Today (ignore the caption that sez "Tomorrow"...dunno what that's doin' there): it's the two hundred and eighth birthday of everybody's favorite Marisa Tomei impersonator, Aunt May Reilly Parker Octavius Terwilliger Jameson!
from Amazing Spider-Man Annual (1964 series) #20 (Marvel, November 1986), script by Christopher Priest (as Fred Schiller and Ken McDonald), pencils by Mark Beachum, inks by Bob Wiacek, colors by Bob Sharen, letters by Jim Novak
Yes oh yes, but which day is Aunt May's birthday on?
What, didn't you read above? Today is Aunt May's birthday!:
from Spider-Man Free Comic Book Day 2007 one-shot (Marvel, May 2007), script by Dan Slott, pencils by Phil Jimenez, inks by Andy Lanning and John Dell, colors by Jeromy Cox, letters by Chris Eliopoulos and Cory Petit
I don't know if this is the first canon reference to her birthday date, but of course she could have only been born in May. It all makes perfect sense, just like Spider-Man's mother November Fitzpatrick Parker. I'm just kidding there: Pete's mother's pre-married name was Mary Jane Fitzpatrick. "Mary Jane?" Oh...dear.
Anyway, now we know (which is approximately 67% of the battle, adjusted for inflation): Aunt May's birthday is on May 5. Except (thank you, Marvel), when it isn't.
from Amazing Spider-Man: Full Circle #1 one-shot (Marvel, December 2019), script and art by a virtual jam band of creators I'm not gonna list here
Oh. So her birthday might be on the 19th. (We don't know which month, eiother!) And May's having a...werewolf-themed party?
Yikes! Too bad they didn't invent Kraven the Hunter. Anyway, this is a fake Aunt May or she's mind-controlled or a Skrull or one of the Puppet Master's subjects, and I will use that excuse to eliminate the nineteenth as her birthdate. May Fifth forever, May-fans!
Peter Parker, who often does six impossible things after 11:45 AM when he crawls out of bed, late for his physics class, really doesn't want to remember this birthday of Aunt May's. It's just too doggonbe weird.
Lest you be frighted (I was!) that the Punisher was about to destroy the entire universe like in that one cool What If...?, this story actually does have a happy ending and yet another lesson for Petey to learn. That makes lesson number 13,428.
Whatdaya think Spidey got his Aunt May
"Bullpen Bulletins" from Marvel Comics cover-dated July 1991
Anyway, it's liable to be a hootin' and hollerin' South of the Border flavored celebration taking place on Cinco de Mayo!
from Spider-Man Free Comic Book Day 2007
So, Happy Mexican Birthday, Aunt May!
"¡Felíz Cumpleaños!": A Mickey Mouse Cartoon (Disney, November 18, 2015); written by Darrick Bachman, Alonso Ramirez Ramos, and Paul Rudish; directed by Alonso Ramirez Ramos
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1 comment:
I have zero idea what the junk is going on with everyone turned to werewolves but no matter how famished Peter is you’d think he’d pause at his cake being a slice of Sgt. Pepper’s jacket with a badminton shuttlecock on top.
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