Carry On My Wayward Bags

Hullo folks hullo! Wish me a safe and happy trip, 'coz I'm off on a jet plane for sunny, funny Los Angeles, home of movie stars, hardboiled detectives, Disneyland, and that restaurant where Lindsay Lohan threw up. But I'm not there to sit at a soda fountain and be discovered and put in a series of entertaining yet timeless moviola adventures. Oh, no no no no. (Well, maybe.) I'm heading out to attend the 2008 BookExpo America (BEA), the publishing industry's annual trade show, exhibition, and place to pick up shopping bags full of free book galleys. If you're gonna be at BEA this weekend, stop by the W. W. Norton booth (booth #1320), ask for my pal John (the big guy with a snazzy tie), and shake my hoof...I'll be delighted to meet you!

But today is a traveling day, so I've packed my little bags and I'm hopping into the car service towncar to head for the airport. I note that my carrier American Airlines will be charging $15 for checking a second bag. Wha—?!? Why, I'm only a little stuffed bull on a budget...I can't afford to spare fifteen bucks! That's a whole one and a half Indiana Jones movies, or five Jeff Parker comics!

Now, that Susan Storm Richards, she's pretty smart: she knows the way to get bags on board without anybody noticing:

Panel from Fantastic Four #227, written by Doug Moench, art by Bill Sienkiewicz and Bruce Patterson, coloring by George Roussos, lettering by Jim Novak

Reed spots her deception immediately because she's "walking funny," and that means they'll definitely be dipping into Willie Lumpkin's Christmas tip money to pay for those to be checked. Still, like her famous hothead brother, sometimes Sue is as dumb as a bag fulla hammers. Because, you know, it's not like she could have used a force field or anything to carry them on.

Anyway, as I always say: "Travel light, and buy snacks at the airport." See ya in Los Angeles!