Monday, April 07, 2014

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 97: Nightshade's Hulk Head-Hurter*

You might underestimate the supervillain Nightshade because she wears a black leather bikini, but she's actually, as the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe tells us, "an extraordinary genius, and extensively self-taught in genetics, biochemistry, cybernetics, robotics and physics. She also obtained a doctoral degree from an undisclosed university while in prison." Hmm, just call her Doctor Nightshade.

Panels from Marvel Team-Up Annual #3 (1980); script by Roger Stern; pencils by Herb Trimpe; inks by Mike Esposito, Al Milgrom, Bruce Patterson, Dave Humphrys, and Joe Rubinstein, colors by John Costanza, letters by Ken Klaczak

This KirbyTech device isn't specifically explained, but it's obviously meant to mentally enslave or compel the Hulk into doing Nightshade's bidding. Let's see how well it works!

Yeah, just about what I expected.

Since Nightshade often uses pheromones to control her male victims, I'm wondering why she didn't use those on the Hulk in the first place. But it's a good back-up plan, and maybe she's using them right on him in the panels below. In the absence of scratch-and-sniff comics, we'll just have to assume that she's using her feminine allure to get results. Shame on you, evil scientist supervillainess! It's women like you who give feminism, and foxy blackspolitation characters in black leather, a bad name.

If you're ever in a similar position, if not necessary a black leather bikini, just remember to ask nice. Mama Hulk taught Hulk to have good manners, so be sure to say "please" and "thank you" to Hulk and he'll give you a big green hand. Preferably with a minimum of smashing, but hey, you takes what you gets.

Of course, you can guess what's going to happen somewhere in the story: Hulk discovers that Nightlight has been gas-shading him...I mean, Nightshade has been gas-lighting him...and it all comes to tears. The moral of the story is, don't lie to the Hulk. Especially if you tell him you have pie and you don't have any pie. Come to think of it, don't try that trick on me either. That trick makes this little stuffed bull angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Oh, I tell a lie Even when I'm angry, I'm still absolutely adorable.

So remember: if you get in dutch with t5he Hulk, and he's likely to smash you, just burst into tears. He'll scoff at you and then leap away. Trust me: it's worked so many times for General "Thunderbolt" Ross the the army troops under his command call him "Raincloud" Ross.

Bonus Fun with Homophones!

*Probably not its real name.

1 comment:

Blam said...

"Some men have a special package that belongs to me!"
"Hulk just bet they do! And rest of men are 'confirmed bachelors' like Hulk's Uncle Danny!"