Thursday, November 06, 2008

"...As little as a spoon...perceives the taste of food!"

When we last left our heroes, the Duke Boys Star Warriors were in more trouble than a mess o' possums tryin' to steal a corncob from an Alabama senator a Rodian trying to get into an all-Ithorian cabaret. How are they gonna get out of this one? What do you think, Luke Exposition?

Star Wars comics
Whoa, what did I tell you about ad-libbing to pad your part, Hamill? Somebody do something to shut him up!


Star Wars comics
WHOA! Not like that, Princess! Believe me, you're gonna regret this by the third movie! And there'll be a whole lotta awkward moments around the palace at Coruscant, trust me. So just move along here, folks...nothing to see here, nothing to see...

Hands up all those who believe Lucas really did have the whole saga plotted out at this point. Put your hand down, Supershadow!


Star Wars comics
Obi-Wan Kenobi: he's here to kick ass and chew bantha gum. And he's all out of bantha gum.


Labored science fiction metaphor coming up in five...four...three...
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"You forget, my former master...in this universe, we call spoons 'personal consumption concaves!"

By the way, why is "The Force" in quotes throughout the entire comic? It makes it sound as if they don't quite believe in it. Either that, or Jack Kirby is doing the dialogue.


Star Wars comics
"Alec Guinness here, kids, reminding you of the dangers of plugging in a toaster while in the bathtub. I'm dead now. Don't do like I did."


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Hamill! What did I tell you about ad-libbing! And stop doing your Cagney impression! Somebody shut him...


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...Now cut that out!


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Warning: this scene does not take place in the movie.


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This one, either. Exciting tho', ain't they?


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Thus perishes one of the noblest heroes of the Star Wars saga...Lt. Tono Porkins. I'm so pleased his best friends remember him by a dignified nickname.

Say, does it smell like bacon in here?


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I'll take "Things Darth Vader Wouldn't Really Say" for two hundred, Alex.


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HAMILL! Stop doing that!


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And thus the Star Wars comic adaptation ends, but not without Roy Thomas trying to fill in the S-canon backstory of why the Wookiee didn't get a medal. What, they don't have stepladders in outer space, Leia?


So, there it is. Star Wars. And if you missed it...
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Here it is again...the entire movie in one easy-to-digest super-recapping splash page.


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And, just in case you blinked and missed it...well, here's another one.


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And another one, brought to you in glorious Cinnabon-vision.


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And here's...hey, what the Sam Scratch is goin' on here? The Star Wars comic books have more freakin' flashbacks than an episode of Friends!

Still. Star Wars, huh, everybody? Star Wars. Where men are men, Wookiees are Wookiees, Jedi are extinct, and Princess don't wear bras.
Star Wars comics



5 comments:

Mike Lynch said...

Absolutely fun stuff. Love the "Bully commentary." I think Marvel printed a critical letter from me in one of those early issues. I was a vicious little nerd. *Shudder!*

Harvey Jerkwater said...

Ye gods, this takes me back. Star Wars comics were among my very first, as a wee, wee tadger. I especially prized an issue where Han Solo and some red-haired space pirate dude had a blaster fight in SPAAAACE while wearing rocket packs and, um, scuba masks. Spacesuits? Don't need 'em. Carmine Infantino weird angular art? Do need that.

Sci-fi Marvel Comics of the late seventies are wired directly into the "happy, giddy kid" part of my brain. Thanks for the recap, Bully.

bwmedia said...

The only creepy-in-retrospect kiss was in the second movie when Leia practically sucks the oxygen out of Luke to stick it to Han. (I should rephrase) Although, she does later make out with Han, and does choose him, so it all worked out. Unless your Marvel.

The only Marvel Star Wars comic I have not a Dark Horse reprint or Star imprint (I'll read any SW comic where R2 and 3PO take center stage) has the Rebels getting off a gambling station. From what I can tell, some Senator allows everyone but Leia goes because he's hot for her or something. (Must have seen ahead to the slave outfit in the third movie.) Apparently they still weren't told Luke and Leia weren't supposed to be "an item". Unless they're in a soap opera.

Phillip said...

I loved these comics. I had them in the Treasury Edition, and I read'em to bits. I kept thinking I'd seen scenes that were cut from the movie, but I'd just read them in the comic so many times. (BTW, Luke didn't have the grappling hook with him when he arrived on the Death Star; it was part of the Stormtrooper gear he was wearing.)

Seth said...

Who did the art on the final summary splash? I can't place it...