Today in Comics History, August 17: Happy birthday, Lois Lane!

Born on this day in the DC Universe (according to their 1976 calendar): the star of probably the longest-running DC comic star who didn't have super-powers (most of the time): Lois Lane!


from Super DC Calendar 1976 (DC, 1975), letters by Ben Oda




Lois premiered in 1938, but don't ask her age. She doesn't look a day above 75.

Also remember: Perry White would rather give a raise than go shopping for Lois Lane.


from "Lois Lane, Sleeping Beauty?" in World's Finest Comics #36 (DC, September 1948), script by Bill Woolfolk, pencils by Wayne Boring, inks by Stan Kaye (?)
A typical Lois Lane birthday party! All her favorite people are there! Also attending, Lucy Lane!


from "Get Out of My Life, Superman!" in Lois Lane (1958 series) #80 (DC, January 1968), script by Leo Dorfman, pencils and inks by Kurt Schaffenberger
For Lois's birthday party, her Daily Planet work friends spared absolutely no expense…in cutting up old newspapers and making a mural.

They used pins because, as you know, Jimmy can't be trusted around glue.


But who isn't at her party? That's right...Superman! And, hey, what are the odds, also Clark Kent, but Lois doesn't even notice he's not there.

Let's hope Lois gets a calculator for her birthday so she can finally add up 2 + 2.


That power-duo Lucy Lane and Jimmy Olsen try to fake a gift from Superman by giving her some DC Universe non-articulated action figures ($2-3 each because they're out of the box).

They're not as good as the gold ones Superman gave her last year. Oh, Crimea River, Lois.


Now that everybody can see Lois is a little upset at her party, it would be a good idea to really be completely polite and nice to her and OH GEEZ JIMMY NO

Also, who made that saying up? Julius Schwartz?


Well, surely Superman has been busy saving the world or thwarting alien monsters or carting Lex Luthor off to jail or OH GEEZ SUPERMAN NO

Wow, my writing style has really evolved into the half-sentence followed by a shocked reaction all in caps, hasn't it?


And so you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me


Don't do anything you can't undo later, Lois...OH GEEZ LOIS


Everything's back to normal at the end of the story, natch, folks.

Grant Morrison gives us Lois a much NICER birthday. Technically these events start on the dayt before her birthday, so it's what would be August 16, but A) I wanted to keep this all together thematically and B) I forgot to put it up yesterday.



from All Star Superman #2 (DC, February 2006), script by Grant Morrison, pencils by Frank Quitely, inks and colors by Jamie Grant, letters by Phil Balsman
It really is the perfect birthday...oh.


Anyway, Superman gives Lois four special gifts. The first one is telling her he's Clark Kent (which she doesn't believe).

The second gift is Danskins.


And the third gift is super powers. No, not the Jack Kirby comic book toy-tie in miniseries (which woulda been a great gift), but actual distilled essence of Superman. Ew, maybe don't sell it that way, Kal.


from All Star Superman #3 (DC, May 2006), script by Grant Morrison, pencils by Frank Quitely, inks and colors by Jamie Grant, letters by Phil Balsman
Lois takes to it pretty quickly! She ain't got time to think/sing the lyrics to "Can You Read My Mind" during this flight!


Reminder: do not invite DC's version of Marvel's Hercules to your birthday party. Especially don't invite two of them.



Like every Superman story, there is no possible way this could go wrong somehow.



In case you thought I forgot about the fourth gift:


Did ya have a good birthday, Lois?

SNORE


Anyway, happy birthday to America's only journalist, Lois Lane! And hey, what did Superman get you back in that first story I showed you? Why, Superman got Lois a gift card from Boston Market.


from World's Finest Comics #36