Whatever will Jonah's Cheapsake Christmas Bonus be today? Could it be a ratty old teddy bear? Or a can of you'll-poke-your-eye-out Pick-Up Sticks?
Panels from "Not a Creature Was Stirring" in Marvel Holiday Special 1996 one-shot (December 1996), script by Mark Waid, pencils by Pat Olliffe, inks by Brett Breeding, colors by Joe Andreani, letters by Jon Babcock
Maybe this time it'll be a thousand dollar Christmas bonus...
Oh. A thousand dollars in confederate money.
On the bright side, Peter got bus money. Looks like a cool seventy-five cents, which is nothing to scoff at. (Except that Manhattan bus fare in 1996 was a buck fifty.)
Yesterday, we experienced JJJ's Daily Bugle Christmas bonus that is a cigar-scented Christmas card. Can it get (in my Chandler Bing! voice) any better?
Why yes! Yes, it can. A real cigar!
Panels from Amazing Spider-Man #130 (March 1974), script by Gerry Conway, pencils by Ross Andru, inks by Frank Giacoia and Dave Hunt, colors by Petra Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek
from Star Brand #12 (Marvel/New Universe, March 1988), script and breakdowns by John Byrne, finishes by Tom Palmer, colors by Andy Yanchus, letters by Joe Rosen
Also this issue, later in the day: Byrne, Howard Mackie, and Mark Gruenwald die! Plus everybody at the comic book convention. Whew, glad I stayed home that day!
from Star Brand #12 (Marvel/New Universe, March 1988), script and breakdowns by John Byrne, finishes by Tom Palmer, colors by Andy Yanchus, letters by Joe Rosen
from Psi-Force #18 (Marvel/New Universe, April 1988), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Romeo Tanghal, colors by Nel Yomtov, letters by Joe Rosen
Remember when J. Jonah Jameson used to give out crumpled, well-used ten dollar bills as a Christmas present? Could his bonuses get any better than that?
Well, no.
Panel from Amazing Spider-Man Annual (1964 series) #10 (1976), co-plot by Len Wein, co-plot and script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Frank Giacoia and Mike Esposito, colors by Petra Goldberg, letters by John Costanza
Special holiday bonus!: using brand-new HTML-6, I have actually programmed scratch-and-sniff technology into this very blogpost! Simply scratch the image and smell the mouth-watering scent of cheap cigars!
Since I have always been six (which is a very good age to be), I have never been a teenager. And yet Mama Bull loves making us Teenage Kitchen Fondue. Which is weird, because I'm pretty sure our kitchen is not a teenager.
Fondue is all the rage in our home and we even have the special color-coded extendo-forks (I get the blue ones!). I'm pretty fond of cheese fondue, or cooking little meatballs inside a fondue cauldron of scalding peanut oil, but there is nothing quite on earth like Mock Cheese Fondue made but from Apple Juice. This is as opposed to Mock Apple Pie which is made from Ritz Crackers, so I'm guessing somewhere out there is at least one recipe for Mock Ritz Crackers made out of cheese.
Also, don't forget the Psychedelic Dessert Fondue, about which warnings have been given at Woodstock.
Most important, Mama Bull's recipe card has a Screen Actors Guild card of its own, because she lent the card to neighborhood friends Michael Diamond, Adam Yauch and Adam Horovitz. "Such nice boys they are," says Mama Bull, "but why is their music so loud?" Here we can see the recipe card in its starring role!
And now thanks to the magic of YouTube, you tube too can watch the guest appearance of Mama Bull's recipe card in this very same Beastie Boys music video!:
"Body Movin'" music video by The Beastie Boys (November 1998), directed by Adam Yauch
The video itself is a spoof of (and uses footage from) the groovy 1968 Italian action movie Danger: Diabolik, based on the even-groovier European comics series by Angela and Luciana Giussani. And the character inspired Grant Morrison's X-Men character Fantomex, so in terms of Six Degrees of Comics World Separation, that means my Mama is connected to Xorn in fewer connections than you might think! Also, she is connected to robot pals Crow and Tom Servo, because Danger: Diabolik was the film riffed on in the final episode* of Mystery Science Theater 3000!Watch it here now!
To sum up: Mama Bull's fondue recipe card is famous around the world for its starring role in a sexy Italian action movie. That's pretty much more than any of us can say, unless you are of course regular Comics Oughta Be Fun! reader and commenter Monica Vitti. Ciao, baby!
*Yes, yes, I know, Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders. I pfui on your Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders.
from Letter 44 #23 (Oni, February 2016), script by Charles Soule, pencils and inks by Alberto Jiménez Alburquerque, colors by Dan Jackson, letters by Crank!
Yesterday, we asked the musical question "Did Jonah actually double the five dollar Christmas bonuses for the Bugle staff as he promised?"
Panel from Marvel Team-Up (1972 series) #79 (March 1979), co-plot and script by Chris Claremont, co-plot and pencils by John Byrne, inks by Terry Austin, colors by Glynis Wein, letters by Tom Orzechowski
To quote Charles Dickens: he was better than his word. Or, maybe, just exactly the same as his word.
Tomorrow: More of the Twelve Christmas Bonuses of Jameson!
Camper Van Beethoven is an American rock band formed in Redlands, California in 1983 and later located in Santa Cruz and San Francisco. Their style mixes elements of pop, ska, punk rock, folk, alternative country, and world music. The band initially polarized audiences within the hardcore punk scene of California's Inland Empire before finding wider acceptance and, eventually, an international audience.
Oh, I've made another one of my silly mistakes. I mean the one born in 1770.
Peanuts (December 16, 1953), by Charles Schulz
Clearly this is a very important day for one member of the Peanuts gang, and I'm not talking about Charlotte Braun.
from "December 16th" in Peanuts (2012 series) #14 (Boom, December 2013), script by Caleb Moore, pencils by Vicki Scott, inks by Paige Braddock, colors by Donna Almendrala, letters by Alexis E. Fajardo
It's a day to celebrate the best way I know how: with cake.
Peanuts (December 16, 1954), by Charles Schulz
Did you know that many other famous people were born on December 16? Wow, that maternity hospital musta been crowded.
Still, there's no reason not to celebrate the works of this unforgettable man.
Peanuts (December 16, 1958), by Charles Schulz
So remember: when you celebrate the birth of Ludwig van Beethoven, the whole world celebrates with you! Sing his popular hit along with me: Da da da DAHHHHH!
Remember yesterday's actual documentation that the standard J. Jonah Jameson Christmas bonus was five bucks? Here's the later-in-the-story callback in which he promises to increase that bonus by a factor of two!
Panels from Marvel Team-Up #106 (June 1981), script by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Carl Gafford, letters by Diana Albers
Will Jonah keep his made-under-Scorpion-duress Christmas promise? We shall see.
cover of Crime Detective Comics v.1 #6 (Hillman, January-February 1949), pencils and inks by Dan Zolnerowich
I'm going ape about why this entire set-up doesn't appear in a single story at all of this comic book! And I say it oughta! And why would a gorilla have a safe anyway? That's bananas! (Please fill in your answers in the comments!)
from Psi-Force #18 (Marvel/New Universe, April 1988), script by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Romeo Tanghal, colors by Nel Yomtov, letters by Joe Rosen
Please take note of how much J. Jonah Grincheson gives out for Christmas bonuses: a whoppin' half-a-sawbuck. Don't forget this: there will be a test over the next few days!
Panels from Marvel Team-Up #106 (June 1981), script by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Mike Esposito, colors by Carl Gafford, letters by Diana Albers
from The Spectacular Spider-Man (1976 series) #136 (Marvel, March 1988), script by Peter David, pencils and inks by Sal Buscema, colors by Janet Jackson, letters by Rick Parker
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