

Say, do you know why he's called Maxmillian? Because he cost a million dollars. Bwah-ha-ha-ha! Oh, Glen A. Larson, thank you for making us laugh at life...again.

So, the moral of the story? When it comes to running your deathtrap mazes, accept no substitution and always go for the real thing:

Yeah, we're lookin' at you, Miss Zoe Slater:

And, for best results: choose Max!


Adam Barnett said...

I, for one, really enjoyed the Zoe Slater "Bionic Woman" series. ;-)

Mike Podgor said...

If you ran into a minotaur, wouldn't your mutual bovinity allow you to escape unscathed?