Friday, March 11, 2011

An American Bull in London

Hi hi hi everybody! Or p'raps I should say, hullo hullo hullo, as I have returned to one of my favorite places in the world...the American Airlines terminal at John F. Kennedy Airport! Naw, i'm just kidding. (That's not even in the top ten.) Nosiree (and nomissees), I am actually in London!

Naw, that's kinda cheating, because that's a photo from one of my previous trips to London. See that stuff in the backgrpund? That's London stuff.

What I really did today is arrive at beautiful and busy Heathrow Airport, which is neither a heath nor is in a row. I took a car (I had to give it back, the police constable said) to my lovely and comfortable hotel by the strangely twenty-first century moniker of base2stay. It is known as one of the greenest hotels in London! Funny, looks white to me. Maybe they must not have painted it green yet.

Upon entering the base2stay and entering my spaciously furbished room (big screen TV! Kitchenette! Lots of extra rolls of toilet tissue, or as I call it while i'm here, bog paper)! But the best part of it all was the big soft comfortable bed, where I slept for some of the afternoon...okay, most of the wear off my jet lag. Darn you, jet lag! I'm in London and there's time-a-wastin', or, as the famous French painter of the Folies Bergere was known, No Time Toulouse!

One of the best things about being in the UK and at a hotel, or, as I now like to call it, a base, is the free wireless internet, which certainly beats all those motor lodges with hand-cranked AOL access or the internet which runs on slices of American processed cheese. Here: all the free internet you can eat. Plus, thanks to base2stay's handy UK access to the BBC iPlayer! And what's more, legal access to iPlayer for once! There are many, many fine episodes of Doctor Who that I have only watched sixteen or seventeen times before, so I'm looking forward to catching up while basing out here where I have come 2 stay.

After my mid-afternoon nap, I was as hungry as one of those furry animals they train to sit on top of a Royal Guardsman's head, so I headed down to Earl's Court Road for my usual and traditional first night dinner at Pizza Express! Pizza Express: the restaurant where you can order a pizza as big as their logo.

Has anyone seen the Pizza Express around here?

There are so many fine menu items at Pizza Express it took me quite some time to read them all! (And me without my reading glasses.) I don't think the waiter minded that it took me about forty-five minutes to read the menu...but it may have been a mistake to stop halfway through to finished reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Boy, that book's long!

I shall have one of everything, please

I was so hungry I coulda ate a horse! Sadly, the pizza d'cheval was off the menu, so I settled for some of my favorite Pizza Express menu items. First, a brisk refreshing salad:

Beautiful but you can't eat it

(Well, how was I s'posed to know it was just there for decoration?)

Then, for second starts, a proper salad of rocket (funny, they don't look at all like the toy rockets I have at home) and grileld chicken. Yum! Even better when drizzled with the dressing, as shown on left, which turned out to be delicious Hershey's Chocolate Sauce. Two great sensations that taste great together!


Then, to follow my flower and salad, why not a lovely salad? Me 'n' the waiter had a little trouble when I ordered this one, because he kept telling me that they didn't have tomatoes. But they did have something he called "to-mahhh-toes." They were pretty good too, especially sandwiched with delicious cheese, but it's really not the same as a good old fashioned American tomato and mozzarella salad.

You say tamayto, I say tomahto. And mootzarella.

Of course, when in Pizza Express, do try the pizza...I highly recommend the spicy hot Diavolo, which is brought straight to my table by Lucifer himself before he disappears in a puff of flame and smoke while cackling sinisterly. With its hot peppers, hot sausage, hot ground beef and hot Tabasco sauce topping, I thought it was pretty good. Coulda been a little more spicy for my tastes, tho'.

Never eat anything bigger than your head. Without a fork.

And after that, eight or ten cold Coca-Colas are often nice. or necessary.

They have coke in bottles here

But by far the most exciting discovery of the night? The Pizza Express's rest room loo has one of those new-fangled Dyson hoof dryers! Wow, my hoofs were dry in ten seconds! And I barely even washed them!

Happy and burping from my exceptional first-night meal, I went up Earl's Court Road to wander briefly along my old stomping grounds of Kensington High Street, only to find that stomping is no longer allowed as it keeps the residents awake. Whoops, sorry, folks. I tip-hooved into the Tesco Express to pick up snacks and the week's Time Out London, and headed back home2base 2have a midnight snack before retiring. Nothing like a fresh Tesco toffee ice cream knickerbocker and an ice-cold bottle of the best soda pop in the world, Lilt!

Now it's time for a healthy and light snack

Suitably stuffed, I am now crawling into bed...I'm sorry, in2bed to have happy dreams and 2wake up 2morrow 2see what I can go look4 in London. They are playing one of my favorite tunes: "Sailing By," on Radio 4, which always means it's time to go to bed whether you're a little stuffed bull or indeed even the Queen.

(But I bet the Queen didn't have a nice toffee sundae before bedtime!)

Good night and cheers, folks! See you 2morrow!


Elayne said...

Bully for you, Bully! Bully, I say! Do see if you might bring us back some of those Kleenex "Man-Size" (or Bull-Size) tissues, Robin misses them so and we can't get them in this country any more...

SallyP said...

Toffee? TOFFEE?!!! God, I love toffee. You are such a lucky bull.

Captain Brattan said...

Do they not have Lilt in the states?

Bully said...

Do they not have Lilt in the states?

We do not! I can get it occasionally at specialty British restaurants like Brooklyn's Chip Shop and at British shops like Myer's of Keswick, but sadly you can't find it most other places. And you can't find all-day breakfast sandwiches, anywhere!