Wednesday, April 09, 2014

365 Days of KirbyTech, Day 99: SHIELD's Scramble Helmet

"You know SHIELD's stand on psychics — they don't exist." — Victoria Hand, Marvel's Agents of SHIELD

Panels from "Operation: Brain Blast!" in Strange Tales #141 (February 1966), plot and pencils by Jack Kirby, dialogue by Stan Lee, inks by Frank Giacoia, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Sam Rosen

Well, Nick Knows-It-All-Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.*, if psi-agents don't exist, then you need to go to your Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe and tear out the page for Mentallo! And for Medusa, 'coz she's on the flip side of the page.

Aside from the power to project flashbacks on his nifty red helmet, Mentallo is cursed with internal exposition, which lets us and anybody sitting next to him at that particular Starbuck's that he's going to attack SHIELD! Which, to be honest, isn't that unusual. Guys attack SHIELD two or three times a day. Last week they were attacked seven times alone by Gary Busey. But, to be honest, that isn't that unusual for Gary Busey either.

So, what is SHIELD doing to protect itself from the villainous rampage of a guy who can think really hard at you? Well, for one, SHIELD agents are now locking that back door that Clay Quartermain keeps propping open. Also, they're trying to trick mole agents by walking into a room and casually asking "Hey, who here likes Hydra?" Also: they have developed the Scramble Helmet.

Cover of Strange Tales #141 (February 1966), pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Frank Giacoia, colors by Stan Goldberg, letters by Artie Simek

Here's a closer look at the Scramble Helmet (not to be confused with the Scrabble Helmet, which inserts seven randomly chosen letters into your brain, usually seven consonants or seven vowels, mostly Es).

Here's how the Scramble Helmet works. Please note that I've tossed in, for no extra cost, the special KirbyTech Rocket Pistol! Who says this isn't the Boisterous Bully Age of Bombastic Bargains?

Yes, it's the ultimate in undetectable covert secret agent wear: a big-ass space helmet with an aerial on it. What, they couldn't get cable on those things?

So remember: don't yield, back the Brain Scrambler's psychic shield!

*Scramble Helmet Is Exceptionally Lovely, Donchathink?

1 comment:

Jon Jermey said...

I'm guessing it's called a 'scramble helmet' because that's what you can do to eggs with the doohickey on top, right?