An open letter to Mister S. Claus, Esq.

Hi hi hi Santa! (Or should I say "ho ho ho"? tee hee!) It's me, Bully, the little stuffed bull. How are you? I am fine. In fact I have been very very very very good all this year. (Note: if you have read the letter from my baby sister Marshall please ignore the thing about the garter snake in her bed. It just slipped in there by accident.)

I know it is pretty late on Christmas Eve and you are prob'bly pretty busy, what with all the elves running to and fro and checking your list the two hundred and twice time, but I also know you are a jolly fella who enjoys reading blogs daily so I'm hoping you're checkin' mine before you get bundled up for the Big Night. It's 'specially important because I wanted to make a few changes in my Christmas list, okay? I know you are all computerized now so you can log onto my FTP site and download the Excel spreadsheet (file size: 2.4MB) of my Christmas list, but just in case you're running a bit late or if Missus Claus is using up all your bandwidth playing Warhammer Online, here's the changes: you can please drop all the Zoey 101 merchandise from my Christmas list. Uh uh, I don't want it no more.

I know you take regular doses of ginko to keep your busy busy mind sharp, but just in case you need a reminder or a brain refresher...

Bully's Christmas List

1. Steve Zissou action figure (with scale-size Belafonte and bonus Klaus figure)
2. Batman pajamas
3. For Iron Man to stop being such a jerk
4. Signed photograph of Keira Knightley
5. A P. G. Wodehouse book that I don't have
6. 30 Rock Viewmaster reels
7. A rat that can cook meals for me
8. The Tales of Beedle the Bard. A used copy is O.K.
9. London Underground cuff links
10. A cuffed shirt
11. Tribble chow (lots)
12. Tickets to the Madness Concert Tour 2008
13. For Peter Parker to wake up next to Mary Jane and say "I had the weirdest dream, M.J."
14. A DVD of Doctor Who: Voyage of the Darned
15. Moomin: The Complete Tove Jansson Comic Strip,Book Two
16. For that new Star Trek movie to be pretty good
17. Oh, and a Simon Pegg as Scotty action figure
18. Peace on Earth
19. Good will to all
20. And a pink baby pig!

But I'll take anything you got in your sack, big guy. Drive safe and be sure to give Rudolph a carrot for me. Merry Christmas and thanks for all the wonderful gifts.

Your little stuffed pal,
Bully