Face It Tiger February, Day 22: If you can't go to the door for thirty minutes a day, you don't deserve a hot date

from "Face It Tiger" in the unauthorized but wonderful Spidey Zine #1 (self-published, March 2016), by Hannah Blumenreich
Spidey Zine is no longer available (you can find bits and pieces and pages on Twitter by searching for Hannah Blumenreich), but she also had a (fully authorized!) short story in Amazing Spider-Man (2015 series) #25! I'm not reproducing any of it here so you go out and hunt down that issue, but Peter Parker gets a dog named Sandwich. Find it and love it!