So c'mon over and join in the fun! There's plenty of cookies here for everybody. But not for long! (Nom nom nom nom nom.)
Speaking of it today being the exact tenth anniversary of my blog...we were talking about that, weren't we? Anyway, hey! Remember when this blog used to look like this?
Back in the good old days when they biggest I could make images across was a mere 400 pixels! From there it was only a small skip and a leap and a couple cookies to get to what is now more-or-less my current and long-running template. Dig that decorative header!
Eventually I laboriously and manually retweaked the code in the template to make it a thrilling VistaVisionesque wide-screen, so I could at last do this:
Anyway, I've been blogging for ten years this very day, and most of it (as Arthur Dent has said) seems to have made some kind of sense.
Now usually 'round about these here parts I take a look back at the past year and re-present some of my favorite posts from the last three hundred sixty some-odd days. But this time around and because I've had my attentions split in other directions over the past year so I apologize if I don't bring you big wordy posts every night , I'm going to highlight the best of the best. They are all in fact, best! And, more important, fun! And in that spirit of fun, let's take a look back through ten years o' fun by spotlighting the top entertainment of the time and then My Favorite Post of Each Year! (Believe me, if I picked more than one post a year, we'd be here all night, folks, and I know you all have homes to go to and cookies of your own to eat.)
2005: We're all munching popcorn and cheering Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith to go away! The movie version V for Vendetta starts an annoying trend of ass-hats wearing plastic Guy Fawkes masks! Over on the television, there's a penguin! And, Craig Ferguson replaces Craig Kilborn as on The Late Late Show and no one notices because they're both named Craig! In comics, Scarlet Witch totally destroys her chance of ever appearing in a major motion picturing my making it so there were no more mutants! And we all get to lug home the one thousand pound boxed set of The Complete Calvin and Hobbes! And in your local movie cineplex, Batman starts beginning! So do I, on May 25 at Comics Oughta Be Fun with a buncha reviews! But the first post for which I ever got some attention on the blogosophere was an attempt to write a more-little-stuffed-bull-friendly version of Frank Miller's All Star Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder! Mind you, I did a much better version of this a few years later, once I'd sharpened my Photoshoppin' skills (it's a bit difficult with hooves).
2006: We were all rocking' to the
2007: Released onto the comic shelves is the miniseries that should have been what the new DC movie is: Superman & Batman vs. Aliens & Predator! We all contribute just a little bit to the decline of the art of cinema by actually giving Michael Bay honest-to-god money to see Transformers! (In related news, The Big Bang Theory premieres.) National Treasure: Book of Secrets confirms what we knew all along: the National Treasure in everyone's heart is Nicolas Cage! Drew Carey takes over as host of The Price Is Right, inspiring a can-do attitude in overweight be-spectacled nerds everywhere! And Carrie Underwood speaks out on the national problem of copying somebody else's answers on your SAT test in her kick-assin' anthem "Before He Cheats!" Also, I addressed The Problem of
2008: DC releases Final Crisis! Fanboys complain it's too hard to understand! (Look, the bullet travelled back in time, so...) Marvel releases Kick-Ass! On the other hand, they also debut Runaways, so it all balances out. Top films of the year include comic book properties Iron Man, The Dark Knight, and Mamma Mia! (I still miss the Mamma Mia! comic book series from Charlton.) Beyonce demands that I put a ring in it and I immediately get my nose pierced! Katy Perry kisses a girl! And American culture reaches its nadir with television's A Shot at Love 2 with Tila Tequila, Paris Hilton's My New BFF, Living Lohan, and Speed Racer: The Next Generation! (And then, Batman: the Brave and the Bold, so that all balances out. And I plink of my toy banjo and retail you with The Ballad of Lieutenant D'Amato, the Star Trek blue shirt who though he was safe!
2009: We all get very panicky about the approaching doom of Y2.01K, but manage to entertain ourselves until the end of the word by keeping a "Poker Face" along with Lady Gaga, learning how to pronounce the word "Syfy," and enjoying the newest issue of Marvel Team-Up: Spider-Man and President Obama! Also, Batman died. (Awww.) But that's okay, because we're putting on 3D glasses to see blue people in James Cameron's Avatar. Why, 2009, my life would suck without you. Also, without Angel Love doing her cover of a classic song by Eric Clapton!
2010: Ke$ha's Tik Tok! NBC boots Conan O'Brien off The Tonight Show! The New Doctor eats fish fingers and custard! Most of the most popular movies have a number in them (Toy Story 3! Harry Potter 7.1! Iron Man 2! 127 Hours!). And Rihanna develops amnesia and has to ask Drake what her name is! (Answer: Rihanna.) But the entertainment spectacle of the year and surely an early entry for the decade's finest bovine-based TV mystery program is Encyclopedia Bull, Bovine Detective!
2011: I downloaded the MP3 of P!nk's smash hit "Pancake Perfect," cheered up my pals Charlie Sheen and Gilbert Gottfried after they were fired from their lucrative media gigs, flew the friendly skies with Christina Ricci on Pan Am, enrolled at the Jean Grey Academy along with Wolverine and the X-Men, and OH FOR PETE'S SAKE WHY DID I SEE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES?!? To recuperate, I pointed out that Commissioner Gordon is a Jerk.
2012: The world ended on December 21. Which didn't give you much chance to reflect on the obvious pun which I spun into an elaborate post where the worlds of James Bond and Monty Python collide: You Only Quarrel Twice!
2013: It's Taylor Swift's year! Hit singles like "I Knew You Were Trouble!" The record-breaking "Red" concert tour! The ceremonial ousted of her from country music, symbolized by Kenny Chesney burning her effigy on the steps of the Country Music Hall of Fame! Her blink-and-you'll-miss-it romances with Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor Lautner, Bill Clinton, Ellen Degeneres, and Joe Quesada! And then Taylor Swift invaded the Marvel Universe! She's always doin' that.
2014: A cuddly raccoon with a gun is America's most improbably movie star! The Flash zooms onto our TVs and into our hearts! Every motion picture released domestically is a sequel to another one! Jughead eats his Riverdale pals in Afterlife with Archie! I start to run out of exclamation points for this post! Then, suddenly, it happens. The most exciting Bully post of 2014. So exciting that I just went out and got another case of exclamation points! An entire month of Archie's Generic Celebrities!
I also apologize for starting "365 Days of KirbyTech" in 2014 but never finishing it.
2015: All that's been on my Twitter feed for the past two weeks sums up 2015: MAD MAX
So, there ya go! Ten years of messin' around with comic books. If you take only one thing away from my blog, however, I'm hoping it's this one thing:
Oh! Lookin' at that old header reminds me to remind you to scroll upwards to check out my all-new, in-celebration-of-ten-years-on-the-internet comics header, blog header, beautifully created by Isaac over at Two Strip Technicolor! (Check out how you can commission your own header graphic or icon from Isaac here.) Thanks, Isaac!
Well, that's about it for my Teniversary. Goodnight and thanks for reading, everybody! I'm off to bed!